Log: Jack, Phil, & Benjy Who: Jack Murdock, Phil McCoy, & Benjy Parker When: Afternoon, Wednesday, May 7 Where: Wisdom & Murdock's history classroom What: Phil sneaks in to see Jack teach and then bothers him for a bit. He finds out Jack's Catholic, which isn't a problem except that Phil's a hardcore Atheist. They have a nice little chat involving religion, Phil's brother, Jack's codename, and the things they don't know about each other. Oh, and then Benjy pops in.
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Phil liked school. When he was very young, school consisted of listening to his father talk for several hours on end. It usually also involved a peanut butter and jelly sandwich break. He was a very patient child. His attention span was far longer than most children's. Eventually, the First Five's kids, the X-Men founder's spawn, the new generation, they got older and started attending classes taught by Xavier and other alumni. Phil was off getting well adjusted in public school. It was so very distracting.
Today, Phil was bringing a thermos of coffee to his dad. He noticed Pete Wisdom lurking about in the teacher's lounge. That meant Jack was probably tending to his class. He's dating a teacher. He often forgets that.
Phil sneaks into the classroom while Jack is doing this thing. He's glad the class is almost over as he's unable to sit still for once. Phil can still keep his attention on a teacher, still enjoys being instructed. He loves learning, loves listening. But Jack is making him want to hold up a sign from the back of the class: "What color underwear are you wearing?" Wouldn't that be inappropriate? Maybe next time.
When the class ends, Phil stays seated until every student is gone. He waits until he can't smell anyone lingering in the hall. He waits, then strides over to Jack with a focus in his eyes. He sees something he really wants. Phil decides to keep his hands to himself but cannot. Instead, he grabs the material of Jack's pants pocket and pulls him a few inches closer.
"Mr. Murdock, I haven't got my homework today--" But his fingers brush up against something in Jack's pocket that is distracting. Because he cannot identify it.
Jack's a decent teacher. He's young, he's inexperienced, and he has a tendency to get so caught up that sometimes he can lose his class in his enthusiasm----obscure references that the students wouldn't know, that kind of thing. But he's engaging, and that's better than boring, right? He even slipped into Old English, but he might have just been showing off for Phil, once he found his words again. When Phil had snuck in, Jack had stopped short and just stared for a second with his blank little smile. And then, of course, resumed, backtracking a little to find himself. He's not a very strict teacher, again, because he's young, and he tends to let a lot of behavior slide even though he can hear notes being passed and people talking or text messaging. He hasn't gotten the guts to actually be a disciplinarian.
But... class is over and Phil is moving over to him and Jack swats him on the shoulder. Sexy as it is (he loves when Phil gets all predatory)---- "Hey----heyyyy, classroom," he mumbles, while Phil's hand is fishing around in his pocket. The hell?
Phil is confused by boundaries. He usually was good at having them. Keeping his hands off of people, making sure that when he spoke, his topics stayed kosher. But Jack makes him want to touch all the time. Made him want to talk about things you don't talk about in public.
So his fingers keep fishing and he pulls out a rosary.
He raises an eyebrow, completely exaggerating, "Jewelry, Jack?" Haha what the heck.
Jack can't tell if Phil is joking around or if he's serious, and he curls his fingers around the beads to take them back. "It's my rosary," he says, probably unnecessarily. And it's a nice one, too. Dark wood, well-made ... beat-up, but well-made. Looks old.
Yes, Phil. Jack is Catholic. Daddy was Catholic, his grandfather was Catholic. His grandmother? His grandmother is a nun. She's still alive, too. Jack hasn't told you this, has he? No, probably not. He's private about his religion. He's not nearly as religious as his father had been, but it was all ingrained in him when he was a kid. It's like a habit he can't break.
"I ... didn't realize you were religious." Phil doesn't really know how to respond. It's no big deal. Really. Hank is Episcopalian. He just didn't feel the need to pass his religion onto his son. Phil also never witnessed his father going to church, even when his mother was on her death bed.
Not that it would have helped, would it have? "Religious enough to carry that around, at least." How come he didn't know this?
