Was she downplaying? Perhaps. Was she completely unsure of how she ought to be feeling? Definitely. Cassandra had always thought that if she ever saw Jack again that she'd have the simple emotion of hate flowing through her veins. She also thought it would be years down the road and if anything she'd be a much stronger person, much farther removed from the haunting of her past. Neither of those things were the case when it happened though. At first she'd been too surprised by the sight of him in the one place she thought she'd never see him again.
But there he was, like it was nothing. Merely doing his job, checking books in and checking books out. It was that... normalcy to it that had bothered Cassandra the most. A personal nightmare that appeared to be just the opposite.
And then there had been his words. She wished she could have plugged her ears and ignored it all. But she hadn't and she couldn't. While there was a part of her that only wanted to hate him forever there was another part of her that wanted to know why more. Why was proving to be more convoluted though. Had he really been trying to do right for her? That just couldn't... it didn't mesh with her memories of her life. Made her question far too many things and ultimately reminded her of the blame that went hand in hand with her past. If she'd been smarter about it all, if she'd... just done something differently and now if she had just seen what he said he was trying to do... maybe it would have all been better. It was all rather silly considering the past was the past and couldn't be undone she was just tired of it effecting the future so much.
Cassandra had holed herself up in her room after she'd made her escape from the library. Closing the window shut tight and triple checking that her door was locked. She'd subsisted off the stash of food she always kept in her room but it was getting low and she knew that sitting on her bed for 24 straight hours was a bit ridiculous, she just couldn't get herself to step outside just yet. It was almost funny how she trapped herself as much as Jack had trapped her all those years. Well perhas ironic... not funny.
Max was on his way over and in preparation she'd managed to throw away the ziplock back that had held some banana brea and somewhat unrumple her comforter. Her clothes remained the same, soft blue pajama pants paired with a white sweatshirt. The room was a little too warm for that much clothing but she just felt the need to be covered, like it added some invisible layer of protection. Anything to feel safe. At the sound of a knock on the door, Cassandra pushed up from her spot on the bed and unlocked the door, letting him inside. Her mouth had been open to ask him if it had been alright getting over there, aka she hoped he hadn't got into trouble but the look of concern on his face followed promptly by his question stopped her.
She blinked for a moment, clasping her hands together tightly, knuckles standing out white. "It's..." She crosesd back over the room and returned to her spot on the bed, knees drawn up to her chest. "It's complicated. So I'm sorry if it takes a while to get out." She began. "Sit down, please. The bed's fine or the chair if you want." but truthfully she already felt safer with someone else in the room. Well maybe it was because that someone was Max. "I just need a second." her heart was still pounding over the surprise of the knock at the door. She had known he was coming but to say her nerves were on high alert was something of an understatement. "Tell me something about your day." She couldn't help but ask that, something about his voice calmed her.