Boy (noun) a noise with dirt on it (DC comics) Len/Mick
Title: Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it Author: Seftimiu aka Brain Freeze Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money off of it. Warning: It's a kidfic, beware the cuteness and fluff! Notes: Sequel to Kids will be Kids
He felt cramped.
That was the first thing he noticed. He was cramped up.
He didn't open his eyes, instead taking stock of the situation first. He wasn't injured. He wasn't cold. If anything? He was overheated. And not because he wore a parka in the middle of summer. He was in bed. But he wasn't alone.
In fact? There was an elbow in his back, and something on his legs.
Someone, was snoring.
But whomever was snoring, wasn't behind him.
He was in bed with several someones!
He cracked his eye open and was appalled to realize that someone was drooling on his pillow, and it wasn't him!
Little George had stolen his pillow some time in the night and was curled up on it. Next to him, a tanned arm thrown over the top of the other little boy was Wee Roy who was the source of the snoring.
Carefully, Len sat up. As he did so, the elbow that had prodded him awake on accident, revealed that it was attached to Giovanni. The boy was sprawled out on that side, but curled next to him, was Hartley. On the other side of Hartley, was Axel!
Len tried to scoot out of the bed toward the bottom, but found he had to stand up and step out of the bed to do so. Because the unknown and not at all talkative boy was on the foot of the bed with Sam, who was located in the bathroom, asleep in the bathtub later in the evening the night before.
Len stumbled off the bed and onto the floor after carefully stepping over the two at the end of the bed and looked back to witness everyone seeming to converge on the middle by rolling toward the warm spot.
A pile of baby Rogues, his sleepy brain informed him.
He looked toward the crib on the other side of the room and smiled softly at the sleeping baby girl within it. Lisa was asleep on her back, her little fists beside her head. She'd kicked her blanket off some time in the night, and he carefully pulled it over her and tucked her in.
Turning once more toward his shanghaied bed, he shook his head slowly. They'd put the kids down in bed in other parts of the safe-house. Some time during the night, they'd snuck in.
Oh, the wonderful smell of coffee!
Nice and strong. And unbearably hot, no doubt. Because if Heat Wave made it, Len had no doubt he'd have to either put some ice cubes in it, or wait an hour before he could drink it. Ice was the only way to go.
"Morning." Mick greeted, a cup ready for Len as soon as he appeared. "Sleep well?"
By the smirk, Len knew damn well Mick knew where the kids were.
"Little crowded for my taste! Why did they converge on me?" Len tried to tell himself that he was not whining. He was lying to himself.
"You have the biggest bed? I dunno." Mick shrugged, but the way he was smiling? Len could almost hear the words 'better you than me'.
"Heard anything on the news yet?" Len stretched and reached for the freezer, pulling out the ice cube tray.
The radio was playing low, sitting on the counter. The weather was going to be 'hot and sticky' today, with a chance of rain in the afternoon.
"Not yet. But it can't just be happening to us, can it?" Mick shook his head, but looked thoughtful. "What are we going to do with them?"
"No idea. But it isn't like we can call any of their parents. Most of them have died, or the Rogues in question want nothing to do with them." Len watched the ice cube melt in his cup of coffee and frowned. "And I'll be damned before I let anyone else lay hands on Lisa."
"We have eight mini-Rogues, and only three of us are adults watching them." Mick pointed out. "Mark is asleep upstairs, by the way. He stayed up watching CNN, just in case something showed up on the news overnight. Closest he came to hearing anything of interest was that the JLA were 'scrambling' their communications for the next twenty-four hours. They warned the authorities, in case they thought something was amiss." He shrugged.
"Maybe it's happening to them, too?" Len sipped his coffee and rubbed his eyes.
"Sh!" Mick reached over and turned the radio up.
"Reports are filtering in via anonymous sources that--"
"HUNGY!" Georgie bellowed upon entering the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.
"George!" Len sighed, exasperated. "We're trying to hear the news!"
"Hunnnnngy." George pouted as he insisted on climbing into Len's lap.
Len stared, disconcerted at the boy in his lap, but then tried to focus on the news report.
"The Justice League has promised a--"
"Ho fame!" Giovanni announced as he stepped into the kitchen.
Len slumped, and swallowed the curse word that was trying to slip through his lips. "Did you catch any of that?" Len asked Mick.
Mick shook his head just as Axel and Hartley entered. Hartley was holding Axel's hand as they joined Giovanni. "I think they're going to have a press conference, which if that's the case, then maybe that means they're having kids pop up on them too."
"Ho fame!" Giovanni repeated, tugging on Mick's shirt.
"I'm going to venture a guess, and say he's hungry." Len was still looking down at George who was now leaning back against his chest, his eyes closed and dozing.
