Original poster: sakaim Title: Ambivalent Lucidity: Rewrite Rating: NC-17 Author: </a></b></a>sakaim Pairing: Harry/Draco Summary:When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placedunder the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter. Warnings:Violence, rape, character death, mental illnesses (DissociativeIdentity Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress, Paranoid Schizophrenia),slash, Pre-HBP
Note: COMPLETE Green eyes slid slowly open and blinked owlishly for a moment beforelarge hands came up and rubbed furiously at them before Harry’s visioncleared enough to make out the sleeping blond next to him. This wascomfortable, the perfect way to wake up on a Christmas morning, and soit had been for the past two Christmases. Every year, Harry and Dracospent Christmas Eve at the Burrow with the Weasleys and Hermione, andevery Christmas morning since the morning after Draco’s Ancestral Ritefinished, Harry did the very same thing.
He reached out, restinghis hands on Draco’s body and pulling it closer, so close he could buryhis nose in Draco’s hair. The blond gave a little moan in his sleep butdid not wake, and Harry beamed at him, checking the clock over Draco’sshoulder. 08:23—perfect. No one else would be awake, with the exceptionof Molly, and so they would not be interrupted. He flicked his wand atthe door, casting a Silencing Charm so as to not disturb anyone else,before he suddenly and forcefully rolled Draco onto his back. Dracohardly stirred, smacking his lips in his sleep. “You sod,” Harrybreathed, and he swiftly disappeared beneath the blankets. Draco’spale, bare stomach leapt under his fingertip-touch, and he pressed akiss to the golden-blond trail of fuzz leading from Draco’s bellybuttoninto his boxer shorts before his fingers snagged the waistband and drewit downward. The boxers rolled off of Draco’s hips with littleresistance, and Draco’s lips smacked again.
Neither Harry norDraco was usually a morning-sex type of guy, they had discovered in thepast two years, but Christmas was special, and traditions must beupheld. Their first Christmas together, just after Draco’s‘personalities’ had disappeared, the blond had been sporting quite themorning erection and Harry had been completely unable to help himself.
“Whatare you doing?” Draco mumbled as his eyes slid open, but theyimmediately slammed closed again as Harry’s mouth, still terriblyunskilled at this, slipped over his cock and gave it a very proper goodmorning kiss. “Ah…” His legs spread wantonly, and he lifted his kneesto wrap his shins around Harry’s shoulders. He supposed it was luckyRon had given the room to them for the evening, in celebration ofDraco’s newfound sanity. Liquid heat pooled in his thighs, and heburied his hands in Harry’s hair as he thrust clumsily, sleepily, intoHarry’s willing mouth.
Harry’s path took the same one it hadtwo years ago, his lips rubbing lazily down from Draco’s bellybutton tohis hips, those razor-sharp hips that jutted almost too high above hislover’s stomach, and he scraped the thin flesh with his teeth as hishand traversed Draco’s right thigh and moved upward. His slipped histhumb and index finger under the blond’s balls so that his palm cuppedhis perineum, and he suckled hard and fast on the flesh of the hip inhis mouth, leaving a lovely purple mark. Draco’s morning erectionbrushed warm and velvety soft against his cheek, and Harry turned torun the wing of his nose along the proud shaft. Draco shifted in hisslumber and exclaimed wordlessly when Harry’s right hand, still palminghis taint, applied a bit of pressure and stimulated his prostate.
Harrygave a sleepy little laugh into the thick blond curls at the base ofDraco’s cock, and he sinfully swiped only the very tip of his tonguewhere the shaft met Draco’s scrotum. Harry’s own arousal pressedinsistently into the white sheet beneath him, and he whispered,breathed, “Wake up, wake up,” against the head of Draco’s now-dark redcock. His lips were slick with saliva as he spoke, and Draco wasgasping above him.
Draco was gasping as Harry’s head bobbedon his cock, and he realized with a shock that he had not returned thefirst blowjob Harry had given him. Harry did not seem to mind, however,for he was swallowing Draco as much as he could have, opening histhroat and trying to take him all, but he gagged around the length andpulled back with a clumsy giggle. “Guess I can’t do that yet,” Harryproclaimed from somewhere—Draco knew exactly where—beneath the blanket.Draco grinned and gave a nod, but his eyes were shut as tightly as theycould be, for he knew that Harry was not done. “You want me tocontinue?”