Jack doesn't go to church all that often these days. He does, though. He attends Mass once in a while. He goes to Confession. He ... y'know. Sometimes. Not all the time. Is Phil looking at him funny? Jack twists the beads around his fingers and it's obvious he's used to holding them. "I just ..." Is he embarrassed? He sure looks embarrassed. "I don't carry it around all the time."
Yes, he does.
Phil is indeed looking at him funny. He clears his throat, "I didn't think you would be." He doesn't want to say 'I thought you were too smart for that' considering his father believes in God. Maybe he doesn't anymore, Phil's never asked.
"What? Why?" Jack blinks, startled. He looks down at the cross on the rosary, brushing his thumb against it. "I mean, I'm not that religious, I just ... I mean, I'm pretty much going to Hell anyway." He laughs hoarsely and shoves his hand in his pocket. Yeah. He believes in Hell, too, but over the years he's pretty much come to terms with the fact that that's where he's heading.
Phil shrugs, "You never talk about it." There's a lot of stuff they don't talk about, apparently. "I don't believe in God. Is that a problem?" He says this like he knows it won't be. But he does say it, so he thinks maybe there will be a slight problem.
Jack blinks. Oh. Oh. "What?" He laughs. "Please, like I care." Good, Phil, because you're going to go to Hell, too, and you'll be with Jack, which means Hell will be a lot more bearable.
He pauses. "But I do. Is that a problem?" Slightly challenging.
"No... not a problem." We just can't ever speak about it or you'll get owned by logic.
"Good," Jack says. "My, um." Heh. His cheeks are bright red. "My grandmother's a nun."
Phil laughs... oh wait, Jack is serious. "Your dad dressed like a devil..." You Murdocks are apparently insane!
"Yeah, I know, there's religious imagery all over the place," Jack mutters. "My dad's mom? After he was born she up and ran off. Abandoned him, left him alone with my grandfather. Dad thought she was dead for a long time... she looked over him but.. y'know. Not like a mom. So she's still alive, I know she's around... occasionally I go see her but she really doesn't know me."
"And she's still a nun?" It's a stupid question, and he knows it. "--Do you go to church? When do you go to church?" Phil wonders what else he doesn't know about Jack... "Cripes, Jack, when's your birthday? Your middle name?" He's been fucking a stranger!
"I----" Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jack backs up against the desk, hands up like Phil's gonna explode or something. "My birthday's March seventh, my middle name's Donovan, I go to church whenever I feel like going to church, sometimes every couple weeks. What do you want to know? I'll tell you, you know."
"You're very nearly exactly a year older than me." Phil... smiles, because it's sweet. "--Donovan? The Atlantis guy?" Man, Jack's parents were hippies or something, weren't they? "Really. It's not a big deal. If it helps you out, it helps you out." Even if Phil firmly believes there isn't a God. He's not going to lose respect for Jack. He hasn't lost respect for his dad. He just... really doesn't get it. Especially since Jack's gay and apparently the God types don't like that?
"The who guy?" Jack stares at him. "No ... no, my mom's last name is Donovan." He chuckles a little and folds his arms across his chest. "Mom's not much for the religion, either, but I was raised by my Dad, and... y'know. Catholic. Catholic, Catholic, Catholic." He shrugs. "Which... yeah, I know, it's contradictory. With the gay thing. I know that."
"Scar on your chest." It's like he's demanding an answer.
The color drains from his face and he covers his chest with his hand. "It's just a scar, no big deal." Lie. Lie. Lie.
"I know when you're lying." Phil folds his arms, to match Jack. Apparently he struck gold with the scar question!
Jack averts his eyes, turning his attention toward the floor. "I was twelve," he mutters. "I went to see my mom, there was an argument, she hit me with her cane, it..." It had been a bad, bad day. With him bleeding on the floor and both parents ignoring him. Horrible day. The scar wasn't nearly as bad as his memory of what happened. "It was all sharp on the bottom, the rubber wore off, so..." A vague, helpless gesture.
Now Phil feels like an asshole. He grimaces and reaches out for Jack, "I'm sorry, I didn't know..." Obviously, which is why he asked! "I've never been to church.You think maybe you can take me next time?" This is the exact same thing Phil did when Rosie was crying. Making lame promises. "--So I can nap, of course." Maybe that joke didn't help any, maybe it did. Jack tends to get Phil's dry jokes. Sometimes, even Pete doesn't get them.
