Reflective: Have I lost my meaning? Date: June 11, 2001 Characters: Oliver Wood Location: his place Public/Private: Private Summary: Oliver is at home and thinking. Status: Complete
Oliver shut the door as Sam left, leaning his head on the newly closed door with a sigh. He was always disappointed when Sam left at the end of the night. They were together, but he wanted Sam completely in some ways sometimes. He wanted to fall asleep with Sam at night, holding him, and wake up with Sam with the morning. It was a bit too romantic for him to even admit to Sam himself. Not to mention, he didn't want to pressure Sam. In a strange way, they'd picked up right where they left off and better for it. They were honest. They were close. There was certainly no problems in the bedroom, not that had ever been a problem to begin with. They both knew it. They'd always had chemistry, attraction, desire for each other. It was something he appreciated. In fact, it was something he needed. He wasn't sure he was ever willing to give up so much for one person as he was with Sam.
Come August 21st, he'd be unemployed and a free agent. In a way, he'd have nothing to tether himself to the magical world after that other than who he was. He wasn't sure it'd be worth searching out some other job in the magical world that would never be good enough for him, that would never be Quidditch again. Maybe he should just go into the muggle world. He could find a job there. He probably had more friends and positive connections in the muggle world than the magical world now. It might even be easier on him to just seek a muggle job, a muggle life. He didn't want to denounce who he was, but maybe in the end, it would even be better for him and Sam to be together. Sam didn't like the fact he was a wizard anyway.
If it all came down to it, would he choose Sam or who he was?
He'd chose Sam. The idea terrified him.
Walking back to his bedroom, he flopped down on his bed, closing his eyes and trying not to think about it anymore tonight.