Who: Jane Shepard and Stephanie Rogers Where: The Crashdown When: An hour after these messages What: A date! Rating:
Shepard honestly couldn't tell you the last time that she'd gone on a date. With Angela things had been physical more than anything. And with Liara... well, there was hardly any time with worlds ending around them. She remembered the stolen moments fondly, however, and wouldn't change them for the world. Still, with only the vaguest memories of how dates worked she hoped that she was doing it right. She was dressed in dark-grey dress pants with a white, sleeveless blouse and her red hair loose over her shoulders. She didn't wear heels often, but she knew how to rock them when the situation required it.
Right now she was standing outside The Crashdown with her hands behind her back and a distant, thoughtful look on her face.
Stephanie honestly had as much experience with dating as Jane did. Prior to the war, she was a skinny, flat-chested, pimply-faced tomboy who really only had one or two dates because they were friends of Bucky's. then after the Super Soldier serum, she never had time. And now? In this time? She went from Avenger mission to Avenger mission, and then got sent to Knowhere. So... yeah. Zero real experience. So she really had no clule what to wear either, and ended up settling for blue jeans and an orange tank top. When she arrived at The Crashdown, her eyes widened when she saw the other woman. Wow... she is stunning, Stephanie thought to herself before approaching her with an adorably awkward smile. "So... that's the look I generally have on my face every day around here. Is everything ok?"
Shepard looked at Stephanie and her posture perceptibly changed. Her normal posture was military ready, guarded. But when she saw Stephanie she relaxed and even smiled. This was someone who had saved her life, so barring the fact that they were on a date, she was happy to see her. "I was just appreciating how quiet it is," she replied. Her eyes trailed over Stephanie's body. "You look nice."
"So do you." Stephanie replied, feeling a blush creep onto her cheeks when she noticed Jane checking her out. "Sorry if I made this awkward at all. I'm just.... pretty much the worst when it comes to this kind of thing. This is technically the first real date I've ever had, if we're being 100% honest..." She was trying to keep from staring, as she always tried to be respectful to everyone... but damn was it hard.
"You haven't made it awkward at all," Shepard assured her. "In fact I appreciate the honesty. The last thing that I'd want is for there to be any confusion between us." She'd been surprised by the offer of a date, but certainly wouldn't have come if there wasn't any interest on her part. Just wasn't her style. "Have you been here before?" She asked, glancing back at the restaurant.
"I've stopped here a few times in the morning after my run. The coffee is wonderful and they make really good breakfasts." Stephanie said,just a hilariously awkward little panda here. "I still do those every day. My run, I mean. I feel like... with so little to do here, it's all that keeps me in my soldier's frame of mind. Does that make any sense?"
She was adorable. "It makes perfect sense," Shepard replied. She walked on over to the restaurant and opened the front door, holding it open for Stephanie as she continued the conversation. "I run too. Go to the gun range. The holosuite is good for combat situations, keeping sharp." She made a face. "It doesn't have the immediate sense of danger that a real battle has."
Steph crinkled her nose at the mention of the gun range. "I should probably do that as well, but... honestly, I prefer to use guns only when absolutely necessary. I tend to use my shield more often than not." She blinked though, at the mention of the holosuite. "I still need to try that. The holosuite, I mean. I'm so hesitant to embrace that kind of technology, which I know I need to do..."
Shepard entered the restaurant behind Steph, her eyes widening a little at the interior. It was a little quirky, but then what wasn't in these parts? "Are you a technophobe?" She didn't mean for it to come across as a cruel question, but as a woman with a few cybernetic implants she couldn't help it but be a little defensive.
"Oh, heavens no." Stephanie replied without hesitation. "I find techology fascinating, and a wonderful thing. It's more... I was born in 1920. Television was high technology to us. To come here, and see all this... it's a bit overwhelming when it comes to learning to use it all. Most people got to experience technological advances slowly, over time. Me? I woke up after being frozen for over 90 years, and got hit with all of it at once."