“Fuck, yeah…”
“I’m awake,” Draco moanedwith a shudder, and he glanced over to the clock before his eyes rolledback in his head. Harry’s tongue was rolling all over the cherry-redapex of his erection, then it was traveling downward with long strokes,coating him in saliva. “You’ve got the sluttiest mouth for a GoldenBoy, you know that?” He loved Harry’s mouth, loved it almost as much ashe loved his arse or his cock, just not quite. Harry responded by doingsomething he certainly had not been able to do two years ago: heswallowed Draco whole, taking all of him into his mouth and throat andpressing his lips to those aforementioned curls in a strange sort ofkiss. Draco cursed loudly and ached all over with the heat of theencounter, spreading his legs and quite literally whining for more.Harry chuckled around his cock, and Draco was sure he would just die.Harry pushed with his palm again, and the tingles shooting up Draco’sspine from his prostate jump-started his heart again, and he waswrithing so hard that the fitted sheet came out from under the mattressand tangled around them. Neither man noticed.
“Fuck me?” Dracoasked, and this was the reason for which he hated morning sextypically. He could not hold himself back, could not allow foreplay togo on as long as it might have, for he was quick to come to climax justafter waking. Had it been evening, they would have fooled around forhalf an hour, minimum, with much of Harry’s tongue buried deep inDraco’s arse. It turned Draco on like nothing else, but he knew thatHarry enjoyed it far more than he did, and so rimming would normally besaved for the moments just before sex, or they would both come inmoments. This morning, and every morning they did this, however, Dracowanted fucked and he wanted fucked immediately.
“No,” Harrybreathed as he slipped his mouth off of that erection with a soft pop,and he crept with the liquidity of a cat up Draco’s body and proppedhimself up over him, his nose just inches away from his lover’s.Draco’s erection was pointing straight upward and nudging Harry’s in asuggestive manner, and Harry grinned at the tortured look on hisboyfriend’s face. “No, I think I’m ready…”
“Fuck me,Harry…Please, I’m ready for you to fuck me,” Draco gasped as Harrycrawled over him and lay, naked and grinning on top of him. He did notcare that he had just killed his father days before, that he was onlyhours into his stability of mind—he wanted Harry and was tired ofwaiting. For once, they would not have to be concerned with Dracogetting lost inside his own head, would not have to stop to make sureDraco was all right because he was.
Harry’s eyes widened and hesearched Draco’s grey ones as though trying to detect whether or not hewas lying. He found no deceit there, and his eyebrows knitted togetherbefore he fingered through Draco’s hair and smiled. “Of course,” Harrymurmured as he dipped his head and pressed a few heated kisses to theridge of Draco’s collarbone. A sudden fear gripped him—he really didnot have much of an idea how this worked at all—but Draco knew what hewas doing, and he pulled the sinful little bottle of oil he hadpurchased for them through owl order the week before they left Hogwartsfrom the nightstand and pushed it into Harry’s hand.
“Finger me…”
“Whatdo you—? A-ah, fuck, Harry, really?” Draco stammered as he realizedwhat Harry was suggesting. For the two years they had been having sex,Harry had been much too nervous about letting Draco penetrate him, andDraco had so desperately wanted to. He never pushed the subject, as hewas happy bottoming for Harry at any time, but that certainly had notstopped him from wanting it. Harry nodded down at him and grinnedbefore he snagged the lube from the bedside table and moved so he wason all fours, proudly displaying his arse to Draco.
The blond’scheeks lit on fire as Harry coated his own fingers in the oil and wavedthem playfully at Draco before He reached back and slipped one fingerinto himself. “That’s right,” Harry purred seductively, and he shotDraco a devilish look over his shoulder before he pushed another fingerinside with a slight wince then began to stretch himself with them. Hehad been preparing for this surprise for weeks, casually fingeringhimself in the shower, getting used to the feeling of something in hisarse, and so the wince was really for Draco’s enjoyment.
Dracoreached out a hand and palmed Harry’s left buttock before he squeezedit and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. His grey eyes werefixated on Harry impaling himself upon his own fingers, and he reacheddown with his right hand to stroke himself lightly at the sight. “Takethe time you need,” he murmured, and he swallowed thickly as Harryshoved another finger into himself and began to fuck himself with them.“You’re a fucking minx, you know that?”
