His disbelief didn’t surprise her. She still felt a bit of it, it just was so strange to know. And most people who knew Alan knew that his death was really unlikely to ever be suicide. How she wished that it had been murder at least that would leave someone around to ask questions. Someone who might be able to give reasons for their actions. Assuming they were feeling talkative instead of taking everything they knew with them to the grave or to their prison cell.
She hugged him back holding on to him she didn’t want to see his face when she told him it wasn’t murder. “Not murder,” she whispered, “he-he killed himself.”