"We're going to have to go to the store some time today." Mick pulled a pot down from the cabinet and put it on the stove. "The kids are going to need stuff. Like clothes, soap, food, more car-seats, booster seats. I don't even know what else! I'll have to make a list, and maybe rob a bank. For once because I'll need to to pay for all this!"
"We're going to need diapers too." Len prodded George with a finger. The boy shifted to the side and curled up more in his lap, rubbing his head against his chest. Cuddling. "This is just too disturbing." He pronounced before gently putting his arms around the boy.
Giovanni, pouted, arms over his chest and them stomped over, climbing into his lap as well.
"Ohhhhh, jealousy!" Mick sounded amused as he measured out the water to boil.
"What the hell?" Len stared down at Giovanni, who was glaring at George. "Hey now, no fighting." He warned the Italian boy, who while he didn't understand English, still understood tone.
Len put one arm around Gio and the other around George. "How the hell did I end up like this?"
"Well, you're the leader, so, maybe in their little minds that puts you as... you know... head of the household." Mick suggested, pulling out the oatmeal and the sugar and butter.
"Nice way of saying 'father figure'?" Len half asked just as more kids were tumbling into the kitchen.
"Come on, I'm running out of lap!" Len protested as Axel tried to climb between George and Gio. "Mick!"
Mick dried his hands and scooped Axel up in his arms, depositing him on the counter a safe distance from the stove, but still nearby. He gave the boy a mixing spoon and an empty bowl.
As Mick mixed the oatmeal into the bubbling water, stirring it, Axel mimicked his actions with his own bowl and spoon.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
"Hartley!" Len stood up quickly, a kid in each arm before he set them down on their feet. "Hartley!"
The boy was playing, with pots and pans. Banging them together as loud as he could. "HARTLEY!" He called, even though logically, he knew the boy couldn't hear him. He knelt down in front of him and waved his hands, and then put them on top of Hartley's, halting the banging.
"We have to figure out a way of communicating with him." Mick wiggled his finger in his ear. "Does he know any sign language?"
"Do you?" Len snorted.
"Not really, but..."
Len tried to think of anything he knew. Oh! Thank you. He remembered that! He'd seen it on television.
He tried it, and Hartley just tilted his head. "I don't think he knows. His parents probably didn't teach him anything, because that would be admitting defeat or something." Len grimaced.
Len mouthed the word 'thank you' and repeated the sign. Then he smiled and gave a 'thumbs up'. That, Hartley seemed to understand!
Blowing out a slow breath, Len looked up at Mick. "I think we're going to have to learn sign language and get him taught. It's the only way this is going to work out. Look, you feed them, and I'll go hit the Google and see what I can figure out."
Hartley banged on a pot again, and Len winced. "I'll... try to find him something quieter to play with first." He gently picked Hartley up and carried him into the main room.
While on the computer he was also checking various news sources, to see if this was more widespread.
He was almost relieved to read that there were reports coming in from all across the United States of various people of the superhero and supervillian set coming back as children or being de-aged.
The main concentration appeared to be in the midwest, but there was a few concentrated spots in places such as New Jersey and New York. California was also a 'hot-spot'.
He alternated between research on sign language and looking for more information on what the authorities and scientists thought of the situation. By the time Mick came into the living room area to fetch Hartley for breakfast, Len already had a headache.
"Grammar. I have to learn more grammar. Great." Len groaned, rubbing his forehead. "I do good with what I know, in other words, not!"
He watched some videos, showing some simple signs. They'd just have to start out slow, and work their way into more complex stuff later. For now, he needed to make contact with the kid.
Squaring his shoulders, he reminded himself about what the articles and videos said about letting his face be animated, and he went into the kitchen. He smiled down at Hartley, and pulled a chair up beside him. He nibbled his lip and looked at the table, and then at the glass in front of him. He picked it up and drank a sip. Then he put it down and put his hand in the same position as he had to drink from the glass and mimed drinking. "Drink." He said it where all the kids could hear him say it. And then did the sign a few times. He pointed at Hartley.
Smiling, he did the sign a few more times, and then drank from the glass.
Giovanni sat up straight and did the sign quickly, and Len handed him a glass to drink from.
Tentatively, Hartley repeated the sign. Len beamed at him and nodded, this time handing Hartley a glass.
Next, while Mick watched, Len said. "Eat." And put fingers together and acted as though he were putting food in his mouth. "Eat." He repeated the actions and then put a spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth.
Giovanni got excited and signed eat and then ate some food.
Hartley nodded and then signed the sign for 'eat'.
Len stood up and picked up a glass, putting water in it. Then he put up three fingers and tapped his chin. "Water." He repeated. He put his fingers in the water and let it drip, then did the sign again.
All of the kids were watching now, and it seemed like a game. So they all, with varying degrees of success gave the signs for eat, drink, and now water.
