James (jamesownsit) wrote in halcyon_houses, @ 2008-07-17 17:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | james, natalia |
Week Fourteen: Tuesday
Who: James and Natalia
When: Tuesday Evening
Where: Natalia's room
What: James decides that it's time to man up and face things instead of being off in hiding and avoiding the demons from his past at all cost, no pun intended.
James had been thinking about this for a while now, probably due mostly to time spent with Cassandra. She was such a sweet girl in spite of the trouble behind her eyes and even though she had never come out and said anything about this situation, as he hadn't ever really talked to her about it, he could guess what her take on it would have been. Make amends, as best as you could, and go from there. The main problem was that he had no idea how to even begin it and every time he thought about trying, he drew a blank.
And that, along with residual feelings, was the reason why he had shut down every effort, though they were limited, that she had made. But was she even the one that should be making an effort to begin with? That was the question really, wasn't it? And he had to admit that if he were honest with himself, that the answer to that question was no. What she had done, although hurtful, had been the right thing to do all things considered. And if anyone were in the wrong, it was essentially him, regardless of everything else that he had been told, that he believed.
It was all of those thoughts, all of those conversations with himself inside of his head, that had brought him here today. It was late, and he had been waiting for a while, sitting on the hard wood floor outside of her door. He wasn't sure when she would show up. He wasn't even sure that she would be alone. But he hoped that she would be, otherwise he'd look like a complete and utter fool rather than just a small bit of one. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Another hour, and he would give up and try again some other time.