Ginnifer "Ginny" Callaway (gothy_angst) wrote in freedomtownic, @ 2019-12-31 18:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | ginny callaway (gothy_angst), tess darling (fightforthelost) |
Who: Tess and Ginny
Where: Javva The Hutt
When: Last week
What: Coffee and Conversation
Rating: Low
Note: The song used is Lindsey Stirling - Shatter Me ft. Lzzy Hale
Status: Closed; Complete
After taking Aurora out rollerskating Tess decided that it was a good time to look into a new career path. Her previous job involved fighting for the lost. People who couldn't fight for themselves. People who needed a savior or someone to speak for them when they were already gone. Galador had a lot of saviors already. What it needed now was teachers. She could teach others to defend themselves; but Tess realized that teaching in any capacity was her true calling. Helping others to find their voice, to find what really drove them.
And so, she sat in a cafe in Freedomtown looking at the want ads. Being on a new planet really was a new start. Maybe now was the time to act on it. Work on being the person that she was always meant to be.
Ginny's head had been absolutely buzzing the last few days. She wasn't exactly sure what the hell was going on in her head. A simple offer of comfort to her new friend Tess had turned into a full-blown makeout session, that Ginny only stopped from going further our of fear of it ruining what could be. But where did THAT thought come from? She'd been so miserable, and so lonely... but nobody she met could even begin to fill the Lexi-shaped hole in her heart. Yet somehow... Ginny felt at least a spark with Tess. Which, while not much for most people, was huge for Ginny. It was more than she'd felt for anyone in many years.
So when she walked into Java The Hut and saw Tess sitting there, she had to laugh. Fate was weird like that, wasn't it? Wearing a black coat over a short black dress, the pale singer walked up behind the blonde and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, miss... is this seat taken?"
Tess looked over at Ginny and smiled brilliantly(!). "Maybe I was saving it for you." Tess's overall mood and demeanor had shifted for the better since that afternoon with Ginny. It was as if she was ready to finally purge all of those demons that she carried for so long.
She subtly checked Ginny out, then winked at her. "Buy you a drink?" What Ginny was feeling certainly wasn't one-sided, but Tess tried not to think about it out of fear of screwing it up somehow. At the very least she didn't want to ruin this new friendship.
"A coffee, maybe?" Ginny asked, trying to gently make sure Tess wasn't drinking. She just wanted to make sure she was staying on the wagon through everything. Sitting down across from Tess, Ginny couldn't help but immediately notice the difference in her mood from the day she'd come over to now. "Wow... someone's having a good day..."
"Someone's having a very good day," Tess agreed. She excused herself for a moment to order them both a coffee, then plonked her ass back down in that chair. "More 'n more lately, it feels like." She held Ginny's gaze and gave her a bittersweet smile. "I know it's not always gonna be rainbows and puppies, but... I'll take these days when I can and I'll run with them."
"I'm so glad, honey." Ginny said, sighing as she gave a slight smile. "Hopefully I'll be able to learn from your example." Ginny said, honestly. She was trying, and definitely felt less alone in the world with Tess in her life. But she was still very much in the depression that had been gripping her for months.
"It's... not really the best example. Filling my time with activities is really me just running from my problems, but... if I don't have time to think about..." Tess felt silent briefly "it hurts less." A shadow fell over her expression briefly, but then she brightened again. "I'm happy to see you, though."
"Definitely... that night was..." she paused, a light blush coming over her pale features. "Intense. In a good way. Not even talking about the... topless-and-kissing part, even though that was admittedly great too, just... I haven't felt like someone really understood me in so long, I forgot what it felt like. I wanted to call you the next day to talk or hang out again... I just didn't want to seem creepy or weird."
"No, I get it," Tess assured Ginny. "It's been a long time since I could talk to someone like that. Rachelle's a good friend and all but... she's mostly in a better place now." Tess tried to remind herself that addicts weren't meant to start a relationship with someone until at least a year of sobriety, out of fear of relapse if things didn't work out. She puffed out her cheeks and let out a breath at the thought. The waitress appeared with their coffees and she made space for them to be set down on the table between them, giving her a thanks and a brilliant smile. "So... no. Not creepy or weird. I promise."
Ginny nodded, agreeing completely. "Like I said that night... they mean well, but they got their happily ever after. They don't know what it's like to be one of the ones who never can." It was pessimistic but truthful. Ginny would never have Lexi again. Nor would Tess have Ramsey. Rather than have the person they loved heal them... they had to move past them.
Tess nodded, fidgeting with her fingers. It was possible that she'd already had two cups of coffee before Ginny showed up, but more than that it was a buzz to just talk to her again. "You've been okay since that night?"
