Status: Complete Calvin sat in his room, contentedly spread out on his bed with a copy of his new Nero Wolfe mystery in his hands. Or rather, his old Nero Wolfe mystery. The used book store in town was obviously the best place to buy such things. It had been a long time since Calvin had had time to just sit on his bed and read. It felt like he should have more time to do these things now that school was over, but his job at the rock climbing gym had managed to take over much of his life, and any free time he had to spare he was spending with Katie or Vivian. At least... until the camping trip. Now, the last thing he wanted to do was work, especially since he was doing a job that involved him being responsible for the safety of the other rock-climbers. For the past two days he’d managed to do very little belaying, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that up for much longer. The responsible thing to do would be to quit, so he wouldn’t be a hazard. Despite the oppressive summer heat pouring into his room, Calvin shivered at the thought of losing control like he had in the forest. Of course, losing control hadn’t even been the scariest part. He curled up a little tighter, pulling his legs closer to his chest, still trying to concentrate on his book despite his distraction. If even one of his visions came true...
Calvin shook his head. No. he couldn’t think like that. Maybe he just had some weird epileptic disorder that made him hallucinate. That would certainly be a better explanation than the idea that he could go into weird fits that made him see the future. Besides, he’d only seen bits and pieces of things in his visions, including some girl that he’d never seen before. And because he knew everyone on the island, and because new people never seemed to show up, the girl couldn’t have been real. Calvin sighed heavily, as if he were trying to expel all the tension he’d built up in his chest. It would all be all right. He hoped. He tried to get back to his book when the door to his room was suddenly swung ajar. Calvin jumped, his body uncurling like a spring. “Ah-- oh. Hi Viv.” Calvin’s heartbeat slowed a little and he tried to give his sister a little smile. “What’s up?”
~~
Vivian knew. She always knew. There was that tight feeling in her chest that just told her something was wrong. After Cal had come back from his little camping trip he had constantly been avoiding the subject- avoiding her gaze. What had happened that would cause him to not even speak to her about it? It was his Katie, she knew it! She had done something- she must have... but no, it was more than that. She could feel it as she looked at him sitting there. She’d come to get answers. He was her brother and she would always protect him. Looking at him, she saw that she had startled him, and then there was that little smile of his- it always gave him away to her.
She opened the door the rest of the way and stepped in, closing it behind her. “‘What’s up?’ Really? Why don’t you tell me Cal?” Her tone was slightly harder than she had intended it to be, so she softened it. “You are my brother, dear.” She went and sat next to him, brushing his hair from his face. ”You know you can tell me anything... so what is it that you have been hiding from me? Did she hurt you?” It was not her usual way of going about things- usually she would beat around the bush until he gave in. However, she had allowed herself to wait too long- and she didn’t want whatever had happened to become a permanent scar on his very being. She locked her eyes to his, not letting him look away. “Tell me... please?”
~~
Calvin tensed, some of the color draining from his cheeks as he looked into his sisters eyes. He knew better than to think that he could keep secrets from her - Viv knew him too well and was too persistent to let him keep much to himself for long. Even as little children, he’d found it very hard to lie or to keep things from her; it was like she had a sixth sense or something. He could understand her concern - he probably had been acting strangely. But he still couldn’t bring himself to talk about his little episode in the woods. He hadn’t even talked to anyone who’d been there. He wished it would all just go away, fading like a nightmare or a memory.
“Did who hurt me?” He looked a little puzzled, but the breathless quality in his voice betrayed his anxiousness. “Katie?” It was the only “she” he could think of to whom his sister might refer. He could tell that she didn’t like his girlfriend much, a fact that made him more disappointed than he probably should have been. He wished everyone could just get along. Was that really so hard? “No, no. Katie didn’t hurt me. She never could. Or would.” He looked up at her with what he hoped would be a reassuring smile. “I-it’s just...” he broke off, his eyes glancing down at his bedspread. “Something happened in during the camping trip,” he admitted, his voice heavy with shame. “I... sort of... I lost control of myself.”
