signior_laris (signior_laris) wrote in glbt, @ 2005-08-30 14:25:00 |
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Current mood: | confused |
Current music: | Il Divo |
Hello and HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Hey everyone,
My name is Tyler, though some call me Laris. I'm a 19 year old college freshman, and I'm desperate need of some help/support.
At summer orientation, I met a guy by the name of Josh. He was also a freshman, and also interested in the same major as I. True, i thought his neatly trimmed dark brown goatee, equally trimmed figure, and short dark brown hair made him VERY appealing. However, there was also something in me that clicked whenever we were in the same room. My pulse quickened, i was slightly short of breath, and i couldn't stop smiling when we talked. We got to discussing religion, and I told him i was Wiccan, and he told me he was Mormon. I just about died then, because I had a very strong feeling that we would never get together. Anyway, all through orientation, I couldn't get my mind off him. on the final day of orientation, just as everything was wrapping up, i finally confessed my feelings to Josh. He simply said that he was expecting it to happen, and that he was straight. I told him i completely understood where he was coming from, and that (jokingly) he broke my heart. when we left for our respective homes, i ended up crying the entire way home (3 hours of crying while trying to drive is extremely difficult, let me tell ya). As the summer progressed, i slowly but surely got over my crush.
HOWEVER, when I came back to the campus, this time for the real deal, the memory of the painful crush returned, and i found myself wondering what would happen if Josh and I ever ran into each other. Would i still feel the same way for him? Had i gotten over my crush for good? Not until the second day, during my very last class, did i find out. I walked into the classroom, and there, sitting in the front row, was Josh. We exchanged the standard "hey, how's it going?", "how was your summer?" type of conversation. As before, i felt the feelings of quickened pulse, short breaths, and a small crack of a smile emerge from the depths of my soul. Remembering the pain i felt before, i forced those feelings back into my heart. I refused to even look at Josh during the entire class.
So, my question is: what should i do about it?
Thanks for everyone's help,
Tyler