Who: Phil McCoy and Wes Barton What:The challenge!! PIGEONS Remember this, folks? When: umm... last week! Where:Manhattan roaming! And bird hating
There are a lot of sequels out these days. They considered seeing a movie, but it just felt like deju vu. Instead they got coffee. Phil loves coffee. Since they had money left over from not going to the movie, Phil got one of those ridiculous coffees, with the whip cream and the white mocha. He was happy from then on.
But as they left the building, it was more than a little noticeable that there were pigeons. A lot of them. And they followed Wes and Phil. Both on little bird feet and swooping down at them.
"Uh. Wes..."
Wes also got a super ridiculous foamed up coffee. He looked over showing that a foam mustache is not him. "Huh?" His eyes followed Phil's to the little swarm they had. "Jeez, Phil, what did you do?" He asked, looking perplexed and confused. "They better not poop on us."
He quickened the pace a bit. "This is so Hitchcockian."
"Animals like me." It's not his fault! It's their fault! "Just walk faster." Phil's long legs are put to good use. It's probably for the best, the coffee was too hot to drink at the moment anyway. "I hope they don't peck your eyes out..." They won't peck out Phil's! They like Phil! They might hate Wes, because Wes is with Phil and not a bird. Birds have a strange way of seeing life.
"Holy crap, Phil. This is really creepy. They better not peck my eyes out. I don't want to cast a spell that would turn them inside out." Yeah, it's gross, but it was the first one that came to mind. Blame Scanners, the remake. Wasn't Andi in that one too?
In the flurry of freaky dirty pigeons, a hot babe manages to catch Wes' eye. She giggled and pointed to her upper lip. Dropping his mouth, Wes wiped his upper lip, with haste. "Gawd, Phil. How can I meet ladies like this, I expect you to tell me next time!"
A pigeon swooped down and knocked over Wes' coffee... ALL over the two of them. And Wes swore. "SHITAKE mushrooms!"
Phil shrugs, half-heartedly. "I didn't notice." Gee Wes, it's not like Phil is constantly aware of your face... also considering there are pigeons trying to rub up against them, he was more focused on saving his coffee from their beaks.
When the coffee is spilled, Phil hopped back, nearly spilling his own, "Gah!" He's was wearing two shirts, so stripping one off seemed to be the most logical course of action. He held the material in his hands for a few moments before a trio of birds swooped down and stole it. He looked around, confused, in a white undershirt with a few spots of coffee on it. He looked ever so slightly homeless.
"Dude." Wes pointed. "We need to get you a new shirt." He, however, had a black t-shirt on and even though it was very uncomfortable to have it all sticky, it didn't look stained. Well, unless a bird pooped on it. "That or run through the sprinkler."
As he spoke he nearly tripped over a clump of pigeons in front of him. "Sheesh! Make them go away or something."
Phil looked down at his remaining shirt. "This one is all right." It'll stain, that's for sure. Good thing he's got a ton of them back home. "Ooh, is there a sprinkler?" Don't mind if he does!! "I... make them go away?" To do that, he'd have to scare them away. That's no fun!
"Hey, if you don't make them go away, I'll cast a spell. Or make that park bench chase after them." Wes hated pigeons, they were dirty and when he was a kid, one pooped on him when he was swinging at the park. "I swear, if one poops on me..." he muttered, bringing back that horribly memory.
"Some people pay good money to get bird poop facials, Wes." Very matter of fact, Phil nodded his head and was pretty much a smart ass about it. "Look, if I scare them away, you have to ... plug up your nose or something." Phil hoped that one day, he'd be able to zero in on a certain target with his pheromones. But as for right now? That wasn't an option. "Or... or you could cast a spell." That might be kind of cool. Even if Phil wasn't into the whole magic thing-- he believed it was some sort of reality manipulation or something. It's not magic.
"Yeah. Cast a spell." He wants to see this!
Wes frowned in thought. He could cast a spell, but which one? "Something tells me, putting them in another dimension isn't such a hot idea." He muttered. "Although, I've only done that once." he admitted. He's honest enough with Phil.
"OK, I can try this.... " And he lightly muttered a few incantations to himself and in the palm of his hand was a mini cyclone that whipped about. "I'll 'blow' them away." Well, it was a spell that would get rid of them!
Phil clapped, like a little kid at a magic show. "Yes! That's humane and hilarious. Er-- I mean, practical." Putting them in another dimension would be mean! Or ... you know, it would really anger the people in the other dimension. Phil is fascinated by this. But it's not the time for that!
Wes let it go and the cyclone whipped in front of them sucking up pigeon wherever it touched until most of the birds were sucked up. Dirty feathers were everywhere. It was really quite disgusting. "Ack! RUN!"
"... away from the birds, correct?" Phil just wanted to make sure. You never know! Maybe they need to run towards the birds, part of the spell.
Wes gave Phil a look and yanked him as they ran away from the birds.
"Ow!" He wasn't hurt, Phil just usually says OW when someone touches him. "We should go inside somewhere. Birds aren't allowed inside most buildings."
Wes wouldn't have touched him if a bird wasn't flying for his head. "The train station!" He pointed, assuming this was best and let go of Phil, assuming that he was running with him.
Wes only touches the ladies, right? Phil ran with Wes, heading inside the train station. Once inside, a lot of travelers looked at them like they were nuts. Phil had a coffee stain and a few feathers in his head. He probably looked like a crackhead of some sort. "So, are we getting a train?"
Wes is yes, all about the ladies, but sheesh, he didn't hurt Phil. He retracts the hand.
Wes looks back at Phil and his question. "Do you have a ticket?" He asks a bit sarcastically. "I just don't want to get pecked to death by some irate bird and his gang."
Phil looks a little sad. "No." He wants to ride a train. "I'm sorry about the bird gang. We need to get some cats or something! Yeah!" Phil makes a claw with his hand, "Buncha cats."
"Well, your Dad is the cat man and Tigra is out of town. So, if we can find a mangy old stray or Mutt miraculously transports Houdini and Henning, we're out of luck there." Wes sees the sadness wondering where the heck Phil would want to go?
Phil just likes trains! "Let's just run out there, hail a taxi and get the hell out of dodge?" Go back to the Academy, where somehow: less strange things happen.
But it was too late, suddenly, flocks of pigeons burst through the doors, flapping and walking and having one target: Phil and Wes. Ok, so that is two, but there are standing together.
Phil grabbed Wes by the collar of his shirt and dove behind a bench. "Look, seriously, dude? That's not my fault." Pigeons don't love Phil that much!
"Yeah, you're cool and all, but pigeons can't be that into you." Wes slowly and calmly wrestled out of Phil's grip. "I see it now: 'two members f super team, X-Factor mauled by flying rats.'" He sighed. "I have bird poop in my hair don't I?"