“Don’t forget it,” Harrywhispered, and he gave a breathy moan as Draco grabbed the lubricationfrom his hand and began spreading it liberally on his cock. Harrypulled his fingers out of himself and gave his own arse a slap beforehe arched an eyebrow at Draco. “Go on then, Malfoy…”
Dracosneered at him at the jab, but his heart was pounding heavily in hischest as he lifted himself onto his knees and guided the head of hiserection to Harry’s puckered, slick arse and pushed forward. Warmthenveloped him as the muscles granted him passage and he slid inside ofthe other man, his breath immediately becoming shallow as Harry pushedback, pulling Draco deeper and deeper until he was buried to the hiltwithin the black-haired boy. “Fucking hell, Potter…”
Itcertainly was not Draco’s first time having someone’s fingers shoved uphis arse, but this was most definitely the first time he had not beenterrified during the ordeal. He was arching his back and moaning asHarry, currently two fingers deep, traced the inside of his ear withthe very tip of his tongue. Draco felt as though his cock was going toexplode when Harry’s fingers crooked upward and sent shudders up hisspine, and he heard himself choking out Harry’s name just as a thirdfinger wriggled its way inside. “Harry…Fucking Merlin, will you get onwith it? You’re not going to hurt me…”
Harry’s eyes met Draco’sonce more before he grinned and nodded. “Whatever you say…” He watchedas Draco shoved the pillows they had previously been sleeping on underhis hips, elevating them, and he groaned as Draco took the oil andspread it over Harry’s erection. A flutter of doubt, of nervousness,made Harry swallow convulsively, but he wanted this, wanted to lose hisvirginity to Draco right then. He whimpered as he positioned himself infront of Draco, his legs stretched out awkwardly behind him for themoment as he pressed his cock to Draco’s arse and slipped only the headinside. Even that much was enough to make Harry want to come, but heheld himself back and pushed further, hands shaking on Draco’s hips asthey found purchase there.
Draco was moaning and whimperingbeneath him, opening his legs wider and bearing down on that cock,slight twinges of pain fluttering through his abdomen as Harry finallyhad pushed in as far as he could, his scrotum resting warmly againstDraco’s tailbone. The black-haired boy was trembling all over by thispoint, and he waited until Draco gave him a nod before he moved overDraco, propping himself up over him and digging his knees into thesheet-strewn mattress just before he began to thrust shallowly. Draco’shands were on Harry’s neck and hip, and he met Harry’s eyes, gaspingfor breath as he was fucked. He wanted to say something, to tell Harrythat he loved him more than life itself, but Harry took a much deeperthrust, and a loud, pleased cry ripped out of his throat instead.
Harrynuzzled his face into the sheets and moaned deeply as Draco pulled backand began to plunge into him again and again. He suddenly wondered whyin the hell he had not let Draco do this before—it was wonderful—buthis thoughts were cut short as Draco changed his angle just slightlyand rubbed right against Harry’s prostate in a way that was sopleasurable it almost hurt. His short nails dug into the bed, and hesqueezed his buttocks around Draco’s cock, the moan it pulled from theblond making Harry want to flip right around and fuck him in return,but then Draco was hitting that spot again, and he was crying outviscerally into the quiet room with every one of Draco’s thrusts.
Thefeel of Harry squeezing and the sound of him announcing his pleasure tothe mattress forced Draco to fuck him ever harder, and he reachedaround to take a shaky hold on Harry’s arousal. He tried to stroke itin time with his thrusts, but he could not concentrate on both at once,so his hand was, in his opinion, doing a rather halfhearted job. Harrydid not seem to agree, however, for he spluttered somethingunintelligible into the bed before beginning to move, meeting Draco’scock halfway on every movement. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK, Draco!” Harrychoked, and Draco was just about to let himself come when Harrysuddenly pulled off of Draco and shoved him hard back onto the bed.
“Wh-wha—?!”Draco managed, sprawled out on his back, before Harry crawled over himand poured a hefty amount of oil down Draco’s erection before hepositioned himself over it, his legs to either side of Draco’s hips,and Draco met those green eyes with a look of painful arousal beforeHarry pushed himself down on that proud cock. The now-familiar warmthof Harry’s arse clutching at Draco made the blond reach up and bury hisnails in Harry’s hips, and his eyes rolled back as Harry began bouncinghimself atop him, one of his hands wrapped around his own cock andstroking it in time with every lift and fall.