Jack lifts his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He can tell it's a joke. "Yeah," he says, taking the challenge for what it is. "I'll take you to church, Phil." Go on, chicken out, McCoy.
"I'll get all dressed up." Oh, you like that, Jackie?
"You'll go to Confession." Jack grins slowly. Go on, chicken out.
"I don't really have anything to confess." He's not going to back down. "--Why Quixote?" OH. GOT YOU.
Uh. Duh. "Hello. Don Quixote? Cervantes? Normal guy thinks he's a knight, runs around fighting windmills... I thought it was ironic." Jack smiles awkwardly. "Come on. It's good. You have to admit it's good. Windmills...?" COME ON! It's so esoteric it's pathetic.
Phil slowly shakes his head, "All right, big guy." He pats Jack's shoulder.
"Oh, come on. Like Mongrel isn't cleverly self-deprecating," Jack says, catching Phil's hand with his own.
"My father was Beast. It only makes sense." He has a point there. Dammit.
"Believe me, I exhausted all of the Daredevil possibilities and they were all stupid," Jack insists. He kisses Phil's knuckles lovingly. "When's your birthday. What's your middle name. Why don't you believe in God?"
"My dad called me Pup while I called him Pop for awhile..." Yeah, Pup is the worst codename ever. "You could be..." No, he's got nothing for Daredevil. Phil watches Jack kiss his hand with great fondness. "April 11th... Remember?" Gosh. Phil doesn't care, it was a stupid birthday anyway. "My middle name is David. Ha! We both have D names..." He's amused by that. "And. Uh. I don't want to offend you."
Oh, right. Jack remembers Phil's birthday. He remembers because he was heartbroken right afterward. He remembers. Definitely. Right. Actually, he... had a birthday present for Phil, hidden under his bed. But after finding out about Rosie he just kind of kicked it under there and forgot about it. It's a stupid present, anyway.
"Offend me? Come on. Whatever. I want to know." He kisses the inside of Phil's wrist. "I won't argue with you."
"Classroom, Murdock." He doesn't take his hand away, though. Well. He asked for it. "I think God is something man made up to make himself feel better. I don't believe in souls. Or karma. Or heaven. I think love is just a chemical reaction. Bad things happen to good people because bad things happen."
Jack listens to this, and it's not unexpected. Phil's all science-like and kind of jaded. "You think love is just a chemical reaction?" he asks, somewhat flirtatious about it because he doesn't want to take him seriously.
Phil blinks slowly and swallows hard. "Uh. Yeah." He realizes now, he shouldn't have said such a thing to someone he's said that he loves. To someone that he does love. He does.
"Really...?" Jack's not all that flirtatious now, though his lips are still against Phil's wrist. Not that Jack thinks love is some kind of god-given thing, but he's a historian. He believes in the human experience and there being something beyond ... chemicals and pheromones and science.
"I mean. I .. I don't know, Jackie, you're making me wonder about a lot of different things. I was happy being alone and as far as anyone was concerned, straight until I met you. It's not written in stone. Maybe we're not just a bunch of hairless apes." Phil quickly glances at the door. Not that he was hoping anyone was there. But it would be kind of nice to be able to break away from this conversation.
Jack smiles quietly, tugging Phil in by the collar in order to kiss him. "If love's just a chemical reaction, it's a damn good chemical reaction."
Breaking the kiss long enough to say, "---My dad had Pete ask me if I was high today." Chemicals indeed!
Jack laughs, nuzzling him. "Philip David McCoy! Were you really?" Of course not. Phil's so straight-laced.
Phil laughs too, kissing Jack's nose-- purely accidentally. "You like that? Sounds good all strung together-- And no. You give me good moods. And I saw you were hassling Pete. At the same time I was." Phil wonders if they're hanging out too much. If there's such a thing as too much Jack.