~~
She knew her younger brother was hurting. It showed in his face, his voice- even the very air around him was thick with his pain. Lost control? What on earth was he talking about? Had he become violent? Not likely, she was always the one there to protect him. What could he possibly...oh... her breath hitched in her throat and She could feel her eyes widen in shock. Picturing him with her was maddeningly painful,far more than it really should have been. So, of course, she took his words to mean something entirely else.”You...” but wait, why would he be ashamed of such a thing? He cared far too much for Katie to regret something like that. “Cal, what do you mean? Lost control of what?” She was more confused than she could ever remember being- she didn’t like it. There was a bad feeling about all of this...
~~
Calvin flinched at the fear in his sister’s eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He shouldn’t have been so unclear. What did he expect her to do, read his mind? Ugh. He hated this. He hated not being able to talk to anyone about what was going on, and he especially hated not being able to talk to his own sister, the one who probably cared about him the most. “Do you remember a few months ago when I told you I was afraid I was going crazy because I was having this weird... visions?” A finger of ice seemed to be running up and down his spine as Calvin thought about it. “I... I had another one in the woods during the camping trip. Except... it wasn’t just one. It... it was a whole bunch of visions, except I didn’t see complete pictures, just scattered images. And while it was happening I just... I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was watch and listen and... I wasn’t in control of myself or my body or anything. And then I passed out.” He curled up a little more, his body trembling ever so slightly. “It just hit me out of nowhere, Viv. I’m so... so scared it’s going to happen again. I can’t control it. I can’t control me.” Calvin didn’t even want to think about the actual subjects of the visions. Even though he couldn’t remember things too clearly, he could definitely remember the twisted metal, the whispers, the screaming. He definitely remembered the screaming.
~~
She just couldn’t stand it- seeing her brother so horribly upset- seeing him try to hold himself together physically, as if it would keep him together mentally. She scooted over and put her arms around him, hoping he would find comfort in it and hear her saying without words that she would be the voice that held him together.
She remembered him telling her, alright. She remembered him acting just as he was before, a few moments ago. She should have known- how could she have not made the connection? She felt his trembling and tightened her hold on him. “So...” She sighed- she really was at a loss for words. “What happened? What is it that you saw?” Vivian was trying to piece it together. Her brother had told her that he had been seeing things... she still had no idea about what she was supposed to make of it, however. “Did you hurt yourself?” She was so terribly frightened- but she had to keep this hidden. Calvin was already so upset and he didn’t need that on his chest, too.
~~
Calvin curled up instinctively in his sister’s arms, a place he’d been so many times before. He could feel himself relaxing, even if it was just a little, and he let his head fall onto her chest. He felt so vulnerable this way, as if he would never be able to do anything on his own ever again. The visions in themselves had been awful, but his physical reaction to them was almost worse - would he ever be able to ensure complete control over himself now?
He trembled a little less when his big sister’s arms were around him, but he tensed a little at her questions, shaking his head. “I... I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it. It was just so terrible. I didn’t... hurt myself. Not really. I mean, I got a few scrapes from falling down I guess, but nothing more serious than that.” That was an understatement, of course - he hadn’t really been physically hurt, but the mental scarring, the nightmares... that was worse than any broken limb or cut he could’ve gotten. “Everyone took care of me. It was all right. I was all right.”
~~
Part of her relaxed. This meant that at least he wasn’t alone when it happened, then. It was only a small part, however. “What did you tell them? Did they ask? ” No doubt Katie was there- she was always around him lately, and it killed her every time she saw them together. It was almost as if she was flaunting it in her face. But at least she was there for Cal when Vivian wasn’t able to be. She always felt so horrible when she left him alone. She had done it when he left for his trip - and now look. She could feel her heart beating rather hard... she shouldn’t be getting so upset. He’s fine - that should be enough.
“Calvin.” Saying his name always helped to her calm down. She tightened her arms for a moment, hugging him and laid her cheek on his head. She wanted to make him forget this. She hated seeing him so upset.
