Kiernan Gallagher (grumpypants) wrote in halcyon_halls, @ 2008-02-10 23:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | kiernan |
Weel Three: Saturday Night
Who: Kiernan and (Narrative or open - Rose want to get dirt on him? Heh)
Where: City (NOT Heaven and Hell)
When: Saturday Night
There were times, more often than they had been before... where he really hated himself. Hated that he was losing everything that had defined him slowly but surely. He was damn certain that the fucker who had made him what he was today was laughing his ass off because he'd won. Done everything that he'd planned to do and Kiernan just wasn't as strong as he'd always thought he was. Weak enough to fall right into a trap of his own making.
Talk enough shit and that shit was bound to come back and bite you in the ass. Almost literally... at least the bite part was.
It had been a full week since the last time he had gone into the city. In the grand scheme of things in the world it likely wasn't much. Only seven short days, seven sunrises, seven sunsets, seven long long nights with Alana sleeping peacefully while he paced the confines of their room. Paced and read and re-read the pages of the damn blood lust control book that didn't seem to do shit for him. School had always been easy for him, he'd put his nose to the grindstone so to speak and had always managed to excel in whatever it was he did. It wasn't happening quite like that anymore. He was all too distracted anymore. If it wasn't Alana it was the simple fact that he craved something he despised almost every minute of every day.
Did he talk to anyone about it? No. Kiernan had never been the sort to go to anyone else for anything. He'd grown up on his own and the mindset that anything else was going to see him through his days was next to impossible to change. Stubborn, yes. Stupid, yes. But at least that part of him hadn't changed. It was about the only thing.
It was late, later than he should be out. He knew that Alana's babysitter wouldn't necessarily be glad to be working late on a Saturday night. But she was kind and had taken pity on the fact that he was a single father and didn't complain too often. He almost wished she did, then perhaps the guilt of that would have had him stalking his way back up to the castle rather than making his way to the back of a bar that he would have hated to be in under any other circumstances... only now he hated it and wanted it all at the same time.
She was in the back waiting for him, a smile on her face. She looked achingly like Vivian but Kiernan did his best to forget that fact entirely. Instead he moved his way around the tables all too familiarly. Bills were slipped easily from the pocket of his black slacks and slid across the table toward her waiting hand. She knew he'd be back, it almost amused her that he fought it. It was so clear in his eyes how very much he didn't want to be here but just as clear how much he couldn't control the fact that he was. Those men that valued control were always the most entertaining to watch come back again and again. The money was placed in her cleavage, the bra she wore holding it securely as she stood up and crooked a finger at Keirnan beckoning him farther back into the bar.
He knew exactly where they were headed. It was what he'd been trying to avoid about the city for the entire length of the week. The fight he'd lost. He was truly the hypocrite he was accused of being all the time now and how he hated himself for it. But... one foot in front of the other and he couldn't seem to stop himself. Hate wasn't as powerful as he'd thought it was...