miracle (miracle) wrote in harrylovesdraco, @ 2007-04-09 21:51:00 |
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Title: Toilet troubles
Author:
“HELP!”
“Oh real witty Potter”
“SOMEONE?!”
“Give it up already”
“Shut UP Malfoy! I don‘t see you helping!”
“Mainly because I find it in my best interests not to get all soppy with toilet water as you are so amiably demonstrating”
Harrybanged his head against the sealed door of the lavatory, it wasreaching one in the morning and it had been about an hour since he hadrealised the toilets in Hogwarts seemed to enjoy playing an immensejoke on him. Malfoy sat on the edge of one of the broken sinks pickingat his nails, if any other boy had been doing the same thing, he wouldhave been horrified but almost ninety percent of the school found DracoMalfoy to be the perfect candidate as a happy bisexual/homosexual(Harry really couldn’t be bothered to judge at the moment)
Fuming,the green eyed boy continued to batter his fists against the rottingdoor, he thought that if enough pressure was applied to it at regularintervals, then it might just give way, but according to the solidstructure it wasn’t falling over any time soon.
“ANYONE!?”
“Potterfor fuck’s sake, NOONE is going to hear you! And judging by howdesperate you sound, I’m sure anyone who HAS heard you would have runoff screaming by now” Malfoy had finally finished picking his nails andlook up with a steely glare. His arms crossed over his chest, givinghim a slight impression of an aristocrat, even though he was sittingupon a rusty old sink.
‘What did I say about shutting that bigmouth of yours Malfoy!?” Harry spun around so abruptly he almostslipped on the wet tiles, and although his reply was as scathing aspossible, it was cut down dramatically by his scrabbling to remainupright. The bottom of his robes were already soaking wet and he damnedMoaning Myrtle to hell for flooding the toilet on this particular night.
Wherethe hell was she anyway? Malfoy was smirking so widely that Harry feltthe increasing desire to hit him but then that would mean trekking hisway to where Malfoy was with the risk of slipping once more. He rubbedthe bruise which had developed on his right butt cheek when he hadattempted to jump up to the large window but only succeeded in slippingon the tiles and hurting both him and a toilet door. Nevertheless, itwas all that stupid blonde’s fault for suggesting it in such a flawlessway.
He kicked the door feebly this time, his drenched robes splattering against the wood.
“YesPotter, keep kicking like that, maybe someone might hear you” Malfoy’scomment just dripped with sarcasm and he resumed to check his shoes forflecks of water that might have managed to find their way onto him.Something in Harry snapped at that comment, it was surprising that hemanaged an hour in an unsupervised place without ripping the blonde toshreds.
He walked carefully into one of the cubicles, ignoringMalfoy’s loud comment of whether or not he was constipated, andwrenched a great wad of toilet paper out from its dispenser.
“…then again I saw how you were shovelling all that food down your throatduring dinner…” Draco continued to insult the Gryffindor while pickingoff invisible lint from his robes, not noticing that Harry had emergedfrom the cubicle.
SPLAT!
Harry had lobbed the wet tissuestraight at Malfoy’s head, all the while thinking about whether or notit was enough force to keep the boy knocked out long enough for him toregain some peace and quiet. Obviously not.
“WHAT THE BLEEDINGHELL IS YOUR PROBLEM POTTER?!” apparently the force was enough to makethe blonde boy topple off his perch on the sink to a great heap on thewater logged floor. The tissue clung like a sucker on Malfoy’s leftcheek, slowing losing its grip and plopping heavily on the tiles nextto him, also splashing him (to Harry’s delight) with more water.
Hehad one over Malfoy, seeing as the blonde boy had more than half hisbody drenched, not to mention that his own hair looked rather neatcompared to the now dirty blonde locks which the fallen boy sported. Hecrossed his arms, not unlike the manner Malfoy had imposed, and sneeredat him.
“I suggest that next time you decide to run your mouthlike a motor… don’t” the echo of water splashing across the surface ofthe sinks as Draco attempted to pull himself up was enough to makeHarry wonder whether they would find a way out of their dilemma.Unfortunately for him, his little act of vandalism on Malfoy broughthim that much closer to knowing what it would be like to be at aterribly loud rock concert.
He shoved two fingers into his ears.There was both an advantage to this as well as a disadvantage, theadvantage being that he wouldn’t have to put up with Draco Malfoy’sincredibly annoying bouts of insanity and the disadvantage being thatholding up his arms that long couldn’t possibly be good for the bloodin his arms. He followed through with it nevertheless.
A muffledstring of response followed through, Harry took note of the wayMalfoy’s mouth just kept moving and how the blonde boys face hadapparently taken on a magenta colour. He also noticed that Malfoyhadn’t really understood the finger plugging act judging by the way hecontinued to rave on, occasionally whipping Harry with a bit of thewater from the intriguingly rude hand gestures. Of course, those actsdidn’t really bother him as much as the shove which sent him propellingright onto the seat of a broken toilet.
