InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Will you be my friend?"

William Scott Dale (putthekettleon) wrote in genome_project,
@ 2012-02-13 19:11:00

Entry tags:

abby chase, february 2012, open

Who: Will and Abby
What: Finding closure
When: Monday afternoon
Where: The graveyard
Rating: D because I'm depressed today XP

Will felt like he had been punched in the face repeatedly with a giant bag of ice. His mother had told him that his brother's headstone was being put in, but the reality of what that meant didn't actually sink in until right now. Staring down at his brother's grave somehow made his death more real than ever before. Graves were for old Civil War casualties and grandparents. They were not meant for young people. If Will had made any progress at all in his dealing with his brother's passing, it had all just gone to shit. He was back at square one. Once again, he blamed himself and beat himself up for his brother's death. Once again he went over all the ways he could have possibly prevented it. Once again, he cried as if it was the very first day.

The site around the grave looked a lot nicer than the rest of the graves surrounding him. It was freshly cleaned and cleared out in order to make way for the headstone. There was no snow around his grave, which oddly eased Will's anxiety. He wasn't sure what his aversion to seeing snow on his brother's grave was, but he was sure that it would only just make things worse. Despite the bitter cold of this February day, Will placed the flowers he had brought in the vase and sat down beside Alan's headstone. The texture of it was grainy and it was cool to the touch, but Will didn't care. He knew his brother was no where near this place, but sitting there somehow made him feel closer to Alan.

"I wish I understood, Alan," Will began in a soft, emotionless voice. "I wish I understood what you were thinking that night. I wish I was there. I wish... I wish a lot of things. Mostly though... I just wish you were here and not.... down there."

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abbychase
2012-02-14 03:41 am UTC (link)

Abby had cleared off the snow on her mother's grave and was sitting atop it, like it was a seat made just for her. Her short legs dangled over the edge and she leaned her head on the angel's body of the tombstone, as if actually leaning against another person. She wasn't mourning, she was actually having a conversation with her mother. Abby was too young to know her mother when she actually passed away but she liked to visit her grave every so often and update her on what was happening. She liked to think that every time she visited, she was just talking to an old friend.

"They shoved me in another locker today," she sighed and fiddled with a strap on her backpack. "They're stupid though. They said it was to see if I could fit at first. But clearly I fit. Why can't they just dump me in a trash can or something? At least that'd be easy to get out of..." Abby paused for a minute and thought of what else had been happening in her life. "A boy asked me to the dance, too ya know. I think you'd like him. He's kind of nice I guess. But he's totally just a friend. Oh! And it was Mandy's birthday a few days ago. ...but you already knew that. She's doing good..."

Abby stopped talking quietly and looked up when she heard another person talking. She had seen them putting in another headstone not too far over but she didn't think too much of it. The boy's voice traveled and she could hear some of what he was saying. He seemed to just be having a conversation with whomever was in the plot. "I'll be back, mom," Abby whispered to the angel on the gravestone, as though it were a real person.

Slowly, Abby made her way over to the guy sitting next to the tombstone on the ground. She watched him before she said anything and stopped at the foot of the plot, so as to be respectful of not walking where the casket presumably was in the ground. "It gets easier, you know," she murmured in the boy's direction as she tucked her long hair behind one of her ears.

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putthekettleon
2012-02-14 03:56 am UTC (link)

Will glanced up at the sound of another's voice. While he was slightly annoyed that his personal conversation with his brother was being interrupted, he also sort of welcomed the interruption. He could tell that he was sinking down into a place he did not want to go, one that would trap him in a vicious cycle of anger and hate. It would do no one a bit of good if he allowed that to happen.

"So I've heard," he simply replied. In the dimming light of the late wintery afternoon, Will could hardly see the person standing before him, though he easily concluded it was a girl, a young girl at that.

"What's your name?"

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abbychase
2012-02-14 04:30 am UTC (link)

"It's true. 'Death is but the next great adventure,'" Abby muttered, half to herself. She didn't expect him to believe it. Most people who were in the first stages of grief didn't think it would ever get better or easier but Abby wasn't about to try and convince this fellow. Instead, she moved closer and sat down near him and made sure to sit in between Alan's plot and the neighboring one. She pulled off her gloves and held out a hand to Will, to shake. "Abby Chase. And you are?"

She eyed the tombstone. It was oddly plain compared to some of the other ones. Usually they said something like 'Beloved Son' or some kind of overly used quote. "Who are you visiting today?" She nodded to the stone and looked back at Will.

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putthekettleon
2012-02-14 04:41 am UTC (link)

"Only to the well-organized mind," he corrected with a grin. He wasn't the arguing sort, though he had read quite a few books in his day and age. Besides, he wasn't agreeing or disagreeing with her on the matter. He was glad though that she had taken a seat. It was much easier to see her face now that he didn't have to squint and find light wherever his eyes could. "William Dale. Friends call me Will." He shook her hand properly then motioned with his head over at the tombstone.

