May 12th - Tug of War Title: Tug of War Rating: PG Author:veracity Fandom: Stargate Atlantis Characters: Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan Disclaimer: Just playing in the neighbor’s sandbox. Spoilers: Season 4; specifically, “Be All My Sins Remember’d” Summary: Sometimes the struggle doesn’t end the way you want. Notes: This didn't turn out like I planned. Went a little more sideways than planned, which might be good for certain characters. Prompt: Stargate Atlantis, Teyla Emmagan and Elizabeth Weir, "The face of the enemy frightens me only when I see how much it resembles me"
She looks in the mirror; there is a crack running down the middle, an anomaly in this place. The edges are dirty, rusted out; obviously a salvage from an Ancient ship. Anything less than perfection isn’t allowed in an Asuran ship.
The crack distorts the reflected image. One side looks a little more human, like she used to be, with a chip near the center; the other looks perfect, not a blemish or line out of place. Sometimes when she looks in it, another person appears behind her. The possibilities are endless, but four people appear more than most. She can’t help but think that she failed them. News about her old crew arrives monthly, but each time another part of old attachment slips away.
Behind her, an officer comes in, relaying a message about some Wraith attacking a planet full of children. She jerks around, stares at him and barks order to get there as quickly as possible and save them. A kaleidoscope of images spring to mind: Rodney gesturing wildly because of the incompetence of children; Major Sheppard describing Keras; Lieutenant Ford chattering about the effects of chocolate on kids and women; Teyla sitting quietly back, so serious about a planet full of self-sacrificing children; and Dr. Zelenka arriving from the planet covered in paint and feathers. A quick, half-sob escapes her before turns away from the mirror.
According to her new crew – new species even – attachments only hold one back. Robots, even hybrids like the Asurans, do not have emotions, and slowly hers are disappearing. In corner of the room sits a piece of Wraith armor, for study and reminder. Once upon a time, she hated guns, war, and violence. Now, in this new form, she enjoys it; thrives even. Those hard-nosed lines no longer exist; they’re blurring together and some are disappearing completely. The more she survives, the more she loses humanity. Somehow she’s becoming like those she’s fought for so long. And the unexpected result is she doesn’t mind the change.
On the way to the bridge, she passes a window looking outside into space. Along the hyperspace blue, a face appears. Soft features, compassionate and questioning eyes, a slightly down turned mouth; it’s a haunting face that never leaves. The fact she’s disappointing the face stabs close to what used to be her heart. Elizabeth knows the face blames itself for the actions that brought Elizabeth to this place; for the decision to argue that saving Atlantis was a higher priority than maybes and probabilities.
When humanity starts to fade away quickly, the face appears. Funny that her subconscious picked Teyla, since it would have been the old Elizabeth’s confident in discussing all this. During the beginning, facing all the destruction that she’s caused since the change, tea with Teyla is missed dearly. As the assimilation occurs faster, she misses those friendship moments less and less. And she knows to Teyla of her mind, she’s becoming the enemy. Soon there will be nothing connecting them and Oberoth will have won, regardless of being alive or pieces floating around an exploded planet.
That is the day the old Elizabeth that lives inside doesn’t want to happen, because then she dies and it will be as if she never existed in this galaxy. The friend would become an enemy and the struggle to make this new Weir different will have been for nothing.