"So...Can I Watch?" Hermione/Luna with voyeur!Ron, NC-17 Title: So...Can I Watch? Author: kethlenda Characters/Pairings: Hermione/Luna with voyeur!Ron, implied past Hermione/Ron Rating: NC-17 Warnings: voyeurism, and more than a touch of crack Word Count: 1147 Summary: In which Hermione comes out of the closet and Ron misses the point. Author's notes: Written for the prompt "Lesbians" at daily_deviant, April 2007.
Ron knew something was wrong by the way Hermione was twisting her hands in her lap, but it still didn't prepare him for what came out of her mouth when she finally spoke.
"I think...It's not working out, Ron. Between you and me, I mean."
"What?" A sick feeling had blossomed in Ron's gut when he first saw Hermione's agitation. Now it felt like he'd consumed an entire box of Puking Pastilles, and he was pretty sure the twins hadn't been anywhere near his dinner. "But...why?"
Hermione bit her lip, and there was some more hand-wringing. "Ron...I think...Ron, I'm a lesbian."
Ron felt his jaw drop. "But that--that's brilliant!" The sick feeling vanished entirely and Ron began to wonder if Christmas had come in the middle of June without his noticing. "Can I watch?"
"You've completely missed the point," spat Hermione, rising from her chair. She didn't look back at him as she left the room.
It was a long and very crowded summer at the Burrow, and when Ron realized that Hermione really had meant to break up with him after all, living down the hall from her was not what Ron considered fun. (She was staying under the Weasleys' roof, along with Harry, Neville, and Luna. Mum was nearly insufferable, alternating between effusions of smotherly love and panic over the dangers inherent in hunting Horcruxes.) It took almost a month before Ron could meet Hermione's eyes without wanting to punch something. Harry bitched constantly about how Ron's "mooning" was interfering with their strategy meetings, but it wasn't like Harry was much better, staring at Ginny whenever he thought Ron wasn't looking.
When Ron finally came to terms with the breakup, the sharp pain becoming more of a dull sort of ache, other thoughts began to eclipse the ones involving putting his fist through the window. Hermione, a lesbian. Hermione with girls? Had she...had she tried anything with girls? Surely she must have done. But who?
Ron's daydreams were a roiling riot of female flesh. He tossed off every night, trying to remember to be careful about making noise now that there was someone in the next bedroom again. Oh, and sometimes in the middle of the day, too. Hermione with Lavender. Hermione with Fleur. Hermione with every girl Ron could think of off the top of his head.
Then came a night when Hermione reached over and grabbed hold of Luna's hand at the dinner table. It was a casual sort of hand-holding, the kind that meant they'd been holding hands--and probably more--for quite some time.
So it's Luna, is it?
Ron gulped. "Er, may I be excused?"
Mum frowned. "Of course. Are you all right?"
"Quite," said Ron, heading off to the loo for a quick wank.
The following night he borrowed Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Perhaps "stole" was a better word for it. Ron debated in his mind whether it was really stealing if you meant to put it back right after you were done. He tiptoed into Hermione's bedroom, sat down on the floor in one corner of the room, and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And then they came in. Giggling. Hermione's arm was around Luna's waist. Ron felt a twinge of jealousy rising to mingle with his curiosity. Curiosity won, though, when Hermione closed the door behind them and gave Luna a long, deep kiss.
From beneath his mantle of invisibility, Ron grinned.
He grinned wider as Luna tugged Hermione over to the bed. Luna kissed Hermione again as she pulled her into the nest of covers. Then Luna was touching Hermione's breasts through her thin T-shirt oh yes, Merlin, keep right on doing that and when Hermione moaned softly, Ron knew she was thinking the same thing he was.
Hermione tugged Luna's T-shirt off over her head, and Ron stared. Luna wasn't wearing a bra. Luna's breasts were smaller than Hermione's, and her nipples were pink rather than brown, and oh God, Hermione was sucking on them.
Ron's jeans were getting decidedly uncomfortable. He pressed on his cock with the heel of his hand, hoping to ease up the pressure a bit, but found that the stimulation was only making things worse. He thought about just unzipping his pants and having a wank. Then he thought better of it. Might make noise. Hermione would kill me. You can do that later, Weasley.
When he turned his attention back to the girls, Hermione's shirt and bra were off too, and guh, the image of her familiar breasts pressed up against Luna's was just...God. Bloody buggering amazing.
Luna pressed Hermione down to the mattress and began to unbutton Hermione's jeans, her mouth working at Hermione's nipple while her hands worked the fastenings. Ron had pictured this lots of times in his fantasies but it was better, much better, seeing it in real life. He decided he could be quite and not get caught. The sound of Hermione's zip coming undone made a perfect cover for the sound of Ron undoing his own jeans. He shimmied his jeans and his underpants down a little to give himself room, then bit his lip to suppress a sigh of relief as his hand finally, thank God, touched the heated length of his cock.
Luna chuckled low in her throat as she tossed Hermione's clothes off the side of the bed and pushed a thumb into Hermione's curls. Hermione moaned again, and Ron fisted his cock harder, unable to take his eyes off the sight of Hermione's cunt (which he'd seen before but somehow seemed more fascinating now that he wasn't supposed to be seeing it anymore) and Luna's fingers wet with Hermione's juices.
Luna slipped her fingers down lower, slipping two of them inside Hermione, and lowered her head to press her lips against Hermione's clit.
And glanced into the corner of the room as she shifted position.
"Hermione, love? There's a disembodied penis in the corner."
Fuck. The cloak must have slipped open... Ron scrambled to hide himself, but his sudden motion just made the cloak gape wider to reveal his naked thighs and his pants around his calves. And Hermione was sitting up. And Hermione was Not Pleased.
"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY. PUT YOUR JUNK AWAY AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM. NOW."
"But I don't mind having a disembodied penis in the room..."
"I. DO."
A moment later, Ron was out in the hall, the door slammed unceremoniously shut behind him. However, Ron was a very good chess player, and very good chess players never do anything without having a Plan B.
He slipped the Extendable Ear out of his pocket and snaked the narrow pink tip of it under Hermione's door...