"Depression-wise? I go back and forth." Ginny admitted, before hiding her face as she said the next part. "The rest of it? Nothing about thirty cold showers couldn't help." So that might have been one of the most sexually charged evenings of Ginny's LIFE, ok? Didn't matter that they hadn't gone very far.
Tess grinned. "Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. Still," she blushed at the thought that followed but dared not speak it aloud, "you were right to put the kibosh on things before they went any further. We're... both recovering in our own ways. We wouldn't have been doing it for the right reasons."
"Exactly." Ginny agreed with a nod. "You're... easily one of the best people I've ever met, and you deserve better than that. Better than... being sloppily manhandled by some emotional forest fire."
Tess's eyebrows shot up. "Gin... an emotional forest fire you are not. Nor did you 'sloppily manhandle' me." If anything, Ginny's turn of phrase really did show where her thought process was. She really didn't think that highly of herself, did she? "So get that nonsense out of your head right now."
Ginny sighed, silently processing that for a few moments. "I guess maybe we're both lost souls. Maybe that's why we met. Maybe we need each other to get back on the right path."
Tess nodded. That was a lot of 'maybe's' in a sentence, but she didn't feel that Ginny was necessarily wrong either. "Well, I promise to always call you on your shit if you always call me on mine."
"Always, sweetheart." Ginny replied, offering a sweet, gentle smile. While she had a lot of mood swings, and could be a wildwoman on stage, she was truly a gentle soul at heart. "We need to do that, really. We can't let each other dwell on things, or get into bad habits, or any of it."
Tess was already developing a crush on this woman, she could feel it. At the mention of bad habits, she chuckled. "You might have lost that battle." She indicated the coffee she was drinking. "My third cup so far today. God help me when the Van Warren's open up the Sugar Shack here. I might develop a new addiction." At least this one was healthier than the last one. And she was joking. Mostly.
"You know?" Ginny began with an amused sparkle in her eyes, "I think that's a bad habit I could let fly under the radar." She said with a sweet giggle. Had she smiled or laughed this much in the last few years? Likely not. "Just being best friends with Rachelle entitles you to at least ONE bad habit, just to get through your days..."
"Ohmygod, don't even get me started," Tess agreed with a laugh. "No wonder she has two wives. Just one alone would have trouble keeping up with her." Still, she obviously had high affection for Rachelle because she only meant it jokingly.
"Agreed. I adore her, but... honestly? I have no idea how you can deal with hanging out with her all the time." Ginny laughed, just being honest as ever. "Of course, my best friend is Paige, so... I guess I really can't talk."
"You know, even from a distance that woman is terrifying," Tess joked about Paige. As tough and strong as she was, she was at least willing to admit when someone frightened her. She took a sip of her coffee and thought I really needed this. Someone to talk to, someone who shared some of the same life experiences, who knew what it was like to have your heart stepped on. "Thanks for this, by the way."
"Anytime, honey. We need to lean on each other, so.. least I can do is something like this now and then." Ginny told her, raising an eyebrow then as she thought of something. "So... would you be willing to do ME a favor?"
It's probably not what you think. Tess shifted in her seat. "My interest is piqued... But I guess that depends on the favor." She wasn't about to make a promise that she couldn't keep.
"So... you know how much my music means to me." Ginny said, giving a nervous smile. "And I recorded my first new song since arriving here. It's vocals for an extraordinary violin player named Michiru, for an album she's working on. And I'd like to have yours be the first opinion I get on it."
Tess's face lit up. "Oh wow. Yeah, totally. I'd be honored." Tess didn't have much musical ability herself (apart from having a halfway decent singing voice), but she did love music. There was something about it that just took you on a journey.
"Thank you! Do you have time right now? Or would you rather set up a time to listen?" Ginny asked, adorably more animated and alive than she'd seemed in some time.
Tess could see how Ginny's face lit up when she spoke about music. It was clearly her passion. "For you, darlin'? I've got all the time in the world."
"I just felt like you're the one person who will really GET the lyrics, you know? What they mean and how they feel." Ginny said, before pulling her phone out and opening the app she had a few songs she was working on programmed into. "I really hope you like it." She added, before pressing 'play'. It was a strange but gripping combination, the classical stylings of Michiru's violin, with the rock vocals of Ginny added in.
