αℓєχ υ∂ιησν ஜ knows how to live with the pain (russiandoll) wrote in freedomtownic, @ 2014-07-05 16:59:00 |
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Alex had no idea what she was going to do. She hadn't killed herself, so that was something. But every day was so hard. Bruce had gotten to her, talking about what Sean would want. She hadn't wanted to even think about that. She was just so messed up, and she didn't even know where to start on fixing herself. Maybe if Nikita was here, but Alex didn't want to see her. She knew she'd let her down. It didn't matter that it had been Amanda controlling her. It didn't matter that Amanda had done something to her. All of the guilt, that was still on Alex. She was standing in the park, just staring out at nothing. She knew she must look pretty sad and pathetic. And she didn't really know what to do about it. She didn't feel like she had anything to fight for anymore. Amanda wasn't here. And she caused a lot of trouble, and had done enough damage for now. Maybe it was better that she was here and away from all of them. She just wished she could figure out how to deal with everything. Maybe it was just better to not deal. That had worked so well in the past. She felt lost and she didn't see herself coming out of this. She didn't even feel like she wanted to, right now. |