InsaneJournal

Who: Missy Bender and Rhiannon Day; with a guest appearance by Mallory Langdon
What: The result of this outburst.
Where: Rhiannon's room at Miss Robichaux's
When: the evening of April 27th
Warnings: Mentions of violence/death.

Missy knew that she had been harsh with Rhiannon. Extremely harsh. She could tell that it was necessary, though. It was bad enough that Rhiannon needed explicit details when someone was hitting on her, but when she said that she didn't want to date at all because she was waiting on the Gem to bring a very specific individual? Rhiannon otherwise seemed like a very intelligent person, but Missy felt that she was quite delusional. It was more than all right to have standards when it came to looking for who you want as a potential life partner, but to refuse to even consider the qualities of anyone else in the meantime? Missy felt that Rhiannon was better than that. She wasn't even doing this because she was romantically interested in Rhiannon. Nope. Missy just found herself caring about this girl and felt like she was depriving herself by waiting for a specific individual that may not care for her in the slightest. Just like she said so colorfully.

She had been sitting in her apartment, in a pair of sweats all day, and despite not looking to impress Rhiannon, Missy still took a quick shower and made herself presentable before heading over from Freedomtown to the City of Cortez. She hadn't been to many places yet, but she found herself quite familiar with the locations of many places all over Galador as she worked at two different places as a cosmetologist. It was nearly a half-hour after her last text when Missy arrived at Miss Robichaux's Academy not knowing what to expect.

Rhiannon had a dark past, one that she never told anyone about since coming to this time. But she could understand why Missy seemed annoyed at her and felt it was time to explain to her why she was so dead set on something most people thought could never happen.

While she typically tried to look her glamorous best, today Rhiannon sat in her room in simple white shorts, knee-high socks, and a plain blue tee, with almost no makeup and her hair, pulled back in a ponytail. She didn't really feel like trying to look sexy today.

While attempting to quickly decide whether or not it was okay to just walk in, one of the girls happened to walk out. Missy blinked, not sure if she recognized her or not. "Hey uh... I don't mean to bother you, but do you live here or whatever? Rhiannon asked me to come over."

Looking 100% non-plussed as always, Mallory Langdon stood before her, looking gothy as ever, her black-ringed eyes looking the girl over. "Yeah, she said she had someone coming by. C'mon. I'll take you to her. Her room's upstairs."

Missy nodded, "thanks. I guess it's good that she said something." She tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. She knew that she had upset a witch, but she wasn't sure how much, or how powerful Rhiannon was. So she just held her head high and hoped for the best.

Mal brought her up to Rhiannon's room, knocking before popping the door open for her. "There you go. Princess is in there." She said with her typical dry tone, using the nickname she'd affectionately begun calling the blonde.

Rhiannon was sitting, quietly, on the large windowsill near her bed, knees pulled to her chest as she gazed out into the beautifully clear sky.

"Thanks," Missy gave Mal a polite wave before walking into the room where Rhiannon was waiting for her. "Hi..."

"Hey," Rhiannon said a sad smile on her face. "Thanks for coming over. You were the first person to ever call me out on my dating thing, and... I guess I wanted to talk about it. About why I'm like that. If you're even interested, I suppose."

Missy sighed as she walked over to Rhiannon and found a place to sit down. "I'm sorry for saying it the way that I did, though. I was just thinking... prepare for the worst and hope for the best."

"No... you weren't wrong. About any of it, really." She said, that usual happy drawl of hers more subdued and melancholy. "Death affects everyone in different ways, I guess. And with me? I guess it made me fixate on someone I convinced myself would understand me."

Missy blinked, tilting her head. She felt like she finally got the gist of why Rhiannon felt the way that she did without even actually hearing who the person was that Rhiannon was "waiting" for. "I'm so sorry. I thought that you were just being selfish."

"It's ok, dumplin'. I can see how it looked like that. Hell, maybe I was." She continued to look out the window, not feeling able to look someone in the eyes as she admitted this. She'd never spoken about these events to anyone, not even in the immediate aftermath. "When I was 14, I dated a boy named Chris. It wasn't anything serious, just kids in puppy love. We were in store in Commerceport when there was an explosion caused by a shorted wire. I was closer to the door and made it out. Chris... didn't."

She took a moment, taking a few calming breaths.

