William Scott Dale (putthekettleon) wrote in genome_project, @ 2012-02-13 19:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | abby chase, february 2012, open |
Who: Will and Abby
What: Finding closure
When: Monday afternoon
Where: The graveyard
Rating: D because I'm depressed today XP
Will felt like he had been punched in the face repeatedly with a giant bag of ice. His mother had told him that his brother's headstone was being put in, but the reality of what that meant didn't actually sink in until right now. Staring down at his brother's grave somehow made his death more real than ever before. Graves were for old Civil War casualties and grandparents. They were not meant for young people. If Will had made any progress at all in his dealing with his brother's passing, it had all just gone to shit. He was back at square one. Once again, he blamed himself and beat himself up for his brother's death. Once again he went over all the ways he could have possibly prevented it. Once again, he cried as if it was the very first day.
The site around the grave looked a lot nicer than the rest of the graves surrounding him. It was freshly cleaned and cleared out in order to make way for the headstone. There was no snow around his grave, which oddly eased Will's anxiety. He wasn't sure what his aversion to seeing snow on his brother's grave was, but he was sure that it would only just make things worse. Despite the bitter cold of this February day, Will placed the flowers he had brought in the vase and sat down beside Alan's headstone. The texture of it was grainy and it was cool to the touch, but Will didn't care. He knew his brother was no where near this place, but sitting there somehow made him feel closer to Alan.
"I wish I understood, Alan," Will began in a soft, emotionless voice. "I wish I understood what you were thinking that night. I wish I was there. I wish... I wish a lot of things. Mostly though... I just wish you were here and not.... down there."