Before we discuss your list of demands, let us take a moment to consider how much worse it would have been to have your Gryffindor ask you why two grown men were found hiding in a broom cupboard without any presumable excuse. If you'd had a better idea at the time, you should have said something.
Furthermore, I'd like to know why I now apparently have three suitors vying for my affection, and yet am still so thoroughly lacking in physical and emotional compensation. Clearly you're all spending too much time on each other and not enough on me.
Addressing your demands:
1. I'll see what I can do about Plants in Peril. It's a high-demand publication, I'm sure the headmaster will see the need for multiple copies. 2. Doesn't the Venomous tentacula eat fauna, rather than flora? Wouldn't it be better to appeal to Jon? Then again, maybe not. Let me work on it. 3. You drive a hard bargain. I'll see you in the greenhouse at your leisure. Do I get extra credit? 4. How about we negotiate a trade on that last one? My shampoo for your conditioner.
After all, you did kiss back. Your beard tickles, by the way.
- William
P.S. I think the Hufflepuffs are selling you short; you could totally take Pete in a fight. Just put one hand on his head and hold him at a safe distance until he's worn out and admits defeat.