Penelope Cordelia Sullivan (alwayspenny) wrote in genome_project, @ 2011-07-04 23:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | july 2011 |
Who: Penny and Open (don't be shy)
What: Penny gets bad news :(
Where: Hospital
When: [Forward-dated] Wednesday July 6th, before noon
Rating: S for super sad
"No Andrew, I told you the pot roast was for another night."
Susan Zimmerman paced the halls of the hospital just outside her daughter's room. Usually, it was forbidden to use cell phones while inside the hospital, but Susan (and Penny) had been to the hospital so many times that they a) knew everybody already and b) were pretty much allowed to do whatever they wanted. It was tough growing up and having so many health issues, so the doctors and nurses tended to be a little more lenient when it came to Penny and her family (and sometimes friends).
"Yes, take out the stew and make sure Markl eats."
"Mrs. Zimmerman?"
"One sec, doctor. I don't know when I'll be home, Andrew, just be sure--"
"Mrs. Zimmerman."
"Be sure to--"
"Susan."
"Oh what?"
Susan turned and looked at the doctor with an annoyed face. It was bad enough she had to practically be in two places at once. Did she also have to talk to two people at once?
"I have news... about Penny's condition. It's... a bit serious."
Susan's face fell. "How serious?"
"Well, we've been running tests on her bl--"
"I'll call you back, Andrew."
Susan hurriedly dropped her phone into her purse. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared attentively at the doctor. What she was about to hear next was about the most shocking thing she had ever heard.
"Are... are you certain?"
The doctor nodded... hesistated and then asked, "How should we tell her?"
Susan was still in too much shock to process anything beyond that. She felt as if someone had kicked her in the kidney, rolled her out into a field and ran her over with a tractor several times. She couldn't think, could hardly even stand. "Penny? It's... I can't... Are you sure?"
The doctor nodded again. "Should we wait until Andrew arrives to tell her? She needs to know, Susan."
Susan shook her head. "No. We'll tell her now. It'll be better when there aren't too many people in the room." And for as hard a hit as it was, Susan still hadn't allowed it to sink in, not until Penny was made aware of it. Walking into her room again, Susan looked like a zombie. Penny had been reading a magazine in bed and looked up as her mother and doctor walked in.
"Hi, Dr. Marshall," Penny greeted brightly. The looks on their faces, however, did not reassure her that her cheery mood this morning would persist for the rest of the day. "Everything okay?"
"Penny," Susan began and took a seat at the edge of Penny's bed, "Dr. Marshall has something he needs to tell you."
Penny gave her attention to the doctor. The feel of her mother's cold hand gripping hers was slightly unpleasant.
"Penny, we've been working around the clock in order to thoroughly analyze your blood and perhaps come up with a reason why you are growing tired easily. We have taken all your symptoms into consideration, and the results of the tests show an excess of abnormal white blood cells in your system as well as isolated decreases in your platelets and red blood cells. What this means is that were are diagnosing you with something called acute myeloid.... leukemia."
Leukemia. The word itself hung in the air like a black bat suspended in flight. Whatever else the doctor said after that... that it was a good thing they caught this early, that the body scan they had done on her came back negative for any abnormal growths such as tumors, that the bone marrow sample was relatively healthy, that they didn't think there would be a need for a spinal tap or bone marrow transplant, that chemotherapy for the next few months should do the trick... none of that meant anything to her. None of it except for... Leukemia.
"What?"
Her voice caused Dr. Marshall to stop his explanations and just look at her. The tears began to well up in her eyes. Why? Why was this happening to her? Why now in the prime of her life? Why her? She felt her mother's hand tighten her grip. It was finally sinking in for her too. "Leukemia?" She had heard so much about other kids with cancer, heard their success stories and tragedies. Which one would she become? She couldn't even believe she was now one of them. "Mom?"
Susan had her arms around her in an instant as Penny broke down into uncontrollable sobs. "Mom. Oh God, mom." And Susan had no words to offer her daughter, because she too was crying and rocking her back and forth gently. "Mom... Mom, what... what am I g-g-g-going t-t-t-to do? Why me, mommy? Why me?" Again, Susan had no answers. Instead, she held Penny closer as she cried. It was the sort of news that made you cry so much that you didn't think you could ever stop.
"The... the doctors... s-s-s-s-said th-th-that there's a... good chance you'll recover." But Penny wasn't hearing that. She was lost in her despair. She was drowning in her sobs. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried for this long, with such a loud cry that it hurt her throat.
"Susan." The doctor's voice brought them both out of their misery and back into the world where some people didn't have to worry about their own health and still had jobs and lives. "I need you to sign some papers here please."
"Mommy." Penny didn't want to let her go. She didn't want to be left alone. She wanted to cry every day of her life, how ever many she had left.
"I love you, sweetie. We're going to get through this. Don't cry." But she was crying too. So, who was she to talk?
Penny sniffled and laid back down on her bed. She turned to her side and curled up into a ball. How could this happen? Why was this happening? She heard the door open and some familiar voices outside, but she didn't have the strength to look up. She didn't care. She just wanted to hug herself in this tiny corner of her bed and cry and cry and cry and wish she was some other girl somewhere out on the beach enjoying the sunshine.