Jack blushes brightly. "I feel bad. That was presumptuous of me, wasn't it? I shouldn't hassle your brother." He tilts his head, pulling back to get a better look at Phil. "Did you know I talked to him? I dropped my laptop off... I don't remember telling you. I don't know how he feels about me, I just realize that... hassling him probably isn't my place." It probably looks mean instead of friendly. He means it in a nice way.
"If you were agitating him or being rude... I would tell you." He'd tell you with a right hook to the jaw! "Pete doesn't ... he doesn't really feel a lot about people, so I wouldn't worry if I were you." Phil didn't know that Jack actually did take his laptop to Pete. Awkward. "I forgot to tell you-- He knows that... well, he knows I was staying in your room, so he deducted that we are together." Pete is a freaking genius, am I right?
"He what?" Jack blinks sharply. "Oh. Oh, thank God. I didn't know, so I... well, I'm sure I looked like a jackass, I did a whole lot of talking around myself and making an idiot of myself and asking him awkward clone questions. But as long as I know he's weird----I mean, as long as I know he's that way around everyone, and it's not just me, I won't feel so bad." He desperately wants Pete to like him. He feels bad that he takes Phil away. Not that Phil doesn't spend plenty of time with his brother, it's just... he knows what happens when you start dating someone. "I just know he's the most important person in your life and... makes me wanna look good." He smiles lamely.
Phil closes the space between them to kiss Jack. Really kiss Jack. It's such a sweet sentiment. Phil and Pete have a weird relationship. Not creepy like May and Jack, or anything like that. It's just Pete is Phil's clone. Pete acts certain ways because he's seen Phil do it, or because he was raised in a tub of goo. It's enough to make most people shy away. But Jack is going to try, and he's going to try for him.
Oh. They're in a classroom, aren't they? Again? Gee.
Jack apparently doesn't care, because he's really kissing Phil back, his hands resting against Phil's hips. Classes are over, no one's going to bug them. And if someone does come by, Jack will hear it. Super senses and all. Phil's braver by the day and Jack's not about to discourage that. Pete intimidates Jack. A lot. But if making the effort means that maybe he'll earn Pete's trust, maybe even a modicum of something resembling affection, and if it means Phil will kiss him like this ... it's worth the intimidation and the incredible awkwardness.
"So now your family knows. See? Not so hard, is it?" Jack smiles, giving Phil another brief kiss. Phil seems to have gotten off easy with the coming-out thing. Pete's emotionless and indifferent and Hank already knew. Oh, and hey, Phil got some cake out of it, too, even if he lost twenty dollars. "I'm really proud of you."
How did Hank already know? "As well you should be." Not really. Phil didn't have to do much of anything!
Jack tilts his head and smiles a little, sliding his hands into Phil's back pockets. "See? This whole being gay thing isn't actually that bad," he says quietly. "There's no... waking up in the morning and realizing you're a different person." He shrugs. "I'm probably going to go to Hell and so are you, but you don't believe in God so you don't believe in Hell, which is mighty convenient for you. If you're right, then we'll die and turn to dust and nothing will happen. If I'm right, we'll burn in everlasting fire and be tortured for all eternity, but we'll be with the really fun people."
He grins. See? They can get along even with wildly different theological views. Catholics date Atheists all the time!
"Everlasting fire? I don't even like it when the thermostat up too high..." Phil likes this. This... being open with each other and standing around somewhere that isn't Jack's bedroom. He leans forward to kiss Jack's earlobe. Just a little bit. Shh.
Jack lets out a little noise, nuzzling Phil's neck. He loves this closeness, this quiet intimacy, and... yeah, he likes the fact that they're not shut away in his bedroom. "Well, it's what you get for being an Atheist," he mumbles, grinning against Phil's skin. "And for being gay, that kind of helps." He's joking around about it----it would probably be bad to launch into a real serious discussion at the moment. He doesn't want to. No debate necessary.
"I've got stuff to do----" Whatever. Phil kissing his ear feels too nice. He's not making the slightest move to pull away.
"Stuff to do... wait, are you talking about me? Jack Donovan Murdock!" He breathes into Jack's ear and moves down. He starts giving little kisses to Jack's neck that end in bites.
