What she wanted, truly wanted, Cassius could not claim to know. He could push into her thoughts, dig around in her skull. He could seek to find every hint or clue within her memory. But that wasn't ever how he wished to be with her. More then that it was not a task he took lightly. Especially in the state that he was in. the mind was a delicate thing at times, far more then most realized. Walls were all tied together, pushing one made them all tip. He held too much care, too much respect, for her to test those limits.
No matter all that was all too apparent between them...Cassius could not think her the enemy that he likely should. That, he knew, would be his undoing. He could not separate himself from her. Could not stay so cold, to act as though she meant nothing. There was pain because of what was lost, there had always been. Leaving as he had...was no easy choice.
But it was one he made. Wrong or right...the steps could not be undone. Nor all the ones following them.
Two separate lives now. Two lives so very different. Yes he saw the past as a beast that could tear this world he’d created apart. The man he’d once been was different then the man he now was. So who was he truly? Which would remain in the end when all came crumbling down?
Not even Cassius seemed to know the answer to that anymore. A mystery, an unknown that plagued him at every moment of everyday.
This….was not how he wished to be. Never had he sought to feel as though there were two halves to him rather then one.
She followed, as he knew she would, the faint light that the open door had cast finally being removed. The darkness Cassius welcomed, like a breath unneeded. The aching to his skull did not cease at her presence but only seemed to increase as he sought to keep some distance, some wall between them so they did not crash against each other.
Even if perhaps that is what she sought.
Closed eyes opened at that touch, a gaze that caught her own as she leaned in so close. Near enough that he could breathe her in. So close that if he just tipped his head slightly her lips would brush skin. But he did not broach that ghost of distance between them. "You know I always do..." he returned, his voice a whisper to the air. Yet to his senses it sounded nearly like a shout.