Harry pushedhis body up a bit and grabbed one of Draco’s legs, never stopping hisdesperate thrusting into the other as he pulled that leg over hisshoulder and rested his cheek lightly against Draco’s shin. Draco wasarching his back and writhing, jerking himself off while Harry sankhimself deep inside him again and again. Draco felt tears—not of pain,that was for certain—coursing down his cheeks as Harry began to losehimself in the sensations. “Harder…Fuck, harder!” Draco begged in aloud, gasping cry, and Harry complied with his request, slamming sohard into his boyfriend that he was amazed it did not hurt the blond.But no, Draco was masturbating furiously and, now, sobbing Harry’s nameas he drew ever closer to orgasm. Harry’s heart began to beat faster,and the white-hot flower of heat in his groin was threatening to burstat any moment as he both watched Draco and partook of him. Draco’s arsebegan to squeeze around his thrusting erection, and Draco suddenlyyelled without restraint, all of his muscles tightening almostimpossibly around Harry as he came so forcefully that jet after jet ofwhite splattered his chest and the underside of his chin.
Harrygasped and let himself go completely at the sight and feel of Dracocoming around him, and Draco’s name was ripped from his chest as hefelt his own cock begin to twitch deep within the other boy’s clenchedarse. Draco was still coming hard when Harry emptied his desire deepwithin him, his balls tight against his body as his hips jerkedconvulsively and his cock buried itself as deep as possible within thattight passage as he came.
Draco was writhing and twistingunder Harry, his hips occasionally jerking hard upward as Harry beganeach downward descent. Harry knew that he, Draco, was not long for thisworld, and he gave fucking himself on that cock all the energy he had.He reached back with his left hand and wrapped his fingers aroundDraco’s scrotum, giving it a soft, caressing squeeze, and just beforehe knew Draco was about to come, he brought his finger up to his mouth,soaking it in saliva before he moved it downward and slipped it deepwithin Draco and pressed against his prostate.
That was it forDraco. He threw his forearm over his eyes and stopped holding back,shuddering and moaning Harry’s name as he immediately began toejaculate inside the other man. Harry did not stop riding him for aninstant, and Draco jerked and spasmed beneath him while he came,cursing. When he fell still and lifted his forearm to peek out atHarry, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly agape, he shuddered as Harrypulled himself off of his cock and moved up over him, still jerkinghimself off determinedly. “Open up,” Harry breathed, and Draco’s eyeswidened before he opened his mouth obediently. Harry pushed his cockdeep inside of that willing mouth and let himself go, groaning asDraco’s lips suckled him as he finally came. He could feel Draco’stongue swiping along the sides of his erection as he poured himselfdown Draco’s throat, and when he pulled out and collapsed backward ontothe mattress, shivering with the force of his orgasm, he grinned atDraco.
“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Draco…”
“Happy Christmas, Potter.”
“Merry Christmas, Harry.”
Therecame a knock at the door around half an hour later. Harry and Dracowere already cleaned up and dressed for the day, so they were notstartled when Ron opened the door and peeked inside. “Oh, you’re up,”he stated with a hint of surprise in his voice, and his headdisappeared for a moment before he slipped into the room and closed thedoor. There was the sound of a baby screaming downstairs before heclosed it, and he rolled his eyes before he shook his head. “You don’tmind if I hide in here for a moment, do you? Bill can’t get his baby tostop shrieking long enough for us to get started on presents, and Mum’strying to get me to watch it.”
Harry snorted and shook his head.“Hide away,” he invited as he watched Draco inspecting himself in themirror. Ron nodded and looked as though he was considering sitting onthe bed, but he caught sight of the half-empty bottle of oil left outon the nightstand and thought better of it.
“Er, all right.” He settled for a chair.
Ithad been two full years since Draco was cured, and their lives hadchanged completely since then. They had graduated from Hogwarts, andHarry was currently in Auror training for the Ministry even thoughVoldemort had been defeated the year before by Harry, Hermione, andDraco. Ron had been away at the time, and Voldemort had caught thethree one Saturday night when they were having dinner in Diagon Alley,where Harry and Draco shared a flat. It was a combined spell from Harryand Draco that killed him, and the boys had been in St. Mungo’s forweeks afterward. Neither knew what spells they had cast, but theysupposed it did not matter. They were alive, and Voldemort was not.Nothing could be more important.