I pirouette in the dark
I see the stars through me
Tired mechanical heart
Beats til the song disappears
Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
If only the clockworks could speak
I wouldn't be so alone
We burn every magnet and spring
And spiral into the unknown
Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly
There's no one to catch…
Tess set her forearms on the table and leaned forward to listen to the music, trying to drown out the ambient noise. Her brow furrowed as she listened. Once the song finished, she sat up in her seat. It was alarming how much they had in common, how much that song spoke to her. "Fuck, Ginny. You take my breath away."
Adorably, the pale beauty positively beamed at Tess' compliment. "Thank you so much! I had hoped you, more than anyone, would feel it."
Tess nodded. "Yeah. I really did." She nibbled on her bottom lip, but ultimately decided to keep the conversation light. "It amazes me that such a powerful voice comes out of such a tiny package." She smiled lopsidedly. She felt like Ginny put a lot of herself into her music, even after only listening to that one song. That was... brave. Very brave.
"You are probably the first person to ever describe THIS as tiny..." Ginny laughed, running her hands down her admittedly voluptuous curves. "Always wondered what that felt like to hear..." She added with a teasing wink. "Seriously though... thank you. It's taken a lot for me to get back to my music here, but... I feel like the biggest hurdle was getting that first song finished."
Tess quirked an eyebrow as Ginny ran her hands over her curves, more than a little annoyed with herself that she kept catching herself checking Ginny out. When did that start? "Well, that's just it. Now that you're over that hurdle I just hope that you keep... running the race? OK. So I suck at metaphors. But I think you get my point." She tapped her fingers on the table, all too jittery at the moment. "Maybe meeting musicians outside of your social circle helps, or would help?"
"More than anything? I think knowing YOU has helped." Ginny admitted, blushing a little. "Since I met you, I feel so much less alone in the world, you know? Like maybe my pain isn't as solitary as I thought."
"Thank you for that." Tess smiled when she noticed the color on Ginny's cheeks. "I think that talking to you has helped me too. Just knowing that someone else understands what I'm going through. I think that I'm closer now than ever in putting the past tense on that and I think that's in large part due to my friendship with you. I mean, it's still... simmering under the surface. Something that I'll have to have a final confrontation with. But... I'm hopeful. You give me hope."
"And when that confrontation comes?" Ginny told her, reaching over to squeeze the other woman's hand. "You'll have me right behind you, to make sure you don't fall."
Why do you have to be so perfect? Tess thought, having to stop herself from audibly whimpering. That was by far the sweetest thing that anyone had ever said to her. She squeezed Ginny's hand back. "Thank you... for being so amazing."
"You make it easy, sweetheart." Funny enough, Ginny was having almost identical thoughts. That Tess was so amazing, and that she'd never have someone like that. "We're a team now. We hold each other up."
"A team. I like the sound of that." Tess's eyes widened comically. One could only hope it was the third coffee of the day she was working on when she blurted out: "Do we get matching outfits?" Again, trying to add some levity here.
"Hm. Team Rocket maybe?" Ginny asked, playing along. "I can't help but think I'd rock Jesse's outfit..." Oh, way to give her more visuals there, Gin. Good lord.
Tess nodded appreciatively at the visual (yep, no chance of stopping that one coming through). "I dig that." Tess smiled, honestly feeling... relaxed and happy. Sure, some of the stuff they discussed was pretty deep, but overall she felt lighter for having had this conversation. "I don't think that I'm ever gonna stop thanking you for entering my life, you know."
"Please... it's a very mutual thankfulness, Tess. Anything you ever want or need, I'll do my best to provide." She found herself wondering, however briefly, if Tess truly had any idea how sweet and beautiful she was, at least in Ginny's eyes.
Tess reached over to give Tess's hand another brief squeeze. "Same here. You could call at three in the goddamn morning and I'll be there for you," she promised, crossing an 'x' over her heart.
"I can't think of any reason I'd ever need to call that late, but..." She laughed, shaking her head. "I just adore you. I really do."
"And that? Is also mutual." Tess couldn't help it but think that the crush that she'd developed was very one-sided however. "Hey, can I steal you away for a little while?"
"Of course!" Ginny told her, without even a moment's hesitation. "What's going on?" These two were just maddeningly blind to each other's feelings, weren't they?
"Nothing crazy. I just figured--" Tess bobbed her head from side to side. "--'Nice day in the company of a beautiful woman? Why not go for a walk?' Unless you burn up in the sun?" She added with a cheeky smirk, since Ginny's complexion was hella pale compared to hers.
"You know what? Why not." Ginny said with a laugh, hopping to her feet with a wonderful little jiggle. "And if that beautiful woman happens to show up? I'll hit the bricks."
Tess gave Ginny and incredulous look as she stood up as well. "One day I'm gonna make you realize that you're the most beautiful woman in any room that you walk in."