Original poster: sakaim Title: Ambivalent Lucidity Rating: Currently R Pairings: Harry/Draco Summary:When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placedunder the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter. Warnings:(Future) Violence, rape, character death, mental illnesses(Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress, ParanoidSchizophrenia), slash, Pre-HBP Over the next few weeks, Harry was immensely pleased to receive twomore names from Draco’s personalities: one, Elladora, was an immenselyangry woman who would not allow Harry near her for the three full daysshe had full control of Draco’s body. “You’re a filthy blood traitor!”she would hiss at him, and she would lash out at Harry with fiercefists. “And your mother was a disgusting Mudblood! You deserve nobetter than a long, painful death!” Harry wrenched her name out of her,slapping her hard across the face and dragging her across the room byher hair when she attempted to tackle him. “Elladora!” she hadscreamed, “Elladora, goddamnit!” When Draco’s body slumped in Harry’sbear-trap grip, Harry dropped to his knees and helped his lover sit up,only to find that he was looking at another one of Draco’spersonalities instead of his boyfriend.
“You got rid of mysister,” she whispered, and she reached up to cup Harry’s cheek with ashaking hand. “You’re a good man, Mister Potter. I would have liked tohave known you longer...” She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to hischeek, for which Harry inexplicably found himself feeling lightlyguilty. The word “Isla” was breathed against his skin, and Harryshivered lightly before pulling away from her to find Draco, shakingand upset, lying in his arms.
“They’re...They’re all my...Ididn’t think...” Draco stammered unintelligibly before he curledagainst Harry and promptly fell unconscious.
Harry’s eyeswidened slightly, and he lifted the lithe form of his boyfriend’s bodyinto his arms. They needed to see Madam Pomfrey, he decided, as well asDumbledore. With three personalities gone already, he thought Dracomight like to speak to the Headmaster and, if possible, the loathsomePotions master.
Poppy greeted the boys with a sad smile, and sheassisted Harry in lying Draco’s prone body on the closest hospital bed.“Three personalities are gone,” Harry said with a smile, and he grinnedas the nurse clapped him on the back. “Isla, Elladora, and Abraxas weretheir names. I don’t know how many are left, though...”
“Isla,Elladora, and Abraxas–Potter, you own the home you do and don’t knowthose names? You’re thicker than I thought.” The patronising voice fromthe doorway belonged to Severus Snape, who had seen Harry carry hisgodson into the infirmary and followed them in. “You DO know who theyare, don’t you Potter?” He crossed his arms and leaned up against thedoorframe as Pomfrey did a basic checkup on the unconscious Draco, andHarry glared at him.
“No idea, actually. Why don’t you enlightenme?” he asked with a bit of a sneer, and he took a defensive stepbackward as Snape pushed himself off the flat plane of the wall. “It’snot like I visit often or anything...I haven’t been there since fifthyear.” Harry had no idea why he was suddenly on the defensive, but heforgot it as Snape pulled out a scrap of parchment and borrowed a quillfrom Pomfrey. There were a few moments of scribbling, and Harry blinkedas Severus suddenly thrust the paper to him.
It was a familytree. Leading up from Draco’s name were Lucius’s and Narcissa’s names,connected to familiar names such as Bellatrix Lestrange. As Harry’seyes trailed up the tree, he blinked as he came across the three namesof the personalities that has assimilated with Draco, and he looked upto Severus. “Er...What does this mean?” he asked, a frown lineappearing between his eyebrows.
“It could mean any number ofthings, Mister Potter, but I think we can be fairly sure that therewas, perhaps, a misdiagnosis. Either that, or we have ourselves onehell of a coincidence.” Severus gave a long pause at that moment as hethought quietly to himself, and as an idea came to him, he did notspeak a word before turning on his heel and taking his leave of theHospital Wing.
Harry fought the urge to poke his tongue out atthe professor’s back, and instead he turned back to face Draco, who wassnoring very softly. “He seems as though he’s had it rough for a fewdays,” Madam Pomfrey claimed, and Harry nodded. Draco had not slept atall in the three days that Elladora had control of his body, and soHarry imagined he was quite exhausted. He took the three steps betweenhimself and Draco’s bed, where he sat down on the stool placed by thebedside and smiled to himself as he reached out to push a few straylocks of hair away from Draco’s sweaty forehead. “Harry, you and MisterMalfoy...I don’t normally meddle in student affairs, but I must saythat I’m surprised...”
Harry felt himself blushing–none of theother adults in the school had really questioned it, though he saw theinquiry burning in Snape’s eyes–and he gave a little shrug. “I figureit’s...only natural. We’ve been in close contact for a long while now,and he needs me. I think that, after a while, I guess I kind of neededhim, too,” he admitted shyly, and he was pleased that the nurse did notmake a face or shake her head. Instead, she lay her hand on Harry’sshoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Well, that’s fine, Harry,” shesaid with a smile, and then Harry caught the light blush that formed onher cheeks, and he chewed nervously on the corner of his mouth when shemoved quickly to a filing cabinet and returned holding a pamphlet.Harry had the distinct feeling that he wanted nothing to do with it,but then it was in his hands, and he wanted to die. “Safe sex, MisterPotter, is the key to any successful relationship. You may think thatbecause you’re both male that the risks are lower, but you would beincorrect in assuming–”
“I’ll read it, thanks,” Harry whispered,mortified, and he folded it up before shoving it in the inside pocketof his robes. He would be certain to throw it out later, if only forthe fact that Draco or, worse, Ron would find it if he did not. Hefound himself quite unable to look the nurse in the eyes anymore, andhe compensated by running cool fingertips over the gentle slope ofDraco’s pale cheek. “Can I take him back? I just wanted you to have alook at him...He could probably use a few Sleeping Potions, though, ifyou could spare some.”