"I was traumatized by that for a while... but when I was 17, I decided to try again. I began seeing a girl named Meghan. So beautiful... pale skin like porcelain, fiery red hair, figure women ten years older would envy. I fell hard for her. We were only 17 and 18, yet we were already talking about moving in together, about marriage, all of it. One night, while we were in her home, snuggling on the sofa watching television, there was a knock at her door. She got up to see who was there... it was a man. A new-ish arrival, who'd been something of a witch hunter in his world. He'd apparently cracked under the stress of being thrown into a new world, and in his mania, decided all witches must die regardless of what world they were from. He'd shown up at her door because he knew I was there. She tried to stop him... but he grabbed her and wrenched her neck to the side, killing her instantly. As he stormed in, stepping over her broken body like it was garbage just to get to me... he was taken down by the local police, who'd been trying to follow him."

She knew she was going on and on at this point... but this had been building up in her for years. She couldn't stop now if she tried.

"I fell into a deep depression. I decided I never wanted to love again. I barely talked to anyone for six months, staying secluded in my room. During that time, I read a comic book called The Crow, by James O'Barr. And it spoke to me like nothing else could at that moment. It was about love, and loss, and revenge, and it was exactly what I needed. I found myself drawn to Eric Draven's character because, like me, he knew what it felt like to watch the woman you love murdered. He knew what it was like to feel so gutted by that loss that not even death itself could make it cease. In that moment, then and there, I told myself that somehow, the same way this place brought people from all different realities together, it would find a way to bring us together. And then, I would feel safe to love again."

"The difference being, Eric Draven was killed the same night as his pregnant fiancee and was brought back to exact vengeance, so he was actually undead, and still very much in love and obsessed with Shelly," Missy pointed out, despite knowing that on some level, Rhiannon knew that, as well. "But I get it," she nodded. "Both of those instances were insane and tragic, and honestly... despite them both happening to you? Both were one in a million odds of ever happening."

"I know that," Rhiannon replied with a soft sigh. "It's just always been my way of making myself ok with being alone. That daydream that the person who would get me, and who wouldn't be able to be killed or taken from me, was out there, and that somehow he'd be brought to me. It was ridiculous, but once you let your heart start to believe something, that doesn't really register anymore."

"You're protecting yourself," Missy nodded. "And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think that anyone would in your situation. I'm sure that I would. Granted, I've never been in love before."

"You're lucky," Rhi told her, visibly shaken up from having said all that, but doing her best to hold back tears as she continued to stare out the window. "Once you fall in love that first time? No matter how hard you try not to again, it always happens."

"Honestly, I just became more preoccupied with sex and my future career," Missy shrugged. "I still don't think that I'm ready."

"Sex is definitely a nice way to distract yourself," Rhi answered with a laugh, wiping a few tears from her eyes. "Don't worry, pumpkin... when you're ready? Your heart will tell you. Even when you try not to fall in love, when it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I just learned how to ignore it, and push it away."

"Doesn't that hurt, though?" Missy tilted her head, frowning.

"Every day of my life," Rhiannon told her, with no hesitation. "Just hurts less than losing it."

"But wouldn't loving again mean the eventual healing of your heart from the previous occurrences?" Missy moved a little closer, placing a hand on Rhiannon's arm.

"It would, yeah." Showing how much not having love in her life had affected her, she absently leaned into that touch as though subconsciously craving it. "But I can't have my heart broken like that again, Missy. I can't. It would legitimately kill me."

"I'm not so sure that would actually classify as..." Missy blinked, shaking her head. "Nevermind." She took a deep breath, "part of me wants to say that it's not like you're cursed, but given what you are... it's possible, and curses are made to be broken."

"So what do you suggest?" She said, finally turning to look at the other girl. Her eyes, red from crying, blinked as she looked almost desperate for some kind of helpful answer.

"I'd say that our first mission is to find out if you are actually cursed, and if so? Why did someone do this to you?" Missy titled her head, moving a little closer.

Rhiannon nodded, taking a deep breath as she listened. "I already pushed away so many people that could've been great for me..."

"I'm talking about before," Missy sighed with a small smile. "Before tragedy ever struck you."

"You would help me with that?" Rhi asked, closing her eyes before letting her next words out with a whisper. "I... don't think I'm cursed, honestly. I think I just have extraordinarily awful luck."

"Then you wouldn't have to worry about the next person you could potentially fall for," Missy raised an eyebrow. "It wouldn't make sense."

"I'm just such a mess..." She finally admitted, crumbling against Missy and finally breaking down into sobs. "I'm so scared of everything now..."

"But the thing is... those things, no matter how much those things sucked? They were meant to happen. They were supposed to die, so that you could go on and be with the person that you were actually supposed to be with," Missy brought an arm around Rhiannon. Again with the harsh, tough love. It was something that she needed to hear.

