Front Page News

Presenting Witch Weekly!

[clicking each thumbnail will take you to the full-size version in a new window. And for the love of all that is holy, someone do this crossword. If you read the magazine, all but 14 answers can be found inside it. Salacious gossip is just that, gossip, and while some things are true, some others are, very obviously not. Enjoy!]

( Auror Expose! Malfoy with a New Woman! Potter with a Dirty Secret! Interview with MacDougal! AND MORE! )

Let me know what you guys think!
Yes, there are like, three typos. I know. If you point them out to me I will cry.

Evening Edition for March 7th

Ministry Regulations Cause Rise in Arrests, LES Understaffed
by Nelson Coughlan

The new regulations restricting travel through muggle areas have caused a dramatic rise in arrests as witches and wizards either forget or deliberately ignore the new laws. LES members have been forced to borrow personnel from the Auror floor to cover all the cases, leaving the entire Department severely understaffed.

Many citizens are unsympathetic to the MLE's plight, however. Marigold Burtch, a resident of Diagon Alley, has family members who live in nearby muggle London. "The Ministry shouldn't be allowed to tell me I can't visit my own mother," she shared. "Security is one thing, but keeping families apart is just wrong!"

Others, such as the owner of Nature's Garden, have business reasons for going into the muggle world. "I work directly with the local farmers to get my goods," says Phyllida Spore. "It's how I make sure everything is fresh; it's what my business is built on! How am I supposed to run anything if I can't work with my suppliers? The Ministry is going to put me out of business, it is."

And Phyllida isn't alone. Prices on base goods have increased dramatically since the new restrictions in almost every industry as craftsmen and builders have been forced to turn to imports. Rumors from the MoIMC suggest that the Ministry has had to scramble to keep foreign businesses from artificially increasing their prices on their exports, but they are receiving little help from foreign governments.

Gringotts Warns Against Hoarding
by Dean Ingold

Sources within the Gringotts bank say that an increasing number of people have been in to deposit their hoarded cash, valuables, and even household goods.

"A customer came in with crates of canned food," says an anonymous source inside the bank. "Crates of it! Who needs that much of anything?" The same source reports other cases of people hoarding basic items, presumably against the fear that prices will continue to rise.

Officials warn against the practice, since such hoarding can have disastrous long-term effects on the economy at large. In many cases, simple panic can exacerbate small issues into full-blown crises. Despite these warnings, there seems to be no slowing of the number of customers pouring into Gringotts.

Ministry Review Soon to Begin

After weeks of meetings and deliberations, the Ministry announced today that it would be conducting a review in conjunction with a special committee convened by the Prime Minister. The review committee will be made up of both wizards and muggles in equal number and will be looking into various policies, budgets, and organizational matters which have been brought up during the Ministerial meetings. What action will be taken at the end of this review has yet to be found, but the Minister has stated that the purpose is to locate and eradicate outdated, corrupt, or unfeasible practices.

"Times have been changing faster than anyone has realized," says one of the Minister's aids. "A lot of our policies toward muggles and the muggle government just aren't practical anymore because we haven't kept up with them when we had the chance. No one likes that it has to happen like this, but we'll be better off for it at the end."

Contrary to popular belief, no part of this review will take place within the Ministry building itself.

Violence in Swansea Averted

A riot was nearly caused in Swansea this afternoon when the secrecy charms on a local wizarding business failed, relieving a branch of the Bobbin's Apothecary chain to the muggle passers-by. Several muggles noticed the 'new' shop and went in to investigate, at which time they became very alarmed by a potions demonstration that was taking place on the sales floor.

The Bobbin's manager was quick to close the business to customers, but not before word got out to other residents and shoppers in the area. A large crowd of muggles formed outside the shop door, although the purpose behind the gathering is unclear at this time. Aurors and Obliviators arrived on the scene just as one muggle began throwing rocks at the store and dispersed the crowd. Despite the best efforts of the Obliviators, news of the incident spread to the muggle news networks within minutes and it has been reported across the country.

Charms correspondent Hortense Helgager says such occurrences may become more common in the near-future. "Anti-muggle charms are largely dependent on the muggles innate willingness to overlook things. As muggles become more and more aware of the magical world, those charms are more prone to failing."

For the time being, Bobbin's has closed all except for their Blackthorn and Hogsmead locations and placed them under more complete protections, which allow only specific people to enter. The Swansea location is to remain closed but not hidden as the Ministry plans to pass it off as an occult shop to the muggle public. Customers who frequent the closed locations can place orders by owl for home delivery.

Next Playoffs Match On Hold
by Susan Weatherall

Disgruntled fans have papered the DoMGS with complaints about the decision to postpone the next playoffs game between the Prides and the Bats indefinitely. League officials cited the difficulties in getting attendance rates up due to the new travel restrictions as the reason. Officials do not believe that they can cover the costs of hosting a game if the attendance dips below a certain point, and doing so would make the league incapable of financing the remainder of the season.

Officials are looking for alternate ways to hold games or for getting spectators to official pitches. As soon as a feasible method can be worked out, games will progress again at the usual rate.