Madam Pomfrey frowned and shook her head.“Sleeping Potions can be addictive, Harry, so I’m afraid he will haveto sleep naturally for a while. Natural sleep is better for him anyway,so why don’t you take him back to your room and then go have dinnerwith Mister Weasley? We’ve all noticed that you’ve been neglecting yourfriends a bit, Harry, and that’s unhealthy...” Ronald Weasley had beenin to see her several times that month, asking about how Draco wasdoing, and she knew it was only because he wanted news about Harry. Shefelt badly for him, and she promised on every occasion to send Harryhis way next time she saw him.
Harry looked down for a momentthen nodded. “Good idea. Could I leave him here so I don’t have tocarry him all the way up there then have to come back down?” he asked,and when she nodded and waved him away, she smiled and drew thecurtains around Draco’s bed for privacy.
“Harry, hi!”Hermione called when he came into the Great Hall, and she moved sothere was room between her and Ron, who was staring silently at Harrywith a mild expression of surprise. Harry looked thin, and he suspectedit was because he missed so many meals caring for Draco. Everyone heardhe and Draco fighting over the past few days, and so when Harry ploppeddown between he and Hermione, he flung an arm around his best friend’sshoulder and grinned at him.
“Hi, Ron,” Harry said quietly, andhe shot him a tired grin before he began pulling everything in sightfrom the middle of the table. “My God, food...” He was ravenous, andthe turkey he shoved into his mouth tasted like nothing he had evereaten. “Draco’s showing real progress...I got rid of two personalitiesthis morning! It’s hard work, let me tell you...” He was very excited,and it showed, and Ron squeezed his shoulders with his arm.
“That’sfantastic, Harry!” Hermione exclaimed, and she poured him a glass ofpumpkin juice before fixing a stray lock of his hair. “There we are.So, we were wondering, Harry, what your plans are for Christmas? Willyou come to the Burrow with us?” There was no point beating around thebush, and she knew Ron would never pluck up the courage to ask. Harrynodded and grinned at her through his mouthful of mashed potatoes, andshe laughed, taking his arm. “Wonderful. Molly will be so happy! She’sbeen pestering me to invite you and Draco for three weeks. I didn’tever think I’d see her so excited about getting to meet a Malfoypersonally, but she seems very enthusiastic about you helping him.”
Harrypaused and looked at Ron, who had a very strange look on his freckledface, and he cleared his throat. “Er, does she know about me and–”
“Definitelynot,” Ron interjected, the tips of his ears turning pink, and Harryfound the image so amusing that he burst right out laughing and took adeep, happy sigh. He had missed his friends more than even he knew.“What’s so funny?” Ron seemed a bit miffed, and so Harry punched himamicably in the arm.
“You can get that look off your face, Ron.You seem to think that all I do is shag him...We’ve hardly kissed,really. I’m paranoid about kissing him, because any time I do, it seemsthat he turns into someone else. It’s very...” He trailed off and shookhis head, the smile melting right off his face. “I’m very frustratedsometimes, and I know he is, too. It’s hard, going to sleep right nextto him and hardly pecking him the cheek goodnight because I don’t trustmyself otherwise...”
Hermione’s eyes widened a little, and shefound that her cheeks were burning bright red. “I didn’t know you sleptin the same bed,” she claimed, her voice slightly higher than normal,and she shot Ron a look. “I don’t know if Molly will allow it. Besides–”
“You’llbe sharing a room with me!” Ron exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face.“Don’t be making out with Malfoy with me in the room. Promise methat...” The thought of Harry even kissing Malfoy at all made Ron wantto hurl, but the fact that he could possibly be in the room when ithappened...It was just intolerable. When Harry burst out laughingagain, Ron huffed indignantly and turned his nose up a little.
“Don’tworry,” Harry giggled, quite unable to contain himself. “I think Dracowill be so off-put by staying in the Burrow that he will likely beunable to find the energy to kiss me for the entire Christmas break.And if he does...strictly above the waist, Ron. On my honour!” Harrythought Ron would throw up, and he snorted into his spotted dick beforehe gave Hermione a wicked look. She giggled and reached over Harry topat Ron’s arm.
Harry had not had such a good laugh in a longtime, and it was very therapeutic. He almost wished he could forgetthat he had to pick Draco up on the way back to Gryffindor Tower, butwhen his friends helped him carry the dead-weight blonde up the stairs,he did not feel so terrible. Ron and Hermione always made thingsbetter. When Draco was in bed, Harry did not even think about leaningdown to kiss his warm forehead, and when he raised back up, he caughtHermione beaming at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” she whispered, andshe reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand. “I’m just happy for you,Harry. I must admit, I never thought I’d see you do that to Malfoy, butit’s nice seeing you dedicated to something so thoroughly. When Ron andI got together, I know we kind of alienated you a bit.” Ron blushed alittle and suddenly found his feet immensely interesting. “We’re happyfor you. Both of us, even if Ron is a bit of a prat.”