You want me to be straight. I will. You Are An Idiot. And for once, I have the right to say that.
The ones who enter my life are welcomed to be themselves and in return deserve what they are given. I don't judge how you enter; fumble, stumble, roll, slide, ride an autobot- I don't care. What I care about- everyone should care about is how you treat yourself.
I'm jealous. I really am. I really am jealous that I can't hurt. I can't use. I can't take the best of you and slowly break it to pieces. I can't look in the mirror each day and stare at myself thinking who is the next person I get to ruin. I know, the world isn't perfect. That's no fun right? But there's a line some where. Some of us cross it and some of us just stare at it not knowing what to do. And that's fine. It's alright. It's okay. It really is. what I don't like, I don't get, I don't understand- what did I do? Why get me involved- I know why. I know why because its fun. Its some how amusing to watch and point whats broken on the floor. Its too much energy to hate others. I just can't do it. Its so easy to hate though. But having a big heart is also too much. There's a lot of anger and hostility here and there and you know what I do? I whore out my smile. A corny joke. Something that gives you a second to actually escape all that misery, just for a second to feel good. I guess whore isn't the right word. But it was a good enough distraction.
So I'm steady knockin, climbing over the walls with a little struggle, and a few sorrys don't fix a broken door knob. But its the effort I can value. I'm letting my place air out the hostility. I'll be at Inspector Gadget's place... until he kicks me out.