InsaneJournal

[Warded to Chloe Shepherd]

A helpful guide for Gooseberry Prefects

Head Boy and Girl: Maggie (Ebonhide) and Cecil (Azurcrest)

Cecil is a fucking marshmallow who looks like a kicked puppy whenever he actually has to punish anybody. He looks even worse when he's disappointed. That alone works pretty well to keep people in line. Cecil attends grotto parties, but never gets drunk because fun is sinful. He does his best not to fuck you up over literally anything. Maggie is a fucking force to be reckoned with. You can feel the strong arm of her law from across a room. Which usually works well in keeping people in line. Because I feel like she can fuck me up if I push her too hard.

Rafael Ramirez (Coppertale):

I live with this fool. Rafael has a complex that forces him to be the bad guy so nobody else has to be. He will shoulder the burden of antagonizing every student in this school, because somebody has to be the asshole. But if you call him an asshole, all his mature friends rush to his defense because how dare you. But this asshole knows that he can be an asshole, and he's accepted it. He marks you off for your uniform, and sucks the fun out of any stupid thing you come up with under the guise of protecting you. Sometimes that doesn't work awesome for him; I accidentally punched him in the face last year when he tried to break up a fight. His prefecting just fucking intensified, asshole didn't even miss a beat.

Rules are his friend, and he would elope and run off with rules if rules would ever fucking return those fifty voicemails he left. He's got a hardon for lists. His lists are tamper proof because of that one week I drew dicks all over them two years ago. They're probably only tamper proof to annoy me. That's who Raf is.

Tess Noble (Coppertale):

Badass. Was on our quidditch team last year but now she's given up fun to defend the little people. Hardcore into feminism. She's like the mom that will beat your ass when you fuck up, especially if you disrespectfully fuck up, but can be your bro when you're chill. She goes to the Grotto, and is usually the designated walker at the end of the end.

And even though she doesn't get shit faced or sled down the side of a hill, she did get detention last month for trying to sneak out to a movie with me. She weighs the risks and rewards of breaking rules because she's fucking smart like that. If it's dangerous, she'll probably back the fuck out of it.

Quinn Cunningham (Azurcrest):

Quinn is a fun hardass and my best friend. She's a terrible enabler who attempts to surrender her own fun in an attempt to minimize the fuckery we do in our own fun. She played healer during our sledding adventure because she accepts that sometimes we're gonna fuck shit up. Instead of fucking it up for us, she is there to catch us. She's still an asshole who writes you up for your uniform but she also engages in drinking at grotto parties or victory parties or pity parties or hockey parties.

Do not approach her if she's in the library

Jesse McBride (Azurcrest):

Is a fucking dork. But he's also the peoples prefect. He doesn't give a shit about your uniform, or your language, or grotto parties. I think his heart is in the right place, but sometimes that place is drunk. He's not a power hungry dick who draws that clear line between what you can and can't do, as if he's wiser in his whole seventeen years of life.

He's also smart as shit, and probably usually not a dick in person.

Sun-mi Choi (Ribbonfin):

Trusts moles who fuck you over during bonding activities. I think she's low key hilarious. But she's also a fucking marshmallow who sucks at scolding people for breaking the rules. I literally think she's the only prefect who's never taken points from me. You can probably trust her.

Ravinder Dhaliwal (Ribbonfin):

I seriously think he's a fucking robot.

Ravi is as serious about prefecting as he is about LARP, which is obscenely serious. He'll punish you for your uniform, and basically everything else. Because he's infatuated with Rules, and doesn't realize that Rules' heart belongs to Ramirez. He doesn't write as many lists, though. He probably low key disapproves of grotto parties, and I've never seen this kid drunk. I'm not sure he's ever been drunk. I'm not even sure robots can get drunk.

Cricket (Ebonhide):

Cricket is a serious prefect. Who enforces rules because they're rules. She hates vulgar language. I feel like she interrupts arguments only because she hates vulgar language. She's basically under the impression that being civil is looking civil, and you can be a complete dick so long as you don't talk like a dick. I ain't about that life.

