"I'm only obsessed with the snog since, you know, it broke my nose and threatened my very life!" Roger exclaimed, shaking his head despondently, "Besides, I wouldn't get smug. It was your first kiss, after all. It wasn't all that great. I just had to teach you how to kiss, and then you went off with your new found skills and used them to seduce stupid buggers who didn't get enough hugs from their mammies as a child."
Roger stuck out his tongue, as if it made a point for him.
"I only shag girls I'm going out with," Roger said pointedly, "I've got standards, thank-you-very-much."