InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "pass the chips!"

Scott Silverman (gowiththeflo) wrote in genome_project,
@ 2012-11-16 00:48:00

Entry tags:

jacob tibbits, november 2012, scott silverman, text

Who: Jacob and Scott
What: a text
When: shortly after Ari tells Scott that she's cancerous

Hey Jacob, how are you? I'm hoping all is well. I was wondering if you had a moment to chat with me?

(Post a new comment)

	tristis 2012-11-16 05:53 am UTC (link)
	Scotty! Yes. Absolutely. I'm just watching reruns of a show you're far too young to remember. What's up? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	1/2 gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 05:55 am UTC (link)
	I resent that statement, but also: thank you for calling me young. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	2/2 gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 05:55 am UTC (link)
	But yes. I feel awkward putting this out there in a text message, but believe me when I say there's really no easy way to put this out there anyways. So here goes. My wife has cancer. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 2/2 tristis 2012-11-16 05:57 am UTC (link)
	So you don't resent it. Oh, fuckfuckfu Jesus, Scott. That's terrible. I'm really, really sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:01 am UTC (link)
	Yes. It's certainly a doozy. I'm not sure what... to do, I guess. My children are messes, and obviously with good reason. But I'm not sure what to say. She will die. There's no getting better. It's already metastasized. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tristis 2012-11-16 06:03 am UTC (link)
	A doozy? Good lord, man. That's an understatement. - I'm so sorry. Do you know how long she has? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	1/2 gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:05 am UTC (link)
	Look, I've been trying to downplay it in my head, so it doesn't sound like such a fucking lie when I tell my children that everything will be alright. Doozy seemed... appropriate, considering. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	2/2 gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:05 am UTC (link)
	She has a month. Two, tops. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1/2 tristis 2012-11-16 06:07 am UTC (link)
	Do the kids know that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:13 am UTC (link)
	I think so. I don't believe it was kept a secret. How could it be? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tristis 2012-11-16 06:14 am UTC (link)
	I honestly don't know. I'm not sure how any of this works. I'm afraid age has given me no wise edge in this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:16 am UTC (link)
	~~Didn't your daughter die?~~ I'm just not sure what to do. How to make it all better. I have no idea how to comfort my children or my wife. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tristis
2012-11-16 06:19 am UTC (link)

I found that the important thing to remember is that everyone grieves differently. Some want to be alone, others not, some want to talk about it, others don't. It's different in your case, since she's still around. It will just be... protracted grieving. The best I could do with my kids was offer them an ear or a shoulder or a hug and let them do the rest. Granted, they were much older.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:26 am UTC (link)
	Not all of my children are even into the double digits yet. I might be a teacher, but I'm no where near qualified to deal with this. ~~My sister is a doctor but~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tristis 2012-11-16 06:28 am UTC (link)
	Unfortunately, I don't think you can ever become qualified. I know, for me, reaching out to family is what helped - it was reminiscing and talking about the happier times and just knowing others were out there, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:33 am UTC (link)
	Reaching out to family might be difficult. Many of them haven't spoken to me since they found out about the Project. Apparently, not finding out you have a nephew or a grandchild until they are 6 is insulting. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tristis 2012-11-16 06:34 am UTC (link)
	Yes, well, such is a reality of those of us from the Project. There are, however, things that can reach across gulfs - sometimes - and this might be one of those things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-16 06:45 am UTC (link)
	I suppose. I guess it couldn't hurt to try. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tristis 2012-11-16 06:49 am UTC (link)
	Obviously, this is your call, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It helped me - but we're different, and our families are different (as you know well enough). But if you think it would help, I encourage it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gowiththeflo 2012-11-21 06:23 am UTC (link)
	I'll think about it. Thanks Jacob. (Reply to this) (Parent)