~~
Calvin looked up at her, his eyes full of uncertainty. “I didn’t tell them about... what I saw or anything. I just said that I’d had some kind of weird episode and passed out, but I don’t think everyone bought it.” Katie certainly hadn’t. But then, Katie knew more or less everything that had been going on with his scary vision-seeing powers, and it was only a matter of time before she’d coax the truth out of him about what he’d seen. Now, though, he really didn’t want to talk about it. It was better just to stay snuggled up in his sister’s arms, curled up like when they were kids.
“Yeah?” As she’d said his name, it didn’t really register with him that she’d been using it as a way to calm herself down. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Viv. I don’t mean to be distant. It’s just... tough dealing with all of this.”
~~
Whenever Vivian felt lost, she would repeat his name to herself. This was usually in private, however, and it embarrassed her that she hadn’t realized a very important thing - he could indeed hear her.
“Sorry, Cal, don’t worry about it.” Did he know how much he meant to her? She doubted it. She was always afraid of totally letting go, lest she scare him.
She sighed lightly. The only way to cheer her Callie would be to talk him through it. It was obvious that he needed his time and strength to get past this. Or at least not dwell on it so much. “Alrighty, let’s talk about this - what happened in that forest can remain our secret. If you really don’t want anyone else to know - you don’t have to tell them,” she paused for a moment. “This includes Katie, alright? But just know that I can help carry this until we figure it out. I realize I’m rambling and that I sound really awkward, but just bear with me.”
Why was she suddenly becoming so nervous? She wasn’t normally like this - she was always super calm when she had her brother in her arms. Oh Good Lord, he could probably hear her heart as his head was on her chest. She looked down into his face, into his eyes that looked so confused. She pulled his face to face hers more completely. “I’m with you, in this. You are not alone. You know that, yes? You shouldn’t worry about distance... If you need it, I’ll give it to you. But no matter what, I am here for you.” She kissed his cheek, and pulled him back, giving him a tight hug, and repeated, “I‘m here for you.”
~~
“Thanks, Viv.” Calvin murmured. “I probably won’t say anything. But I can maybe... you know. Tell you what I saw sometime later. When I’m up to it.” He really didn’t like the idea of repeating his visions, or partial visions, to any other living being, but he’d do it for Vivian if that’s what she wanted. But maybe it would all be okay. If he was lucky, the crazy vision stuff would stop, or at least become more manageable. He at least hadn’t had any episodes since the camping trip, and although he was sure he’d had a nightmare last night, he didn’t remember it. For now, he contented himself with snuggling against his sister’s chest and listening to her comforting words. Although he didn’t really like the part where she’d reminded him that he didn’t have to tell Katie anything, Vivian’s presence was definitely helping him to relax. His big sister had gotten him through worse crises than this (of course, he couldn’t think of any specific personal crises that were worse than this, but he was sure he could think of some given the time), so everything would be all right in the end. Wouldn’t it?
Calvin let out a soft sigh and pulled slowly away from his sister. “Hey, let’s go downstairs and get some ice cream or something. I’m tired of moping. It’s probably not good for me, is it?” Pushing himself off of his bed, Calvin turned to give a hand to his sister. “Thanks again, Viv. You always know how to make me feel better.”
~~
“I better!” She joked. He was right, though - the best way to get over it was to stop talking about it. A little smile came to her face as she took his hand. It wasn’t a sweet smile, but one of mischief and it was paired with a little gleam in her eyes. She wasn’t about to let him off that easy...
Once she was up on her feet, she pounced on him, knocking him back down and tickling his sides, as she said “And this is for keeping secrets, you sneaky child!” After a few seconds, she jumped off of him, and ran out of the door. She loved Calvin - he really was the most important thing to her, ever.
~~
“VIV!” Calvin could barely speak through his laughter. Although tickle fights had been common during their childhood, Calvin had kind of expected them to wane and stop happening once they both hit adolescence. They hadn’t. And somehow, Vivian always seemed to be the initiator of them. Not that Calvin minded too much - tickling him was a sure-fire way to get him laugh, and Vivian knew it. He had to take a few seconds to calm down and straighten himself out before he jumped off the bed and darted out of the room after his sister. At least he was smiling now. Yes, Vivian always had known how to make him smile, even when Calvin was at his worst. And for that, Calvin couldn’t thank his sister enough.