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Ginnifer "Ginny" Callaway ([info]gothy_angst) wrote in [info]freedomtownic,
@ 2019-12-02 20:58:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:ginny callaway (gothy_angst), paige bennett (paige_justice), primrose st claire (darkerhues), sabra hills (sabra_hills)

Filtered to 18+
Supposedly this kind of thing is a good form of therapy, so...

An open letter to someone who will never see it:

I love you. And I hate you.

You lifted me to a level I thought I could never be at, then just as easily tore me down. You helped me learn what love really was, then bled my heart dry of it.

You made me feel like the most important person in your world, then cast me from it when a newer, prettier model came around.

How could you fucking do this to me, Lexi? You set the bar for what I want in life so damn high, that when you decided you didn't want me anymore, nobody else has a shot at reaching it. I thought you were my soulmate. My best friend. My little piece of forever. I thought you respected me and loved me. I did things sexually for you that I'd never even CONSIDERED with anyone else. And then you dumped me like a bag of trash the minute Whitmore wanted you.

Sometimes I wish you could know how badly you destroyed me. How you hurt me so bad that I still go to bed at night hoping I don't wake the next morning. And that's when the real pain hits me. That moment where I realize that even if you knew, you probably wouldn't care.

So yeah. I love you. And I hate you. I hope you're happy.

Because goddess knows I might never be again.


(Post a new comment)


[info]paige_justice
2019-12-03 02:34 am UTC (link)
I'm seriously wishing I'd beaten the fuck out of Lexi right now.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:14 am UTC (link)
I know, hon. What can I say? I was in love.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]paige_justice
2019-12-03 03:18 am UTC (link)
It's not your fault for falling in love, Ginny. It's her fault for being a shit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:41 am UTC (link)
And this is why you're my best friend, Paige. I could burn a building down and you'd find a way to defend me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]paige_justice
2019-12-03 03:49 am UTC (link)
To be fair, if you burned down a building, I probably helped.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:55 am UTC (link)
If we're being really fair, you probably put me up to it to begin with.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]paige_justice
2019-12-03 03:58 am UTC (link)
Eh, probably. Sounds like something I would do.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]sabra_hills
2019-12-03 03:03 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:15 am UTC (link)
Thank you, Sabra. I'm not wallowing anymore though. I'm fighting. I know I can get through this, no matter how long it takes.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sabra_hills
2019-12-03 03:20 am UTC (link)
It's good that you're fighting, but there's no time limit on heartbreak. You take as long as you need to heal.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:44 am UTC (link)
It's just that it's been years. And I'm starting to feel like a pain in the ass to my friends.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sabra_hills
2019-12-03 03:50 am UTC (link)
I doubt your friends find you to be a pain. I'm sure they understand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 03:56 am UTC (link)
You're such a gentle soul, you know that? You've been through so much, but you remain so positive... it's really impressive.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sabra_hills
2019-12-03 04:00 am UTC (link)
Thank you. That's really sweet of you to say. I'm just being myself, though.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]darkerhues
2019-12-03 04:48 am UTC (link)
You wrote a letter?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gothy_angst
2019-12-03 04:54 am UTC (link)
Supposedly it helps in dealing with the pain and loss. I hoped by making it public, maybe I could encourage others to deal with their own pain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]darkerhues
2019-12-03 04:59 am UTC (link)
Good for you. Hopefully they know who to write the letter to so they face deal with their pain.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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