It was good that she hadn't pushed it. She didn't want to hear any more bad things about either of them. It wasn't that she had put an extremly large amout of faith in them, but she was tired of hearing it. Why did they have to be bad people? Why couldn't they just be good people that wanted her? Why did they have to assume the worst in them? Maybe they knew more about them than she did, or had known them longer, but she was of the opinion tha it should be her mistake if she were making one. And she just wanted them all to leave it alone.
She might have been okay had it not been for that last sentence. But everyone had a breaking point. And a little bit more about what had happened in the not so distance past came back to the forefront of her mind. "I just don't understand it." She pulled her knees up to her chest then, arms wrapping around them. "What did I do that was so bad? What did I say? I was only trying to take care of him and he got so angry. And he screamed and screamed and.. I just don't understand what I did wrong?"
But it was her fault, or so he had been told. He always blamed it on her when it was happening and then, after it was over, he would encourage her not to push him to that point again, yet again placing the monkey on her back. And since then she had gone over it again and again and again inside her head and she just couldn't figure it out, couldn't make sense of it.
"I just.. I wish that I knew where he was. I wish that I knew where he was and that I could stand up to him, I could ask him what I did, could tell him that I don't think that I did anything wrong!"