Title: Bagenders: U.S. - Chapter 1: House of the Rising Sun
Author:![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
hermit9
Fandom: LOTR
Type: FPS
Rating: G-PG
Warnings: Very silly
Words: ~9,000
A/N: "Bagenders" belongs to Lady Alyssa and Random Dent/Flatmate, whoever they are. They abandoned this series ages ago and many have taken up the torch after them but it was never quite the same. All who loved the Bagenders have their own ideas about the way it would have gone if they had written more. This spin off is definitely not what they would have done. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
If you never read the Original I highly recommend it. The original site is more or less in the toilet but I managed to scrape them together and archive them here.
If you don't feel like prerequisite reading or you have read the original but have lost all memory of it due to binge drinking, binge binging, or binge bowling (pins to the head good for amnesia I hear), here's a brief, and possibly inaccurate synopsis: The Fellowship were granted eternal life as a reward for saving Middle Earth (except for Boromir since he died before they did most of the really heroic stuff, but he comes to visit now and then). So it's just them and the elves (who already live forever so it wasn't much of a reward for Legolas, bloody Valar) and the rest of us oblivious humans. They've gone their separate ways at times but they always end up back together, and for the better part of the last decade they were sharing a cramped flat in the North of England working blue collar jobs, getting arrested, committed, hit by buses, avoiding ex's and in-laws, and getting drunk at Elrond's karaoke parties. Aragorn and Arwen split up ages ago but she keeps in touch just enough to keep Aragorn bitchy. Legolas has been pushing a refreshment trolly on the train and swatting away fawning girls while maintaining a fragile grip on his elfish dignity. Merry and Pippin have employed themselves as people who get fired from jobs, Frodo is mentally unstable, and Sam takes care of Frodo and the garden. Gandalf is a drunken old codger, and Gimli works nights to avoid the rest of them. Not too long ago, while digging through Pippin's extensive collection of pornography, Legolas discovered some rather old and bawdy doodles penned by none other than Leonardo "Arse Grabber" DaVinci which he sold for a tidy profit. He used this windfall to buy the fellowship a new, spacious home with a relaxing room all to himself with a little motorized waterfall on the desk and some of those nice bamboo drawings on the walls. Aside from the odd existential crisis and the occasional fireball in the kitchen, their lives seemed destined to settle down a bit after that....
( Read more... )
Author:
hermit9Fandom: LOTR
Type: FPS
Rating: G-PG
Warnings: Very silly
Words: ~9,000
A/N: "Bagenders" belongs to Lady Alyssa and Random Dent/Flatmate, whoever they are. They abandoned this series ages ago and many have taken up the torch after them but it was never quite the same. All who loved the Bagenders have their own ideas about the way it would have gone if they had written more. This spin off is definitely not what they would have done. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
If you never read the Original I highly recommend it. The original site is more or less in the toilet but I managed to scrape them together and archive them here.
If you don't feel like prerequisite reading or you have read the original but have lost all memory of it due to binge drinking, binge binging, or binge bowling (pins to the head good for amnesia I hear), here's a brief, and possibly inaccurate synopsis: The Fellowship were granted eternal life as a reward for saving Middle Earth (except for Boromir since he died before they did most of the really heroic stuff, but he comes to visit now and then). So it's just them and the elves (who already live forever so it wasn't much of a reward for Legolas, bloody Valar) and the rest of us oblivious humans. They've gone their separate ways at times but they always end up back together, and for the better part of the last decade they were sharing a cramped flat in the North of England working blue collar jobs, getting arrested, committed, hit by buses, avoiding ex's and in-laws, and getting drunk at Elrond's karaoke parties. Aragorn and Arwen split up ages ago but she keeps in touch just enough to keep Aragorn bitchy. Legolas has been pushing a refreshment trolly on the train and swatting away fawning girls while maintaining a fragile grip on his elfish dignity. Merry and Pippin have employed themselves as people who get fired from jobs, Frodo is mentally unstable, and Sam takes care of Frodo and the garden. Gandalf is a drunken old codger, and Gimli works nights to avoid the rest of them. Not too long ago, while digging through Pippin's extensive collection of pornography, Legolas discovered some rather old and bawdy doodles penned by none other than Leonardo "Arse Grabber" DaVinci which he sold for a tidy profit. He used this windfall to buy the fellowship a new, spacious home with a relaxing room all to himself with a little motorized waterfall on the desk and some of those nice bamboo drawings on the walls. Aside from the odd existential crisis and the occasional fireball in the kitchen, their lives seemed destined to settle down a bit after that....
( Read more... )