"It's certainly possible. But then it will swing back, too." Sydni was undeterred. There was little Mircea could say or do to change her optimistic outlook. Things would turn out well in the end. Even if there were negative moments, things would be ok overall. Startled at his serious expression, she decided instead to tackle the meaning of the phrase she'd chosen. It was less personal. "No... The phrase means you'll make the write decisions in the end. You don't need outside rules to tell you what to do - you have your own moral compass. At least, that's what Rabelais was trying to say." See, it wasn't against the meaning to hold yourself back. The point was that no established set of rules were necessary to dictate right and wrong.
"No, I mean, the physical stuff, yeah. I'm just not.." Sighing, Sydni fiddled with a design in the sand. She hated conversations that were so heady - when they focused on her. Heady on general terms, no problem. "Why should I?" she said fiercely, turning her gaze on him. The rage she kept hidden most of the time was apparent in her eyes. "I didn't choose this, didn't ask for it. It's fucked with my life royally. If it had been different, maybe I'd have reason to be proud." No one could tell her how to feel or think. Sighing heavily, she tried to amend her harsh tones. "I'm sorry. I just don't get why everyone seems to think it's so wonderful. It doesn't suck so much to be human. At least I didn't think so," she mumbled in conclusion.
Surprised at his tone, Sydni looked up at him sharply. "It's a disease. It's transmitted by bodily fluids. Of course it's genetics. That doesn't change the strength I had to begin with," she finished softly. Sydni did feel sorry for herself. More like she was pissed off, actually. She seemed eternally stuck at the point where she was on the edge of losing it all. She didn't like that feeling, or that danger. And yes, she knew she was blessed. If she hadn't been bitten, she wouldn't have come here and met her friends. Just because they had left didn't mean she'd forget them. She didn't see her turning as a blessing, but she knew there were others.