"You were frozen for ninety years?" Shepard asked, amazed. Maybe they had more in common than Shepard initially thought. Not that she'd been frozen, mind you, but several equally as fantastical things had happened to her. She gestured for Steph to take a seat before taking her own, just... naturally taking the lead. "I can't imagine what that must have been like, for things to change so much."
"I was." Stephanie sat down beside Jane, nodding silently at her assessment. "It was pretty traumatic. Still is, at times." She admitted, smirking. "Luckily I met some teammates upon waking. That quickly became friends. Having them there really eased my nerves through this."
Shepard nodded. "Having someone that you can trust help you through a traumatic experience can make all the difference." In retrospect, Shepard probably should have gone into counselling, but with the war there just hadn't been enough time. Still, if it wasn't for her crew she wasn't sure how she would've gotten through it. "Do you have people here now to lean on if you need it?"
She briefly thought of Wanda, who had gone from good friend to lost love, and felt a quick pang of sadness, of mourning for what now would never be, then shook it off, to concentrate on this incredible woman who was here with her now. "Here?" She asked, before thinking, pursing her lips a little before replying. "I've... made a few friends. Honestly, nobody to really lean on, but that's life, I suppose. Plus, I've been helping to care for a child that appeared here. A little girl named Lunette."
"Well, that's good. It's a good way to keep you occupied." Shepard had thought of children once, but, like most things in her life, there hadn't been time to discuss it. "What's she like?" When the waitress appeared she took Stephanie's offer of a coffee literally and ordered one.
"Very intelligent." Stephanie replied, laughing. "TOO intelligent, for a girl her age. Makes her quite a handful to deal with a lot of times. But she's a good kid. She was brought here with, well... a pet dinosaur. And yes, it still sounds strange coming out of my own mouth. But it's true. A huge red dinosaur that she keeps nearby in one of the safer, wooded areas." Stephanie paused to order a coffee as well, giving a sweet, beautiful smile of thanks to the waitress.
"Just when I thought I'd heard of everything in this place." Shepard shook her head, but she was smiling. "Still, a pet dinosaur would come in handy." She was trying to imagine what she'd do with a dinosaur at a young age. Kill her enemies was the first thing that came to mind. Military mind and all. She decided not to say that. "I hope that you count me as a friend," she added as an after-thought.
"I do." Stephanie said, taking a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. "I feel a connection when we talk. Like you understand me in a way most others don't." She said, trying hard not to let on how utterly into this woman she was quickly becoming.
Shepard nodded in agreement. "It's funny, really. We're from completely different places. The Earth I came from... you probably wouldn't even recognize it." She paused and licked her lips. There was a lot that she wasn't saying, but it would take more than a cup of coffee with Stephanie for her to start to build that trust in her, to even begin to tell her what her life had really been like. "And yet here we are."
"Can I... ask you something a little personal?" Stephanie asked, those bright, wide eyes full of more light and innocence than someone who'd seen so much war should have. "Just.... without seeming too nosy?" She clasped her hands behind her back, trying not to fidget like she typically did when nervous about something.
Shepard's eyebrows shot up. Now what could this be about? "Of course," she replied, setting her hands down on the table in front of her and joining them together. Hopefully it wasn't too personal a question, but she wouldn't know without the asking.
"I couldn't help but notice that you always look so.... sad." Stephanie pointed out, a rather adorable frown forming on her lips. "And that sadness... I know it. That's what comes with losing someone you loved. Who was it?"
"Oh." Now it was time for Shepard to fidget. She looked away for a moment, a thoughtful frown on her face. Still, trust had to start somewhere. "Her name was Liara. She was a scientist. An Asari." She made a face. Stephanie wouldn't know what an Asari was. "She was always very inquisitive, innocent at first, compassionate. ...She made me laugh."
Stephanie gave a sad smile, listening to Jane talk. When she spoke of her lover... it was the first time she saw real warmth and light in her face. Her heart broke a little for the woman, and she understood instantly why it hadn't worked out between the woman and Angela. How could even a goddess compare to that type of adoration? She also felt a tinge of sadness for herself, as she felt hope of possibly having something with Jane slipping away... she didn't feel anyone could ever think of her the way Jane thought of Liara. "I'm... very sorry for your loss, Jane."
