Lauren Lewis (drhotpants) wrote in freedomtownic, @ 2015-10-27 20:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, holly robinson (hollygonightly), ~lauren lewis (drhotpants) |
Some Embarrassment
Who: Lauren and Holly
Where: Their Apartment
When: Backdated to Friday, October 2nd
What: Admitting feelings
Rating: Erm, Medium
Status: Complete
Lauren hadn't been sleeping well these past few weeks. She honestly couldn't say what had brought it on, beyond fears of what was happening in her world, and worry about Bo. She knew from experience that Bo could handle herself, but... that didn't stop the dreams. Waking up with a gasp, she blinked wearily and looked over at her alarm clock. 3:14am. Lovely. Sighing, she threw off the bed-covers, put on one of her button up collared shirts (which barely went past her waist) and padded blindly to the kitchen to get something to drink.
Holly had been stretched out on the sofa, reading a book on her Kindle. She'd been unable to sleep, and figuring she'd be the only one awake, just sprawled herself out comfortably in tiny spandex shorts and a thin white tank top with no bra. Blinking when she saw her roomie walking out like that, she took a long moment to appreciate those legs, before chuckling out loud. "Jesus, woman... what'd I do to deserve THIS kinda scenery?"
Lauren jumped, startled, and clutched a hand to her chest. She really needed to pay more attention sometimes - too lost in her own world to even realize that Holly was stretched out on the sofa reading. "Sorry! Sorry. I couldn't--bad dreams," she said, buttoning up her shirt so she was at least mildly decent. She wasn't exactly successful, but points for trying, right? "Good book?"
"Not bad... gotta say it's nowhere near as fun as the view I'm getting right now..." She teased, winking at the other woman with a laugh as she closed the Kindle and set it on the coffee table. "So what's wrong, pumpkin? Anything you wanna talk about?"
Lauren blushed profusely. "Let me just go--" She started to say, gesturing with one hand, her shirt riding up a little. Quickly realizing her mistake she crouched down, covering more of her shirt over her crotch. "--put something else on," she finished lamely, quick to scurry back to her room to put on some damn pants.
"Aw, man... take away all my scenery..." Holly called after with with a playful giggle, admittedly tilting her head to the side to check out Lauren's ass as she scurried away. "Damn." She giggled to herself, giving an impressed smirk.
No more than a minute later Lauren returned wearing pj shorts... which hardly covered anything (but it still covered the important bits!) and the same dress shirt as before. Still blushing profusely, she moved to sit down on a chair in their shared living area. "And to answer your question," and attempt to get over my embarrassment, "it's nothing that hasn't come up before. I'm just worried about home. I know logically there isn't much I can do about it, but... there it is."
"I can relate..." Holly said with a quiet little sigh, running a hand through her hair as she sat up a little. "I worry about Selina all the time: if she's ok, if she's worried about where I went off to... add in the fact that I'm admittedly just... cripplingly lonely here... yeah. Let's just say I know where you're coming from."
Lauren nodded. "I try to keep myself busy at work, but it's been almost suspiciously quiet lately." Lauren sighed. She'd become used to being busy, it seemed. "I was actually going to make some tea when you caught me. Would you like some?"
That would be really nice. Thank you, Lauren." Holly said with a little sigh. "I think I just hate that only one person's really shown any real interest in me up here. It's not that I'm trying to make this place into The Dating Game, but still: only person who's shown even an iota of interest in me looks at me like I'm a piece of meat or something. Flattering? Yes. But doesn't do anything to help the loneliness."
Lauren narrowed her eyes at that. "That wouldn't happen to be Alex, would it?" Because frankly Alex looked at her that way and it was a little... unsettling. Lauren gave her a knowing smile and stood up, plodding over to the kitchen to boil some tea for them.
"OH yeah." Holly laughed, rolling her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I would NOT turn down a tumble in the hay with her... but she doesn't seem like she's interested in much MORE, you know?"
"Tumble in the hay," Lauren repeated with a chuckle, shaking her head as she set to making the tea. "I know what you mean." Nothing made her feel worse than knowing that she couldn't fully satisfy Bo - realistically she knew why that was, with Bo being a succubus and all, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. "Have you actually... put yourself out there?"
"I haven't taken to wearing t-shirts that say "SINGLE GAY FEMALE" or anything, but it's not really a secret that I'm on my own, either..." She said with a little grin, wondering if maybe she SHOULD just hook up with Alex. At she wouldn't feel alone during however long it lasted...
