I feel the same way. I've just been so convinced that I wasn't your type and I'd just slow you down.
As far as my gender goes, I knew in my heart what the answer was when we first started hanging out. I'm not just a boy. I'm not just a girl. I'm not sure if it's 50-50. It doesn't matter. But when I came back all gung ho about being a boy and changing my name, it really knocked me for a loop. So a new friend that I could act like a little kid with? It was exactly what I needed at the time.
All I know for sure is that I've fallen in love with you, Rose. This is the first time I've ever even gotten my toes wet and it's scary.