Next, he pulled out the jug of milk, and poured it into a different glass, held it up for everyone to see and he said. "Milk." He held his hand in an open fist, and then tightened it, as though he were milking a cow. "Milk." Which was technically a c shape going into an s, but for Len's purposes, it looked to him like he was milking the cow. "Milk."
The kids all repeated it and Giovanni chirped "MILK! LATTE!"
"Si." Len nodded. "Si." He at least knew the word for yes in Italian.
He grabbed a banana off the counter, and held his left finger up, and then with his right, he acted like he was peeling his finger down. "Banana!"
That one, they got quickly.
And finally, the last sign he'd learned for the day. He picked up a cookie, showed it around, and then made his hand into a 'c', held his left hand flat, and then mimed using the c-hand to cut out a cookie in the palm of his left hand. "Cookie!"
That got an enthusiastic reply from the kids.
"Now, you have to give them each one!" Mick laughed, and Len couldn't help but chuckle as he opened the bag wider and handed one to each kid.
Lisa was just old enough to give one to, but too young to eat it without squishing it all over her face. Mick stood nearby with a washcloth at the ready.
And he still couldn't stop it from getting into her thin blonde curls.
"We need those diapers." Mick reported as he picked her up out of the high chair that Mark had managed to steal from a restaurant somewhere. Mark had also managed to get a small bag of diapers, but they'd not last the day at this point. It had taken them several tries and more than a few ruined diapers to master the art of getting her into them, and fastened at the same time.
"Diaper wipes and powder as well." Len agreed, taking Lisa from his arms and holding her. "Road trip?" He asked the little baby.
"Ba da ba da bah BOO!" She babbled at him.
"You bet." He agreed, nodding. "Mick? We need to steal ourselves a twelve passenger van."
"Yeah, I'll get right on that." He groaned, shaking his head.
"I dunnoooooo." The little boy looked up at the man in front of him.
Robin slowly wiped a hand down his face, and took a deep breath. "Okay, Bruuuuuce? I want you to think back. Do you remember? Seeing the watch?" He asked in the nicest voice he could.
"Uh huhhhh." Lil'Bruce nodded slowly, looking up at the man in the cape.
"Okay. Good. Goooood. I'm glad. Okay, do you remember it being on the table?" Robin asked, bending down so he could look Brucie in the eyes.
"Uh huuuuuhhhhhhhh." Bruce nodded again, putting his hands behind his back and linking them while stretching. With one foot, he scratched the back of his leg.
"Did you pick it up?" Robin asked slowly, smiling as he did so, hoping to convey that he wasn't upset.
"Uh huhhhh." Bruce nodded once more.
"Where, did you put it?" Robin asked, lightly clapping his knees with his hand, making his voice sound 'yay happy excited'.
"I dunnoooooooo!" Bruce told him in the same earnest voice.
Robin swallowed the whimper. "I'm so dead." He rallied himself, and cleared his throat. "Bruce? It is very very very important that I have that watch. It wasn't reallllly a watch." He tried to explain. "Are you sure you don't know where you put it?"
"Mmmm..." Bruce looked up to the ceiling, his big blue eyes focused on some unknown spot. "Yeahhhhhh--Idunnoooooooo!" He assured.
Robin covered his face, and tried to figure out where everything had gone wrong. He was pretty sure it happened when he was asleep. Because, things had been somewhat normal when he laid down. It's just when he got up that things seemed to go whack.
He'd bundled Lil'Bruce up and taken him with the help of Nightwing to the JLA.
They were in a meeting in another room, right at that second. At least, those that were still adult were at the meeting!
It was quiet.
Too quiet.
Robin uncovered his face and realized to his horror that Lil'Batman was still able to be as silent as his adult version. Because? He'd slipped out of the room in just a few seconds!
"BRUCE!" He yelled, running through the door and looking up and down the hall.
"I'm so dead!" Robin hissed to himself.
As he started a room by room search, Bruce crawled out from under the table and the cloth that covered it and held up the 'watch'. "I founds it!" He chirped happily. "Wobin?" He looked around. "Woooobin?"
Huh? Wobin was gone! Oh, well.
Maybe he could find someone else to play wif!
Before he could leave the room, the door behind him opened and Wally West set a little blond boy down. "Hey you, where's Robin?"
"I dunnoooooo." Bruce gave his stock answer to everything.
Wally sighed. "Okay, well, you stay here. I suppose we can trust you two here! Barry? You stay with Bruce!" He told him. "Be good!"
"Oooookaaaay!" Barry nodded sweetly.
Wally zipped out the door leaving the two little boys in the room alone.
Barry waited a moment and then turned to Bruce with a huge smile. "Let's go PLAY!"
The two little boys promptly escaped the room.
Surely two little boys couldn't get into trouble in a space station. Right?