This caused the boy toremove his fingers from his ears in order to upright himself on thetoilet seat (still contaminated no doubt by its lack of use) thereforeenabling him to be subjected to the torrent of screams emitted by avery angry Malfoy.
“…and the water being SEWERAGE! SEWERAGEPotter! DID you HEAR me you ungrateful, four-eyed, piss poor excuse fora living MEMBRANE!” When the ringing in Harry’s ears had stopped, andthe wavering image (for he had clonked his head quite roughly againstthe porcelain throne) of the Slytherin had finally come into focus hesaw his opponent splashing noisily to get within ear-drum breakingrange.
What was even more surprising was the fact that no matterhow hard Malfoy stomped on the wet surface, he didn’t seem to have theunfortunate ability of slipping or losing balance at all. Figures… theguy could be an aristocrat in the fires of hell if he wanted to and notget singed, Harry thought miserably as the other boy advanced at aspeed only light would know. He didn’t fight when those slender fingersentangled themselves in the front of his robes and yanked him forward.
“…Youare paying for my dry cleaning Potter!” the grey eyes tinted withmalice as he continued, inches from Harry’s face “…and don’t think forone minute that you are going to take it to Hogwarts House-elfcleaning… You are going to be paying for shipping to clean it atHogsmede Professionals!”
In the time that Malfoy had recited theplace and duties, Harry had been able to count the number of freckleson the blonde’s otherwise flawless face. There were five in totalthough very inconspicuous even at such a close proximity, heconcentrated on the breathing pace, if it slowed then there was a goodchance he would be released from this vice grip. It loosenedconsiderably when he failed to produce an audible reply.
“…so strip now”
Nowthat definitely got Harry’s attention, his eyes shot up unaware of hislopsided glasses (mainly due to the rough man-handling but also due tothe contribution of sweat formulating on his face)
“Excuse meMalfoy? I could have sworn you just told me to strip” the grip was goneand Harry held onto the frame of the cubicle to reduce the risk ofslipping. The blonde’s eyebrow quirked at this response.
“Myrobes are wet and I need replacements NOW before this contaminatedwater gets to my skin and makes me a mudblood…” He replied scathingly“and seeing as you are the only one barely within the range of sportingappropriate garments, not to mention the one RESPONSIBLE for this” heplucked at the soggy robes around his neck “I propose you strip rightNOW”
Harry was gob smacked at Malfoy’s audacity, it wasn’t untilthe blonde boy started towards him that he snapped out of his reverie.“No way Malfoy, if you didn’t just keep your bloody mouth shut then youwouldn’t have landed yourself in this situation! Which by the way, youstill have yet to explain” He dodged the clasping hands, looking waytoo much like claws for his liking, and proceeded as fast as he couldtowards the other side of the bathroom.
Draco’s increasingly evileyes followed him across the perimeter of the bathroom “Look Potter,I’ll tell you this once, you are going to strip yourself of those robesor I will do it for you!” and with that, it was as if he had managed toapparate in that short distance to grab at the black haired boy’sclothes.
“GET LOST MALFOY” Harry attempted to pry thosearticulate fingers from his robes but the blonde seemed to have arather firm grip on the fabric. Their little tussle managed to sendthem toppling over into the miniature lake that was the bathroom floor.The splash they made was enough to render them both into shock.
“Itake it that we are even now?” Harry piped up from his sprawledposition on the soppy ground, the water seeping uncomfortably cold intothe back of his robes. He was well aware of the blonde forehead pressedagainst his chin and how Malfoy’s wet robes succeeded in drenching hisfront as well. The malicious grey eyes lifted to meet with blinkinggreen ones.
“Far from it Potter” Draco wrenched himself from theGryffindor’s body and gave it a good thumping with his shoe clad footbefore waiting for the other boy to stop wincing. He glared almostbarbarically as Harry clambered to his feet. “Now Potter, I’m going tostay on the left side of this bloody toilet and you will stay on thebloody right… we are not to talk to each other for fear of me yankingout your intestines and making myself a little wreath of it, GOT THAT?”and without even waiting for a response Draco sat his pert butt on thesink, pointing an aristocratic finger to the right side of the room.
Harrystood there gaping at the blonde’s dramatic performance, what the hellwas the matter with him anyway? He trudged silently to the other sideof the room not even bothering to attempt speech due to the way Malfoywas now poking his pointy nose in the mirror. He leaned against thestone wall and crossed his arms, clearly annoyed that he would have tospend the night here, wet, and well… stuck with Malfoy of all people.
