Eisen pulled himself out of his moment of sadness when Lexie started talking about her Christmas. It was easily done. She was so genuinely happy than Eisen would have felt like he’d be doing her a disservice if he were anything bit as excited as she was. No, his holiday hadn’t exactly been ideal, but Lexie’s had, and right then, that was what was important.
He remembered times, a long ago, when Christmas had been a holiday filled with excitement for he and Aren both. Unfortunately, though, it seemed that he’d ruined it for both of them with too much curiosity. He felt guilty for it a lot of the time. The tension between he and their parents had made dealings with them awkward for Aren, too. It was unfortunate and he felt horribly guilty for it, but he did the best he could not to show it too much. For his sister’s sake. “That sounds like fun,” he said sincerely. “Sounds like the perfect holiday.”
At the mention of spending holidays with the Spinellis, Eisen shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t think I’d feel right asking them to spend a holiday there, anyway. Besides, there’s Aren. I can’t leave her behind, you know? She’d be devastated if I wasn’t there. Especially since we don’t see one another nearly as much as we used to anymore.” They were both in college, both had lives of their own and friends of their own, so it sort of put a damper on any brother-and-sister time they used to share. Generally speaking, Eisen tried to live without regrets, but this, this one one of the things that he could genuinely say he regretted.
And then there was one of the other regrets he had, mentioned right in succession with the other. Lexie gushed happily about her date with Ed and it was like someone had driven a dagger right into the gaping hole in Eisen’s chest. She sounded so happy and it made him wonder if she’d be as happy if things were different. If he’d been bold enough to ask her first, been the one to take the plunge, would she be that happy? Would that beautiful, excited smile still be on her face? Somehow, he found it hard to believe. He smiled awkwardly, pushing his food around on his plate and then turned his eyes to look at her, forcing himself to see the mistake he’d made, so that he didn’t make it again.
“That’s good,” he said softly. “I’m glad you had a good time. No one deserves it more.”