Lauren smirked and ducked her head briefly. "Well, you can't exactly expect people to come to you. Sometimes you have to work for the things that you want," she said simply. The tea finally made, she carried the pot over on a tray, along with two small teacups. No sugar and milk required for this one.
"So how do you propose I do this?" Holly asked, laughing with a light blush. "Wear a sign with an arrow pointing at my crotch that says 'Vacancy: Inquire Within'? I mean, it's not like I'm very good at normal socializing..."
"Well, you're doing okay with me," Lauren pointed out. "Dating sites probably don't really work on board, but you could always go to a bar and try it the old fashioned way," she added.
"Typically when I came on to a person in a bar it ended with me giving them an estimate." Holly deadpanned, poking fun at her former career. "I might just be picky, but I guess I have 'types', you know? Which admittedly makes it a lot harder to find someone."
Lauren paused, then said: "It honestly sounds like you're looking for excuses here. Please tell me that I'm wrong."
"Ok, ok..." Holly grumbled, rolling her eyes and pulling her knees to her chest. "Look, I just.... there's only two people here that I'm *really* interested in. One would be far too risky to try, the other would be destined to end in heartbreak for me. So... yeah. I'm not entirely sure what to do."
"How could you really know unless you try?" Lauren asked sensibility, always one to use logic, even when it came to matters of the heart.
"You really think it could be that simple?" Holly asked her, scrunching her face a little. "Just.... go for what I want? I mean, I admit I tend to overthink things at times..."
"The worst someone could say is 'no' and it wouldn't be the end of the world if they did" Lauren pointed out with a small smile.
"Huh. You make it sound so simple..." Holly said, thinking about that for a moment, before sighing and giving a shrug. "Well then... what the hell, right?" She asked, before leaning over and gingerly pressing her lips to Lauren's, eyes fluttering closed, mostly so she couldn't see the look on the woman's face. If she just ruined the best friendship she HAD here... she was gonna be REALLY upset.
Lauren let out a surprised squeak, but after a few seconds she kissed Holly back, lightly tangling a hand through her hair. "...Huh?"
"I like you, Lauren. A lot, actually. Simple as that." Holly told her, giving a grin so bashful and cute it was almost squeal-worthy. "I didn't want to ruin a good thing here. We make awesome roomies, and really great friends. And all it takes is one person developing feelings to throw it alllll out of whack. So... I kept my mouth shut."
Lauren blinked and soaked that in for a minute. "Again... I say 'huh?'" She was a bit of a dork like that, though. "Sorry. I think I need a minute here."
"Oh... I.... ok." Holly whispered, scooting back a little to give her space. She had a feeling, a BAD one, that she'd royally fucked up here. "I... understand if you feel weird living with me now..."
Lauren gave her a 'bitch, please' look. "I don't... okay, so it's a little weird," Lauren replied, blushing. "Mostly because I feel like it's something I should have... paid more attention to."
"...not sure what you mean,exactly." Holly said with a raised eyebrow, making an 'over my head' gesture with her right hand. "Is... this a 'yes, I'm interested', or a 'ew. no, get your skanky self outta my face'? Because... yeah. Not really sure what to make of any of this right now.
"I'm not entirely sure either," Lauren replied with a light furrow of her brow. "You don't think that I'm... old and weird?"
"Old and... are you kidding me?" Holly laughed, giving a dismissive roll of her eyes. "You're quirky, sweet, fun to be around, and like... RIDICULOUSLY hot. 'Old and weird' never even came into my thoughts, hon."
"You're sweet." Lauren smiled. "I wish that I'd picked up on the whole having feelings for me thing sooner." Although if she was forced to admit it, she'd say that she didn't like the idea of Holly getting together with Alex. It just didn't sit right with her. Was that jealousy? "Of course I'm interested, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you changed your mind later," she joked.
"Change my mind. Jesus, Doc... I'd have to be a grade-A flake to just magically wake up one morning and say 'hmm... I don't think I wanna be with her anymore...', you know?" Holly laughed, leaving in for an affectionate hug. "You're kind of awesome. And that doesn't just... change."
Lauren wrapped her arms around Holly and hugged her back. She was sure Kenzi would have a thing or two to say about this... but it wasn't her business anyway. "Well, you've already experienced my tragic sense of humor, so that's one less thing to worry about."
"Just... I mean... are you sure? That you're interested, I mean. I completely understand if you're not." Holly told her, wanting to make sure the other woman didn't fee pressured or cornered into anything here. "Above all else, we're friends, and that's not gonna change no matter what happens right here."