//Atleast he’s pretty enough to look at… too bad he’s the biggest bloodyjerk in Hogwarts// Harry grumbled bitterly and glared at the blondeboy, whose head shot up at the sound and eyes narrowed dangerously.//I’m not talking am I? Maybe I could have a little fun here//
TheGryffindor started stepping up and down in the water, apparently tryingto get the circulation going in his leg and successfully annoying DracoMalfoy with the incessant splashing. He yawned as overly as he couldstretching his hands out and pretending to scrape them against the wallwhile exclaiming in a loud, slightly dramatic voice ‘Ow.. Damn walls’
Hecould just barely see the twitch in the Slytherin’s eyebrow and it wasas if he had a vein protruding in his neck due to the annoyance. Itwould have been more amusing if the vein was popping up on his foreheadlike a lightning bolt but Harry knew it was too much to wish for. Hegrinned to himself and shoved his hands in his pockets and started towhistle the annoying but catchy tune of ‘Double Trouble’. If he wasgoing to be in hell, he was going to take Draco Malfoy with him.
WhatHarry didn’t know (or chose to ignore) was that Draco was already inhell, his hair was a mess, he didn’t have a wand on him to cast adrying charm, his expensive tailored robes were ruined and to top itall off, Harry effing Potter was here humming or whistling a stupidtune that was etching its way into his already wracked brain, nevermind that it was a stupid tune as well.. Draco would have been able totake it but Potter just HAD to make it off tune, or maybe theGryffindor was just mentally impaired. It would just NOT do… but Malfoyego would win out as per usual because Draco wouldn’t break… he knew hewouldn’t break…
Harry was enjoying this way too much, he leanedagainst the wall and with his eyes closed whistling as loud as hecould, and as off tune as he possibly could that it actually started togive him a bit of a headache.
Thankfully enough for Draco, it wascured with a big ball of toilet watered tissue paper thrownstrategically at his forehead, perhaps the Slytherin was aiming for hisscar and Harry had to admit that it was a bullseye shot. Too bad hecouldn’t appreciate it to its full potential due to his complete shockat the thought of Malfoy touching the offending object.
“Potter, that was a warning, the next one won’t come so nicely… you don’t want to know what happens when I‘m THIS stressed”
Harryspluttered, unable to come up with a response yet again for the thirdand thousandth time that night. And he still hadn’t found out why DracoMalfoy was in Moaning Myrtles bathroom…
Finally regaining whatwas left of his dignity he ran his fingers through his even messierhair and said loudly “Well I can understand why you would be stressedseeing as your girlfriend didn’t even have the audacity to show up, andI thought you would have been used to the cold, wet floor alreadyconsidering the fact that you came here to bugger a ghost”
“Ohand you are one to talk, Mr-I-can’t-keep-my-cock-in-my-pants, I supposeyour reason for entering a girls toilet, let alone a GHOST’S toilet isbased purely on research purposes? I think not, don’t go assuming suchatrocities if you are a factor in the situation. Think about it Potter,or is that half-witted brain of yours too waterlogged with girls pissto digest this information?” Draco hardly realised he was standing upand storming his way over to the Gryffindor who had thought the samething, they met in the middle chest bumping against one another puffingthemselves up to see who the victor would be.
“Fuck you Malfoy,who was the one claiming he needed robe replacements from a store wayout of your league. No one that gay would be here hoping for a shagunless it was so good it was dead” Harry shoved the blonde back by andalmost slipped as Malfoy’s hands clutched painfully at his hips toprevent himself from tumbling backwards. His grey eyes drew to slits,lips pursed and his fingernails dug into his hips roughly enough tocause a new set of gills.
“You talk as if being gay is a crimePotter, I’m frankly surprised you haven’t figured out your ownsexuality considering that you find the song ‘Double Trouble’ a toplist to hum,whistle or what not… don’t think I didn’t see your name onthe choir list you pansy pouf” Malfoy’s nails felt as if they hadpermanently found their home, and Harry was well aware of the fact thatthe boy wasn’t about to let go voluntarily. Besides, Malfoy hadn’tfinished his tirade “and don’t you go denying the homosexuality factor,I SAW you berating that elf in the kitchen asking for fat free productsfor breakfast, lunch and dinner”
“Okay now NOONE was supposed toknow that” Harry said loudly over Malfoy’s protesting nature “Besides,I saw YOU doing the SAME thing afterwards”
A sigh followed andthe blonde finally let go of Harry’s arms to run his fingers throughhis own dirty, blonde locks. As fast as lightning right after thathowever, he slammed a balled fist into the brunettes stomach makingHarry crumple to the puddle floor.
“What the fuck Malfoy!?” hewheezed clutching his stomach, looking up with his glasses hanging offthe side of his face. Malfoy’s triumphant grin stared down at him.