Shepard rocked her joined hands back and forth on the table and tried to will her composure back. "I think being here... at least allows me to hope that she's still fighting the good fight. Fighting for the lost. It's just... not going to be with me." She hadn't meant to get so emotional and ended up laughing in embarrassment. "...What about you? Why do you always seem so sad?"
"It's similar... but not quite the same." Stephanie replied, setting her hands down on the table. "I never had the opportunity for a relationship, between how different my teen years were, then being so busy in the war, then being frozen... and when I was brought back, I've had nothing but missions with The Avengers, trying to adjust to the new time... it's been a whirlwind. But I did meet someone. My teammate, Wanda. She was so graceful, and beautiful.... I think a part of me fell in love with her the first time I saw her. But neither of us said or did anything about for the longest time... finally, tired and worn out from a battle, we admitted how we felt to each other. It was the happiest I'd ever felt. Then.... the next morning, I was here."
"Do you think that you'll ever see her again?" Shepard asked. She shifted back in her seat to allow the waitress to set their drinks down between them, thanked her and waited for her to leave before continuing the conversation. "I think that I've had my chance," she said, putting something out there that she normally would have kept to herself. "I'm never going back. I'm gonna die here."
"I feel the same way. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be." Stephanie agreed, nodding slowly. "Why? I don't know. But this is where I'm meant to be. And as for Wanda... she's appeared here twice now. And each time was taken away before we could truly get together. I know fate when I see it."
Shepard curled her fingers around her coffee cup for warmth. "I was never big on fate. I used to think that there was no fate but what I make. But... thinking that I'm here for no goddamn reason while people back home suffer--I just can't. I'd sooner believe that there's a reason why I'm here than think that my whole universe is--" She stopped abruptly and took a breathe. "Obviously it's an issue." She smiled weakly.
"If you weren't here.... Thanos' forces would have made it into Knowhere." Stephanie pointed out, as if making a case for fate. "If I hadn't been here? You may have been killed. I know it sounds hokey by today's standards, but I feel God places us all where we're supposed to be."
"So right now we're supposed to be here?" Shepard asked with the quirk of an eyebrow. "Well, it beats all the horrible things that I've been thinking about myself, so I'll take it." She gave Stephanie a warm smile and tested her drink. It was actually pretty good.
"I can't imagine why you'd think horrible things about yourself." Stephanie told her, just speaking from the heart. "When I look at you, I see a brave, smart, beautiful woman who's a warrior. Who will fight for what she believes in and has the toughness to back it up."
"Well, I guess we have that in common." Shepard believed that, although she felt that Stephanie was much kinder than she was. She wondered if that was due to how she was raised, but considered that a sensitive topic to bring up. At least, it was sensitive for her, being an orphan and all. "Are you always so optimistic?"
Stephanie gave that question real thought before answering. Was she? Everyone from Stark to Barton had teased her about her typically sunny disposition back home... but was there a reason for it? Finally after a deep breath, she nodded and replied. "I try to be. There's always going to be terrible things in your life. But it's what you choose to focus on that will dictate how you feel. Focus on the bad things? And you're going to walk around depressed and angry. But focus on whatever good things are in your life, even small, trivial things... and you'll at least be able to get through the day a little easier."
Shepard nodded. It was certainly something she could use a little more of herself. Optimism. "I think... Maybe you *are* exactly where you need to be."
Stephanie nodded, glad that Jane was seeing things in the same fashion she was. "I just wish I didn't feel so... lonely all the time. It's just that everyone I cared about is back home. And here, there's different versions of them, that either don't know me, or know me as a man. And that includes Wanda. The version of her that's mostly been around barely knew any version of me even as a friend."
"That's gotta be hard," Shepard replied. She finished the last of her coffee and set it aside. "I honestly think that I might break down and cry if I saw anyone from home again," she admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. She realized then that much like Stephanie, her friends were also her work colleagues. Also people who tended to save the world, so there was that.
"It is." Stephanie admitted, giving a small sigh. "But over time, it's become less about how I felt about her back home, and more about just being a reminder of how alone I really am here. I think... now that I'm in a place where I'm not constantly in action, or on the move, it's given my brain time to realize 'hey, Stephanie - you're completely alone'. And it's a really terrible feeling."