"I know that," Lauren replied, giving Holly a soft smile. "I've been here for a long time now and... while I do worry about home and the people in it the only thing that I have control of is the here and now. And I swear that sounded sweeter in my head," she blushed.
"I had people at home too. If that helps." Holly admitted, blushing lightly. "I had a girlfriend for a good long while. Karon. Then, even after that, I had (funny enough) a roommate that I admit was pretty crushworthy. And when I came here... I felt alone, and depressed.... and then I met you. And I had FUN in my life again. I started smiling again. I started making a life for myself here. And that's all because of the light you brought into my life."
"I think that you give me far too much credit," Lauren murmured, gently grasping Holly's hand to toy with her fingers. "But I'll take it," she joked. "There's so much I could tell you... but honestly right now I'm just grateful to have you in my life."
"Heh. You think having me in your life is nice... wait until you can say you've had me in your BED. Now THERE'S a life-changing experience for ya..." She winked, sweetly able to make jokes about the rather... rough life she led when she was younger. "I've been around. I know stuff. Stuff and THINGS."
"Really now? Stuff and things," Lauren repeated with a laugh, "is that what kids are calling it these days?" She couldn't help it but tease, smirking.
"Oh, yeah." Holly laughed, giving a defiant little smirk. "THINGS. Like, miiiiiiiind-blowing things. Ok, maybe not as mind-blowing as how you look in those pants you like to wear, but.... still."
Lauren laughed. "Was that a compliment?" She grinned cheekily and leaned in to kiss Holly tenderly on the lips.
Surprised (happily) by the sudden show of affection, Holly grinned and blushed just a little. "Well, if you have to ask, you've clearly never looked in the mirror when you're wearing them. Yum." She looked Lauren over a few times, in a rather sweet and appreciative manner. "And just... making sure: you really ARE interested in me? I mean, I know I kinda threw this at you suddenly..."
"Why are you so shocked that I'd choose to be with you?" Lauren asked. She rubbed a hand across Holly's thigh in a soothing manner, although she couldn't help it but note how soft and warm her skin was.
"I just didn't want to assume!" She laughed, sweetly purring a little at her touch. "I remember meeting you for the first time, and just.... thinking you were one of the sexiest women I'd ever laid eyes on."
Lauren blushed. "I was sure that I'd stepped in it. My sense of humor is sometimes... mostly just awful. Especially around beautiful women." Smoooooth, Lauren. Smooth.
"I knew, obviously, that I was physically attracted to you as soon as we met, but...." Unable to help herself, Holly leaned in and snuck a little kiss, just wanting to feel those lips again. "I knew you were special when you first learned about me, and my past didn't even phase you. You knew who I was and what I had been... and treated me no differently. That was when I saw the kind, special person you are... and knew I had to find a way to get you to see me the same way."
"I already think that you're wonderful. Resilient. Kind." She punctuated each word with a tender kiss. "Amazing. Who you were before shaped who you are today and I'm not sure that..." Lauren shook her head. "Long story short. I like you too. Okay?"
"Wow, and you haven't even seen me in my Catwoman costume yet..." Holly said with an impressed laugh, snuggling into the other woman. "It's weird though.... pretty much since I moved in here... I've thought of you as 'home'. Not this place, but YOU. I feel safe, and comfortable, and loved here."
"I still eagerly look forward to the day," Lauren dead-panned, more than happy to snuggle. Despite how standoffish she could come across sometimes, Lauren truly did crave affection. She smiled, although it had a hint of bittersweetness to it. "I like that. We can be each others home."
"Well.... maybe if you're a REALLY good girl..." Holly teased, already planning on asking Wade and Alex to try procuring a replica of it for her. "But you'd have to wear your doctor gear for me. Because not gonna lie: I get all hot and bothered watching you at work. Totally."
"That... actually explains a lot," Lauren chuckled. She twined their fingers and gave Holly's hand a squeeze. "Feel like having a bed buddy tonight? Noooo hanky panky. I'm just a hopeless romantic who likes the idea of falling asleep in your arms."
"I'd love it." Holly told her,setting a hand on Lauren's thigh and giving it a gentle, but wanting, squeeze. "Although, just to let you know? If you decide you WANT some hanky panky? TOTALLY on the table. Just makin' sure you know."
Lauren's eyebrows shot up. "Reeeelly now?" Her grin was more adorable than lecherous then. "Well, then please lead the way and we'll see where the evening takes us."
"Oh, yeah. Completely." Holly said with hilarious sincerity. "Consider this body an all-you-can-eat love buffet." She smirked,standing as she took Lauren's hand. "C'mon."