| September 13th, 2004 |
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I'm not sure what I am doing here.
I have long defined myself as "straight not narrow," of course. I fully support equal rights for all people... but that isn't what brings me here.
How do you know if you are bisexual and does it even matter? I am an almost 40 year old woman, happily married, with young kids... a long time ago, when I was like 14, I was in love with a girl and our parents interfered... Hardcore. At 15 I started dating guys, but I still fell for a girl and tortured myself by becoming close friends with her for several years... but I was too scared to tell her about it. The girl I loved before was whisked across the country from me by her parents... I didn't want anything like that to happen again... so I stayed really close friends and never told her until years had gone by and my feelings had changed to deep friendship. (wouldn't you know it? She confessed she'd been crushing on me at the same time.) I may be having an identity crisis, but one thing I know about myself is that I am very loyal. I am in love with my husband and everything is great between us, but for whatever reason I am suddenly thinking about all this old stuff and wondering... what does it mean?
Even if I am bisexual, it changes nothing. I am monogamous and would not cheat on my husband, nor would I trade him. That's why I say it doesn't matter... so why does it bug me? (and why should any of you care?) I don't know.
Thanks for reading.Current Mood:  distressed |
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