Draco worked at QualityQuidditch Supplies across from their flat, though he certainly did nothave to. “I have to have something to do with my time, Potter,” he hadsnapped at Harry when Harry skeptically questioned his motives. Heworked while Harry was away in training for the better part of everyweekday, though he never worked more than six hours or so. Both he andHarry had the newest broomstick prototype, Tailwind IV, though theywondered if there had ever been a Tailwind I, II, or III. Harryinsisted that it was really just a more expensive version of theFirebolt, but Draco knew better. It went half a mile an hour faster,had slightly better balance (Harry insisted there was nothing wrongwith the Firebolt’s balance, but Draco informed him that he sat crookedon it, so he would not have noticed. Harry thumped him.), and hadbetter anti-jinxing charms. It was the sort of subject they did notdiscuss too often, as it often led to a fight.
Ron and Hermionewere no longer together, as Ron got too paranoid whenever he left onbusiness trips for Fred and George’s joke shop. They parted on goodterms, and it was painfully obvious that Hermione was still deeply inlove with Ron, but she told Harry that they both needed to grow up abit before trying again.
Bill and Fleur Delacour were marriedand had a daughter, Amiella, who was just three months old. Charlie wasstill single and fighting dragons in Romania, while Fred and Georgewere wildly successful with their shops in both Hogsmeade and DiagonAlley. Harry often had them over for lunch on weekends, and Draco wasgrowing quite fond of them. Ginny was flying for the Holyhead Harpiesas Chaser, their newest team member. Percy was Assistant to the Minsterof Magic, and they rarely saw him.
There had been a good fiveminutes since the baby stopped crying, and so when Molly called,“Presents!” up the stairs, the three men left the room and stompeddownstairs. Draco looked over at Harry and beamed at him, tanglingtheir fingers together and looking pleased. Harry leaned over andkissed him just before they reached the bottom of the stairs and took aseat on the floor next to Bill, who immediately handed the baby over toDraco.
Draco made a funny face at Bill and cradled the child inhis arms, looking down at her with something between terror andadoration. Harry cocked an eyebrow at him and watched as Draco touchedher hair and her chubby cheeks curiously, and he leaned lightly intoDraco’s shoulder. The baby grabbed one of Draco’s fingers and pulled itinto her mouth with a strong grip, and Draco wrinkled his nose as shegummed his fingertip. “Gross,” he muttered, but he was smiling, andwhen Bill offered to take the baby back, Draco shook his head andcontinued to hold her.
Harry grinned at him and, when everyonebegan ripping their presents open, he leaned over in the noise andwhispered, “You want one?” Draco’s eyes widened and he met Harry’s gazewith a skeptical look, and Harry burst out laughing at his expression.“I’ll take that as a no, shall I?”
“You can clean up the pukeand the shit, Potter…” They laughed together, and Bill took the baby sothey could open their gifts. Sitting there, covered in sweaters andtacky underpants, Harry looked over to Draco again, watching as heopened his gifts, and he smiled to himself. Draco glanced over and sawhim staring, and he gave him a slight smile with a questioning lookbefore going back to his presents.
Harry knew how lucky he was.Even Ron and Hermione had not been able to stay together, and everyonestill gave him and Draco curious looks, as though wondering how theymade it work so well. Harry knew it was because they told each othereverything and kept no secrets whatsoever, and that it was because theytrusted each other implicitly. He knew Draco would not cheat on him,and he would never even think about it himself. He often thought abouthow McGonagall and Dumbledore—may they rest in peace—had given him theoption of leaving Draco by the wayside (though Draco had certainlygiven him no such choice). He could not even imagine his life nowwithout Draco at his side, and he did not regret for a moment the nighthe took Draco back into his care.
“Will you stop staring atme?!” Draco snarled playfully at Harry so the others could not hear.Harry blinked at him then smiled apologetically, chuckling as Dracoleaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. “What are you thinkingabout, anyway?”
“Your arse,” Harry proclaimed firmly, a stupid grin on his face, and Draco rolled his eyes.