Shepard nodded in understanding. "That's generally why so try not to stay still for any length of time. Of course, being a soldier makes it near impossible to wind down." She gave Steph a wry smile.
She wanted to agree with Jane. About being a soldier, about never keeping still... yet somehow, all that came out was a sincere "You know... you really need to smile more often. Really. You have such a lovely smile."
It was the unexpectedness of the compliment that made Shepard smile again (and maybe blush a little!). "Well, keep giving me reason to and I promise you'll see it more often."
"Oh, it's up to me to make you smile, is it?" Stephanie asked teasingly, a small giggle escaping her lips. She realized then how long it had been since she felt this good. "So tell me, then: other than a constant stream of compliments, how would you recommend I do this?"
Shepard smiled. "Just be yourself. I promise that you're doing fine." It was actually Stephanie's sweetness and honesty that set Shepard at ease. "Actually, would you like to go for a walk?"
Stephanie blinked with pleasant surprise at that request, as she had almost thought Shepard wasn't very interested in her. "I can honestly say there's nothing in the world I'd rather do right now." Sweetly, it was the first time since the day she met Wanda that she felt her heart flutter the way it was right now.
Shepard couldn't help it but smile again at the look of surprise on Stephanie's face. She really was far too precious. Although she did make a mental note not to be so guarded around the blonde. "Then shall we?"
Stephanie stood, giving a bright, almost innocent smile as she offered her arm to the other woman. "We shall! I should tell you... you're pretty much making my night here."
Shepard slipped some cash under one of the coffee mugs and stood to accept Stephanie's arm, linking it with her own. "And how am I doing that?" She asked, voice almost a purr as she met Steph's eyes.
"Just... by being yourself, really." Stephanie laughed, trying not to blush. "It's been awhile since... oh this is going to sound so silly... it's been awhile since anyone made me feel attractive, or like anything other than a soldier..."
Shepard knew exactly what Stephanie meant. Honestly if Stephanie hadn't asked her on a date she would have continued assuming that there was no interest here. She gave Steph's arm a squeeze as they walked along. "Well, you are beautiful."
"Thank you." Stephanie knew that she was an attractive woman, but it had been a long time since anyone had really acted interested in or attracted to her. "So are you. I've... thought so for quite a long time if we're being honest."
Shepard's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Well, you play your cards close to your vest. Until you asked me out I had no idea." Although the same could be said if the situation were reversed.
"Well... it was never a good time." Stephanie explained, feeling her cheeks flush. "First you were involved with Angela, and trust me, nobody would want to anger her by flirting with her girlfriend... then you were with Liara, and after that I was fighting off depression over missing Wanda..."
"How is that going, by the way?" Shepard asked, showing genuine concern. She wasn't overly fond about talking about their exes, but it shouldn't have to be a taboo topic, either.
"Much better, actually." Stephanie answered honestly. "Especially right now. I've... well, as I said: I've admired you from afar for awhile now. You're gorgeous, and seeing you in battle is so beautiful and awe-inspiring... I guess I just never thought you'd be interested in me."
"What's not to like?" Shepard asked, giving Steph a little smile as they walked along. "I know that we have a few things in common already. You're also kind, compassionate, I think maybe selfless as well. ... And I did mention beautiful, right?" Shepard couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled so much in someone else's company, either.
Stephanie tilted her head a little, as if trying to discern whether or not what she was thinking was a good idea. She had never been a forward person, but somehow, seeing that Jane seemed to be as interested in Stephanie as Stephanie was in her... she decided for once in her life to leave her comfort zone and take a chance. She leaned in slowly, and placed a gentle, chaste kiss to the other woman's lips.
Shepard let herself enjoy the kiss for a moment before pulling back to meet Stephanie's gaze. There was something honest and raw in her eyes, something vulnerable. Here she was, opening up to someone new. She gave Steph a sly smile and hooked an arm around her, pulling her in for a much deeper kiss, enjoying the taste of her.