"Phil!" Jack's hands squeeze and tense up----now who's the nervous, private one?----and he only succeeds in tugging Phil a little closer. Maybe he can afford to be a little bit indulgent. A little bit. If Phil's not flipping out. If Phil is not flipping out... oh, come on. He lets his eyes drift shut and allows himself a little groan. Bites. He likes that. He can handle that.
It's funny. Jack can claim that no one can sneak up on him, that it's totally impossible----but Jack has to have his focus right in order for that to happen. He can hear a lot of heartbeats right now, none of them very close except for Phil's. Moving around, going about their business... footsteps walking by but not slowing near the classroom. He can hear all that but when Phil is messing around with him it's not like he's really focusing on what's going on outside.
"HEY! Hey, Jackie, I left my----"
Benjy Parker has come bounding down the hall and he skids to a stop in the doorway. Whatever he's saying----he left his what?----dies in his throat, because that's Jack... right, Jack's there, like he should be, but there's Phil McCoy of all people kissing his neck. And Jack has his hands in Phil's pockets. And they're really... really close together. There's no way he could possibly be misinterpreting this.
He gasps, his hand covering his mouth and his eyes wide. Ever-so-melodramatically: "Oh, Bones."
Phil pushes away from Jack, maybe a little too quickly. "Corn-- er, Benjy!" There's a pause, it feels far too long. Phil puts his arm around Jack's waist... "Hi Benjy. Sorry about that." He's not going to lie, he's not going to ... well, he already shoved Jack away. Sorry. Oops.
Jack stumbled into the desk when Phil shoved him, and he was prepared to just sit down and pretend like Benjy's insane----but... oh. Oh, hey. Phil's slid his arm around his waist and ... seriously? The corner of his mouth twitches and he glances at Phil before slowly, he slides his arm around Phil in turn.
Benjy is practically vibrating with energy, his feet wiggling against the floor and his eyes even wider than they were before. He's quiet, incredibly quiet, and then he just can't contain it any more. He bursts like a firecracker.
"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!"
The corner of Phil's mouth jerks up, "...No, Benjy, I was giving him mouth to mouth..." He shakes his head, "Naw, um, we're... together?" He looks to Jack. This is all right, right?
Jack grins. This is more than all right. "It, ah. Y----"
Benjy doesn't let Jack finish, because he's so busy laughing. "No freaking way! No freaking way! Jackie..." With Jack and May how they are, Jack's really like a big brother to Benjy, and Phil's... well, Phil is just cool, taking care of Benjy's foot and being an awkward science nerd too, and all that. Okay, maybe not cool. Phil's so uncool he's cool? Yeah?
"Does May know? Does May know without me knowing? How long? How----does my dad know? Bones! Does your dad know? Are you in looooooove?"
Oh, he's going to be completely insufferable. Jack buries his face against Phil's shoulder. "Hey----Hey, Benjy?" He lifts his head again. "Notches. Take it down a few." Benjy has a hard time hearing and Jack hears far too well, which generally means that Benjy is a few decibels too loud for Jack. "This isn't something we want plastered all over the place." Not because they're ashamed! They're just private people. Come on.
Benjy gives Jack two thumbs up. "Totes. I get it, man. On the D.L. But then again maybe you shouldn't be necking in your classroom."
Phil's ears are a little red. Should he go back and answer Benjy's questions? Because a lot of those were 'yes'es. Maybe it's for the greater good if Phil just gets lost. "You've got a good point there, Benjy." Phil looks at Jack, "You had stuff to do?" And back to Benjy, "And you forgot something?"
"Right," says Jack, "I just had some stuff to put away and then----"
"I LEFT MY ERASER," Benjy blurts out.
"Notches, Benjamin!"
Benjy covers his mouth with his hands, snickering as silently as he can, and then he creeps over to the desk that he's claimed as his for history classes. He rummages around until he finds his eraser, shoves it in his pocket, and then he's hustling for the door. He stops, turns back. "Too funny, guys. You just..." He wiggles a little, hands balled into fists, like he can't figure out how to put things into words. "You keep on doin' what you're doin'." Thumbs up! And then he's gone.
Jack grimaces. He loves Benjy. He doesn't care if Benjy knows, but he wants to swat him like a little bug sometimes. He glances at Phil.