"Abby Chase, I'd like to introduce my brother, Alan Dale. Barely even cold in the ground, though I can't imagine how since it's been bitterly cold for a few months now." It was a metaphor of course, but Will often liked to tinker with literary devices in his spare time. "Alan killed himself." Right. That may or may not have been extremely blunt, but he was more curious as to how she was going to make Alan's suicide look like something to be proud of.

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abbychase
2012-02-14 04:53 am UTC (link)

Abby grinned when he added on to her Dumbledore quote. He was somewhat well read and that deemed him conversation material in Abby's books. Perhaps she'd make a new friend today. "Nice to meet you, Willy." She giggled a little. Hopefully he wouldn't mind the 'y' she added but if he did, it was too bad. She was going to keep it on there regardless of his opinion.

She waved to the ground and tombstone, "Hey Al, what's up?" She smirked and crossed her legs, Indian-style, looking back up at Will. Instead of commenting on his brother being dead, Abby tried to lighten the conversation a little. "Willy Dale, I'd like to introduce my mother, Bianca Chase. Been cold in the ground for 12 years now." Abby motioned over to the grave stone with the big angel in the middle of a bunch of plain tombstones. "Mom decided to up and get cancer." She smiled softly at Will.

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putthekettleon
2012-02-14 05:13 am UTC (link)

Willy. There was a nickname he hadn't heard in a while. Back in the days before he played sports when all there was to do in the world was read and not talk to anyone at all. Back in the days when bullies stuck your head in the toilet and flushed. "Nice to meet you as well, Abby." He was only vaguely aware of the fact that she was Mandy's sister. Truth be, Mandy was more a friend of Mary's than his. He didn't know all that much about her, save what he heard in passing and from Mary.

Will glanced over at the big angel where Abby was motioning. It seemed rather ornate for a grave, but everyone had their own particular taste. He himself actually had no say in the type of tombstone they purchased for Alan. He couldn't decide one way or another if he liked it or not. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Chase. It's an honor to meet you." His fingers idly plucked at some strands of grass by Alan's tombstone. "Couldn't have been much fun, this cancer."

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abbychase
2012-02-14 03:02 pm UTC (link)

Abby shrugged at Will's cancer comment. She didn't know much about what had happened or how her mother fared with the cancer - if it was quick or long and painful. She just knew she passed from it and left their family in an odd train wreck of some sort. "Probably about as much fun as suicide."

She didn't know what more to say to Will but she didn't want to go quite yet. "You okay?" That seemed like the appropriate thing to ask. Maybe he wanted someone to talk to about it or maybe he just wanted to brood - everyone mourned differently, but it couldn't hurt to ask.

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putthekettleon
2012-02-14 06:27 pm UTC (link)

There was certainly no arguing with that. Cancer and suicide were in a neck and neck race with each other to see which of the two was worse than the other. Then, cancer wasn't something you brought on yourself. Suicide was. And perhaps that was the fundamental difference between the two, that one was self-inflicted, and the other, you had little to no control over.

Was he okay? Had anyone even asked him that and meant it? Probably. But then, he was the strong one of the family, the pillar of hope that held everything else in place, lest the entire structure come tumbling down in a heap on the ground. Was he okay? Well, he had to be. Whether he actually was or wasn't, that was another story. He didn't have a choice in the matter. He had to be okay for everyone else to be able to lean on his pillar for support. "I find the strength to be somehow." And it was as much of the truth as he was willing to reveal to this girl.

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abbychase
2012-02-14 09:01 pm UTC (link)

Abby nodded at Will’s response. She understood what that meant. He was the Mandy of his family. She kept them running and stayed strong after their mother passed away. It didn’t make it right or wrong – it just was the facts. But Abby really wanted to know if he was doing alright. Even the rock of the family had emotions and needed to have someone checking up on them.

She looked at Will, genuinely concerned. “…but are you actually okay? It’s okay not to be okay. I’m not okay some days.” Abby shrugged. Maybe he just wasn’t the kind of guy to open up but Abby figured since they shared somewhat of a common ground, maybe he would be more likely to open up to her.

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putthekettleon
2012-02-15 10:15 pm UTC (link)

Truth be told, Will didn't know the answer to that, at least not right off the bat. He was always so preoccupied with the emotions and emotional state of everyone else that he rarely dwelled on his own feelings. Many believed that he was introspective simply because he was shy and quiet. That was not really the case. Will was shy and quiet because more often than not, he was pay attention to everything that transpired around him. He was perhaps the worst busybody around, except that he never used the information against anyone, only to help them.

After a moment of thought, he answered, "Not at the moment. Not really." He leaned his head against the headstone as if it was a pillow of some sort that was supposed to comfort him. It was an odd position for Will. He was not used to being the one who needed comforting. He was usually the one who comforted others. "I just miss him, you know? And I still have so many questions. What do you do when you're not okay?"

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