She's also probably wearing the same mask all the senior prefects are. They're supposed to be role models or some shit. So they pretend not to have any problems or insecurities, or favorites, even though they all probably totally fucking do. They need to get a reality check and realize they're fucking seventeen. Ain't nobody looking to them for role models.

Nate Bird (Ebonhide):

This kid's a fucking midget. Not relevant, but accurate. Nonconfrontational as fuck, but dude's on serious edge. Smart as shit though. Like when they pick prefects to be a role model, this is probably the kid they had in mind. Nice as fuck, smart as shit, quiet and shit. Doesn't get hung up on stupid shit that shouldn't even be against the rules, doesn't confuse you by cutting loose at grotto parties.

Olivia Sanchez (Coppertale):

Nice as shit, but could probably break something if she punched you? She's like super chill, super mellow, super nice, which is weird for coppertale because we're aggressive as fuck. She doesn't deduct a whole lotta points, and she awards points for jokes, which is unusual because our lovely prefects hate awarding points unless you devote your day to rescuing kittens from trees or inventing teleportation or some shit. You don't get credit for normal shit. But she's cool, doesn't blur the lines by getting shit faced every party. Wasn't invited to sledding for a reason.

Dom Tremblay (Coppertale):

Some kind of nature freak from Canada. He's professional in the same way Bird is. Calm and shit. Doesn't get shit faced. Doesn't go overboard with power. Doesn't like bullies, which is fucking good, because too many damn prefects let shit slide because nobody's verbally threatening to kill anybody.

Katya Ivanov (Azurcrest):

Chill as fuck. She's a peoples prefect. She isn't gonna fuck you up for not wearing your uniform right. She isn't gonna fuck you for getting drunk. She'll probably make sure you don't die. If you try to summon a demon, she'll probably step in there. I strongly believe she was made prefect because she's the most mature one out of that whole damn shit cabin.

Reece Downing (Azurcrest):

This is the fucking kid that set those mechanical bugs free. I don't know him, but he's not an asshole. And his uniform looks more shit than mine, so he probably doesn't fucking care. Kid's most likely to electrocute himself with magic. Also least likely to bitch at you for your uniform. Also doesn't seem to fuck shit up at grotto parties. So probably the ideal prefect.

Rosemary Stoker (Ribbonfin):

I'm bias as hell, but she's smart, and she's intimidating. She'll make you cry. And she'll write you up for dumb shit. But she's also protective as hell, which I assume you already know. Since that's your house. Voted most likely to break her fist on somebody else's face during hockey. But just like Ramirez, somebody's gotta be that hardass. There's different groups of prefect, you need prefects who can party with you, and fuck up just as great as you do so that there's not a massive divide between you and these asshole students that the administration decided were better than you. But you still need those hardasses who actually do their damn job forcefully so that you don't gotta fuck up so often. Then you need the weird fucks like that Reece Downing kid and Dom who are just there to do their jobs and don't get off on the powertrip, because it'd be annoying as fuck if they didn't exist. Rosy's a hardass I love it

Ferdinand Ayers (Ribbonfin):

This kid's like a fucking pacifist or some shit. Upstanding prefect, nice and chill and shit. Won't flip shit at you for having your shirt untucked. This guide is actually making senior prefects look fucked up in comparison to junior prefects. Sounds legit, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Anty Papadakis (Ebonhide):

Bubbly as fuck. She's like a fucking prefect cheerleader and it's fucking weird and annoying when you're in trouble. But if you want a nicer prefect, you should probably stick to junior prefects because apparently that's their fucking jam.

Casper Kim (Ebonhide):

Except for this asshole. This kid's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Mount Rushmore. Fucking oxygen probably pisses this kid off. He's not power hungry, and doesn't seem to give too much of a shit about rules. He seems more pissed off that idiots are doing dumb shit more than us actually breaking any rules. Like it's an inconvenience for him. Kid needs to learn to cut loose before he implodes with all that impotent rage he's clinging to. I don't know how the fuck he made prefect, but he's better as a quidditch player than a prefect. Don't approach him unless you're fucking dying. And even then, you should probably brace yourself for a lecture while you're on your death bed.



Nobody gives a shit about sophomore prefects. They're fifteen year olds with a badge and no sense of a real identity. This is like they're dry run before their power actually starts to matter.