To say Stephanie was a bit surprised at that? Would be a dramatic understatement. But it was certainly not a bad surprise. She let herself melt into the kiss, a happy little hum coming from her. She had never expected to feel an attraction to anyone as much as she had to Wanda, but damned if she wasn't doing so right now.
Once the need for oxygen became an issue, Shepard broke the kiss. She still hovered close to Stephanie, however, and slid a hand into the other woman's. "Wow."
"You, um... pretty much took the words right out of my mouth." Stephanie replied with an absolutely adorable blush. Truthfully, she'd never been kissed like that. With such confidence, with such desire... it was almost intoxicating. "I could really get used to that." She added, giving a slightly embarrassed laugh.
"Well, I should hope so," Shepard replied, which was her subtle way of saying that there were likely going to be many dates for the future. She squeezed Steph's hand and set them off at a slow walk, giving them both a chance to catch their breath.
Stephanie smiled brightly at that, raising an eyebrow at the other woman. "You know... you're actually surprisingly sweet, once you get past the tough outer shell..." She teased, giving Jane's hand a light, adoring squeeze. For someone like Stephanie, who'd felt so alone for so long... this was a much-needed moment of feeling truly human. Of feeling like she was actually compatible with someone. And she found she LOVED it.
Shepard chuckled and tried (and failed) to hide her blush. "Where I was brought up," she frowned thoughtfully and lightly nibbled on her bottom lip, trying to think how to word what she wanted to say, "let's just say there wasn't room for sweetness, so whenever something good happened or I met someone I made sure to appreciate it. Them."
"I'm not saying you need it but.... as long as you're here at least, I'll protect you." Stephanie said, hoping her meaning got through. "You can let that kind of stuff in. You can... make room for it." She placed a soft palm lightly on Jane's cheek, staring into her eyes. "Make room for ME."
Shepard nodded. The sweet thing was, she knew that without Stephanie having to say it. She tilted her head to enjoy the contact, her eyelids fluttering closed briefly. "I know. And I will," she promised.
Stephanie appeared to be in deep thought for a few moments. While this was fairly sudden, it was also the most real, most mutually romantic moment she'd really shared with anyone. Had she ever felt like someone understood her the way Jane did? Not since before she'd even joined the army, to be honest. And even that was on a friendship level. With a determined grin, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Jane's again, pouring all of herself into it, It was easily the most passionate moment of Stephanie's life, but she knew this is who she wanted to share it with.
Shepard kissed her back, letting her body relax as she melted into the kiss. Very few people had ever been allowed to see the romantic side to Shepard, let alone the vulnerable one. And yet Stephanie had seen both on the first date. She hummed happily and couldn't help it but smile. "You're very good at that."
"Right there... I just gave you more of myself than I've ever given to anyone." Stephanie admitted,sighing with a slight blush. "I'm only telling you that so that you understand how much this moment means to me."
Shepard nodded and reached up to gently curl a lock of Stephanie's hair behind her ear, keeping silent for the moment to appreciate what Steph had just said. "You can tell me anything," she wanted Steph to know. Trust had to start somewhere.
"The same goes for you." Stephanie said with a nod, sweetly gazing at the other woman. "I trust you. I trust you enough that I'm..." she blushed, rolling her eyes. "Ok, no judging here, even if you already pieced it together from how I was talking... that last kiss I gave you was easily the furthest I've ever gone sexually. And... I trust you enough to let you show me more. If... you know, want to. I don't want to be presumptuous."
Shepard had pieced it together, but at least had enough tact not to embarrass the poor girl. "Of course I want to." She gave Stephanie's hand a squeeze. "You might worry that one or both of us could be gone tomorrow." She meant that by the nature of their work one of them could die, just to be clear--see? tact! "But there's no rush, if you feel that you need time. We have a lot of that." She smiled.
"You know.... you're kind of amazing." Stephanie said to Jane, placing a palm on the woman's cheek again, seemingly just needing contact right now. "For the first time... I'm actually glad I'm here."
Shepard smiled and nuzzled into Stephanie, easily the most affectionate she'd been in a very long time. "We'll, I hope that I always make you feel that way."