Title: The Talk
Author: shellydkitty
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Sirius/Remus, Harry, mentions of Trio
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Length/Word Count: Ficlet, 363 words.
Notes: A gift drabble for quite_grey who requested Sirius/Remus, Sirius giving Harry 'The Talk.' Comments and Concrit welcome!
Disclaimer: JKR and various others own the characters. I'm just having fun.


The Talk


“We should talk,” Sirius said, folding his dinner napkin over his empty plate. Remus quietly left the kitchen as if those words were his cue to clear off, but Harry barely noticed, his attention firmly on his godfather.

Harry knew what was coming—he’d been waiting for ‘the talk’ ever since Sirius had barged in to the room that Harry shared with Ron catching them mid-snog while Hermione watched. But that event had been almost a week ago now, and Harry had dared to believe his desperate wish that Sirius had run headfirst into an immediate Obliviate had come true.

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Come now, Harry, you don’t have to be scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Harry blurted out, his reddened cheeks betraying his lie, but Sirius just laughed again and threw a book across the table.

Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Shag Your Chosen Witch or Wizard (or Both!) blinked up at Harry from the cover.

“What?” Harry whispered, peeling his eyes away from the book to look up at Sirius.

“If you have questions, let me know.” Sirius winked, and with that he slipped out of the room, leaving Harry alone with The Book.


***


“You do realise that I’ll have to have a serious talk with him now,” Remus said, folding his arms across his chest. “I can’t believe you just gave him that book.”

“Why? You don’t need it any longer.” Sirius pressed up against Remus’s arms, jutting his hips forward.

“Padfoot.”

“Moony.”

Sirius grinned.

Remus frowned, but didn’t resist as Sirius eased his arms to the side, stepping closer. “We’re in the library—”

Remus’s voice gave way as a wet tongue slid along his neck, the hard press of a palm rubbing against his groin.

Hot breath ghosted over his skin. “So?”

“Harry might come after you—” Remus managed to eek out, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth as Sirius sucked just above his collarbone, knowing each and every one of Remus’s weaknesses even after all their years apart. He bit back a moan and felt Sirius’s lips twist to a grin.

“Good. He’ll get to see a practical demonstration of number seven, then.”

--Fin--

A/N: yes, I realize there are more than 12 fail-safe ways to shag a witch or wizard (or both!) but I couldn't resist the nod to DH.







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