Jacen Stephen Allen (cantoutwitjacen) wrote in genomeforum, @ 2012-05-22 10:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | jacen allen, may 2012 |
Dear Children under 13 and those adults that still cry when they have to go get blood work done,
First of all (to the adults), I am not "HEY BOY WITH THE SYRINGE OVER THERE!" That is not going to get you into my office any sooner. Do you not see the group of people out there sitting with you in the waiting room? Wait your turn like a good little patient, yes?
Biggest misconception about drawing blood, if you move your arm, the needle won't break inside your vein and stay there forever and ever and then you die. Just relax.
You will not die by my taking a small sample of your blood. You still have plenty of blood left in you.
Just cause you haven't eaten yet does not mean you can nibble on my arm. We have not yet turned into cannibals as far as I can tell.
If you behave, I give you a sucker. If you yell and scream like a banshee, I send you off to your parents or respective guardians with nothing. Maybe the address to another lab if I'm feeling creative.
If you touch anything, you will die. That is a fact. And a promise. If my two 7-year-old girls can sit still while I take their blood without touching anything or moving, so can everyone else.
And parents, trying to hold your kid down while I take their blood only makes it worse. Just wave at them from far away if you can stand to be away from them for more than two seconds, okay?
Please help me out, yeah?
Sincerely,
HEY BOY WITH THE SYRINGE OVER THERE!
aka
Me