PERFORMANCE - ASH KOWALSKI
After hamming it up a little last week, Ash felt the need to be more... himself this week. He'd always had a deep, heavy darkness within him, and a degree of self-loathing that he hid carefully beneath a veneer of bravado. So he decided to pick a song that would give everyone a small glimpse into his very soul.
Walking onto the stage, dressed in black jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket over a vintage Tupac tee, he looked at the judges, taking an extra moment to look at Meredith - his oldest and most loyal friend - as a soundbite of him from an earlier interviewed played.
"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life... and done a lot of things that hurt a lot of people. But my deepest regret is the series of mistakes that continued to hurt not only myself, but one person in particular, over and over again."
The lights dimmed, as he took the mic from it's stand, wrapping the cord around his fist.
"It's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high And it's been awhile Since I first saw you And it's been awhile Since I could stand on my own two feet again And it's been awhile Since I could call you"
He raised his voice a bit as the beat grew deeper, pouring everything he had into this.
"And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rendered I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile Since I can say that I wasn't addicted And it's been awhile Since I can say I love myself as well And it's been awhile Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do And it's been awhile But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rendered I've gone and fucked things up again"
Walking toward the front of the stage, he propped one foot up on the nearby amp, practically white-knuckling the mic in his tight grasp, as he moved along with members of the crowd who had started singing along.
"Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile Since I could look at myself straight And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry And it's been awhile Since I've seen the way the candles light your face And it's been awhile But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me I cannot blame this on my father He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry..."
As the music faded out, Ash held his fist in the air, before bowing to the crowd, then turning and throwing a little smile up to the judges.