"What if I always pushed that person away?" Rhiannon asked her through tears. She knew, honestly, that Missy couldn't possibly know that answer... but she had to ask anyway.

"I'm fairly sure that couldn't change their fate," Missy chuckled.

"Could I talk you into staying here with me for the evening?" Rhi asked her, looking into her eyes. "It would really mean a lot to me."

"I'm available," Missy shrugged. "The best part of a high-paying, low-hours job."

"And how available are we talking?" Rhi asked her, giving a flirty little wink at her. Sue her, ok? The girl was gorgeous and had just comforted her.

"Do I have to do it again?" Missy raised an eyebrow.

".....tough love?" Rhiannon asked, hilariously with the look of a puppy who just got caught chewing something valuable.

Missy gave a firm nod. "I've only been on Galador a short time. I'm still getting used to being slightly in the future."

"You're a good friend, Missy," Rhiannon said with a cutely defeated sigh. "Please don't ever go away?"

"Props to you for not needing to explicitly describe your intentions, though. That's where you lost me before," Missy winked.

"Because this time there was more than just physical want behind it," Rhiannon admitted with a blush.

"There you go," Missy gave a firm nod. "There can be more even when not looking for something serious."

"No need for tough love here... this is all I'm doing," Rhi warned, before leaning in to give the girl a long, loving, but very chaste kiss. "Thank you, darlin'. You have no idea the emotional release you gave me today."

"Oh... okay," Missy shrugged with a frown. "I just wanted to make sure it was the best idea."

"I just wanted you to know how special and amazing you are," Rhiannon told her, sincerely. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"Because I was the first one to bother calling you out? Because I didn't actually have any interest in you than just a passing fling when we first met?" she paused, taking a deep breath, "or because there was just something about me that made you actually want to listen to me?"

"The third option," Rhi said with a chuckle. "Your opinion matters to me. Has since we met. And the moment I could tell you were unhappy with me... I had to know why. I had to know what I needed to do."

"Pretty much only the fact that you are unwilling to date, even if it doesn't mean falling in love and risking something happening to them. You're not even willing to give yourself enough to just hang out with someone on even a semi-regular basis. You come off as someone who hasn't even slept with someone more than once since you lost your last love," she paused, shaking her head. "Such things aren't healthy, my dear."

"I guess... I meet someone like you, and it makes me want to try." The blonde admitted, looking away again, feeling far too vulnerable. "I know you don't see me like that, but that doesn't stop me from seeing you like that. And it makes me want to take chances again."

"Hey!" Missy laughed, shaking her head. "Hey..." she sighed. "When did I ever actually say that, or even something remotely close to that?"

"Well, the way you were talking about not really being ready for love..." Rhiannon laughed back, crinkling her nose.

"Let's see.... I actually... told you that I wanted you," she extended one finger, "told you that I simply haven't found love yet," she extended her next finger, "and that I wasn't ready to actively look for someone to date just yet," she smirked, rubbing Rhiannon's arm. "On top of that, I even expressed disappointment that you hadn't been the type to at least make friends with someone that you happened to get freaky with on the regular. So..."

Rhiannon snorted, before breaking into a giggle fit. "Oh lordy... am I really that thick? Oh, dumplin'... you really wanna give this a try with me?"

"I mean... I was a little turned off when you didn't realize that I was flirting with you before, but..." she shrugged. "You've made up for that."

"In my defense, pumpkin, I was tryin' reallllly hard to turn that part of my brain off." She moved in again, teasingly nipping at Missy's bottom lip. "But I'm glad I made up for it. So... where do we go from here, pretty lady?"

"Completely directionless," Missy smiled with a shrug.

"Just take each day as it comes?" She asked, feeling terrified... yet excited about the possibility of a future with this girl.

"Yes, that way? No pressure," Missy leaned in, kissing Rhiannon's nose. "No expectations of what could happen."

"I feel like I should warn you, though," Rhiannon said, blushing lightly. "I don't do good with casual stuff. No expectations is fine... but if you wanna try dating? I'm a one-person kinda gal."

"I've got no one else on my radar, babe," Missy shrugged.

"Good." The blonde said, satisfied with that answer, getting up and gently tugging Missy's hand as she walked away from the window, and toward the bed. "C'mere. I kinda wanna show you how I already feel about you, and it's not for public eyes."

"Well that's good because I am definitely not that type of girl," Missy gave a firm nod as she followed Rhiannon to her bed.

"Goodness... you really are so beautiful," Rhiannon said in a gentle, genuine tone, placing a palm on Missy's cheek, before going in for another kiss... this one deep, wanting, and hungry for more.