“To make myself feel better” He turned on his heel and began walking away. Harry saw red.
Whatmade him do what he did next was basically pure impulse, though hewould have to consider a better approach if there was another time. Helurched forward and attached his teeth to the blonde’s calf.
Malfoyscreamed bloody murder, trying to kick Harry off his limb but onlysucceeding in slipping on the tiles and landing with a splash on hiselegant bottom “Potter you flipping animal! What the HELL is the matterwith you?”
He grappled at the Gryffindor’s messy hair; grippingonto it and attempting to yank it off or at least pull the boy off hispossibly bleeding leg. “I’m gonna need fucking stitches on my flawlessskin you wanker!”
Harry’s ears rang slightly at the pain ofMalfoy yanking on his hair as if it were a yo-yo. He let go of the legand clambered on top of the blonde before reattaching his teeth ontothe boy’s nearest body part… his shoulder.
Now if Harry knew thiswould cause a sexual reaction out of the blonde, he wouldn’t have doneit, but what was running through his mind at that current moment was tocause as much pain and damage to the Slytherin as possible. What hedidn’t expect was to have the boy gasp loudly and jut his hips forwardrubbing against his thankfully un-aroused state.
But for somereason, Harry being Harry, kept biting down, unaware of the ‘growing’nature of Malfoy. It was until Malfoy’s hands crept up and wrappedthemselves around his neck that he wondered if he was doing it right…
He let go of the boys neck and looked down incredulously into the grey eyes of Draco Malfoy.
“Wha…”
“YOU started IT” Malfoy shot back before Harry could form a grammatically correct sentence.
“Well,Well, Well… what have we here” the simpering voice made both boys turnsimultaneously, there, floating above one of the cubicles was MoaningMyrtle and to their disgust, she was blushing silver. “Two little boysgetting it on in MY bathroom…”
“Oh don’t mind me… after all thisIS my dwelling, I should have every right to view whatever show youhave going on” she giggled before floating closer “Pray tell me why youboys have come at such an ungodly hour”
Harry dragged himself offthe blonde, adjusting his glasses quickly and straightening out hisrobes “Myrtle, tell me how to get the hell out of here… since when didthe toilets lock at night?” the ghost looked at him as if he were anidiot before cackling gleefully.
“Oh Harry, the toilets lock fortwo hours after midnight… usually the more raunchy students know thisand spend their nights shagging without the fear of being caught” sheshot him and Draco a bemused look “I thought you of all people wouldknow that”
He blinked back at her “What…?”
She ignored his enquiry “So Harry… if you weren’t here to get it on… then why were you here so late at night hmm?”
“YesPotter, I would like to know that as well” Malfoy had finally pickedhimself off the floor and was crossing his arms leaning against thewall once more, concealing his erection with the wet robes effectivelyenough. Though the raised eyebrow and mocking look from Myrtle made himglare back at her.
“Hermione told me I dropped something alongthese corridors and I came back to find it, but then I heard YOUsplashing about in the toilets. I should be asking YOU the samequestion” Harry said with his hands planted firmly on his hips.
“Well‘I’ had an unfortunate incident of Pansy hiding my nail polish removerand she told me to look for it… here” the idea of the two girls finallywarped into their minds.
“I’m going…” Harry said slowly
“…to kill her” Malfoy finished angrily.
Myrtlestarted to laugh uncontrollably and both boys edged towards the exitbefore bolting out the now unlocked doors, their wet feet slappingagainst the stone.
They came to a halt at a row of armor, bothtinged pink from the escape and leaning against the walls. Draco letout one irritable puff of air before saying “Oh fuck it all” he steppedquickly in front of Harry and grabbed the boy’s robes, pulling himforward and kissing him roughly.
Harry squeaked with surprise,and felt the blonde hand guiding his own to his hips. He felt theirtongues glide past each other and lick at the lips. If there was afeeling hotter than this he was about to feel it soon, Harry lifted aleg and wrapped it around the other boy’s knees, propelling his slenderbody forward to align with his own. The wet clothes did more than justmake them cold; it clung to their bodies and gave more then enoughshape to their aroused state.
Draco had moved his mouth from theboy’s lips to his exposed neck, latching on and sucking onto the skinthere. He didn’t care that it was ground water on the neck (let aloneTOILET water) but came to the conclusion that their mouths could bebrushed out thoroughly later.
A wand light pointed in theirdirection and a cough interrupted their kissing. Severus Snape’ssnake-like eyes surveyed them coldly.
“Fifty points fromGryffindor” he hissed out before realizing Malfoy was the one Harry waskissing “… Five points from Slytherin… now GO to your dorms!”
Hetwirled on the spot and stormed off to look for more students out ofbed. Draco stared at Harry for a moment… then “I have a room all tomyself”
“Not anymore you don’t… lead the way”
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