Emily Elwood (tearslikerain) wrote in genome_project, @ 2011-01-20 12:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | emily elwood, january 2011, mail |
Dear Jacen,
I wanted to apologize for the way I acted when I came over the other day. I feel like I could have handled it a bit better. Even though I still stand by the belief that I think it would be better if we weren't friends for the time I didn't want to leave things like that between us. First off, when I said that we had to "break up" I honestly mean break up our friendship...I didn't think we were dating...not at all. I had heard some girls talk about breaking up with their friends before so I though that maybe was the way people worded it now. So...no I didn't delude myself into thinking we were anything more than friends over these past few months. Also I'm sorry I just spilled everything out and left without giving you a chance to react or respond. Doing that was just really hard for me and I was afraid that you would change my mind with a simple word and I'd still be stuck in that place I've been in for so long. Also, finally, I want to apologize for kissing you without your permission. I shouldn't have done that, it was wrong for me to take something so special. I just wanted to know what it felt like, just once. Also like I said, in the mini series Princess Irulan got a kiss from her Paul before she had to let him go forever and I just wanted one from mine.
The main reason I feel we need to end our friendship for the time is because just like you needed time away from Lexie in order to get over her...I need time to get over you. I fell for you hard and I need time away in order for me to move past that and get on with my life. I thought being around you and constantly drilling the words 'just friends' in my head would work, but...it only made it harder. So I hope that one day I will be strong enough so that we can be friends again, I will miss you and our Dune discussion, you really were a great friend to me Jacen and none of this is your fault. I am truly happy that you have moved past Lexie finally and will be able to find happiness with someone else. She is a lucky girl, whoever she may be. I wish you all the happiness and love in the world. No one deserves it more than you.
Emily Elwood
P.S.- Even though we aren't friends anymore I want you to know that I will always care for you, in a totally platonic way.
P.P.S.-I hope you enjoyed your presents and my voice didn't sound too much like nails on a chalkboard.