Who: Introducing Alex Vause and Tiffany Doggett, featuring Cosmo and Dr. Hotpants, er, Lauren Where: Mar-Vell Memorial Park When: Thursday, July 9th What: Vause and Doggett's arrival Rating: Medium, for language
"OH MAN! What the shit?!?"
Tiffany Doggett tumbled to the lawn in Mar-Vell park, blinking her eyes open as she looked around. She'd just been in her cell at Lichfield prison, staring at the walls, listening to Leanne be her typical annoying self... when she saw a flash of light, and then BAM. She was outdoors. In the lawn. With about the most perfect sky she'd ever seen.
Of course, the girl they called Pennsatucky had but one thought as she got to her feet...
"OH MY GOD they were right! I been raptured! The Lord has brought me home!"
Vause had been in an entirely different situation than Doggett on their arrival. While Doggett had been lounging around, Vause had been in a fight-for-her-life situation. She'd taken a few blows and then that same bright light engulfed her vision and suddenly she was on board Knowhere. Her cheek was bruised, her knuckles had defensive wounds and she had a long gash along one forearm.
She had no idea how she'd gotten there, only that she was bleeding profusely, felt light-headed and no one was trying to kill her. Yet. "You've got to be kidding me," she muttered, looking around, eyes wide and alert. "We are NOT in fucking heaven, you fucking hick."
Tiffany spun around, her smile fading IMMEDIATELY when she saw Alex there. "Ohhhhhh shit. This can't be the rapture! Cause ain't NO WAY you got chosen, Vause." Which put the next thought into her head... if this wasn't heaven... where WERE they? And how did they get here? "The fuck happened to you? You havin' that rough lesbian sex again or somethin'?"
"Oh, because rough lesbian sex involves getting cut the fuck up, are you fucking serious?" Alex yelled, quick to pull her shirt off to wrap it around her arm. "You can't be that fucking stupid."
"Don't you go judgin' how fucking stupid I am, Vause! You don't know me!" Yeah... as usual, poor Tiffany didn't really think before she said things. Sigh. "Well, if this ain't heaven... where ARE we? People don't just poof like magic and not be in jail anymore!"
"How about you shut the fuck up and help me find a doctor, or so help me the rapture is going to be the least of your fucking worries," Alex replied, clutching her shirt over her forearm, which was quickly getting soaked.
"How'm I supposed to find a doctor when I don't even know where the hell we are???" Although bless her, despite not liking Alex, she DID appear to be looking around, as if hoping she'd see a hospital nearby. Tiffany really wasn't a BAD person. She was definitely not all there... but her time in psyche had at least mellowed her out and made her rethink things.
Alex blinked. "Sound fucking reasoning," she had to concede. And she didn't expect that from Doggett of all people. She groaned and tightened her shirt around her forearm. She still had a bra on, and even then she didn't feel the cold. She had to assume that the blood loss was getting to her. Or maybe she was finally losing her mind. Jesus. She really didn't want to think about it. "Let's start walking. Hopefully we're just sharing a weird fucking hallucination."
"Cosmo is beink sorry for arrivink so late... Usually I am tryink to be here right when new people get here..." The message, while sounding like a voice, was heard in their heads rather than their ears. Standing before them was a rather adorable dog, tongue lolling out, wearing what looked like a Russian cosmonaut outfit.
Tiffany blinked and looked at Alex. "That spacedog is talking to me, Vause. That mother fucking DOG is talking to me. And it sounds like Red."
"...Shared hallucination seems more and more fucking likely," Alex muttered, shaking her head and lifting her glasses up by her fingers to rub at her eyelids. Still, the dog didn't go away. "You'll forgive me if I don't accept your existence, tiny Russian dog."
Giving a sympathetic whimper (highly intelligent or not, he's still a dog, folks), Cosmo concentrated and reached out telepathically, sending forth to both women images and descriptions of everything going on, in an attempt to help them better understand. While doing so, he casually reached in enough to pull out their names and general information (a necessary thing, in case villains or psychopaths came through).
"I am beink very sorry, Ms. Vause, and Ms. Doggett... but beink as you are comink from a prison environment, Cosmo must insist on you both being housed in small, easily watched apartments until we are beink sure you are safe to be around the others."
Tiffany just blinked again, and looked at Alex. "We took some of Nicky's old shit somehow. We had to. Ain't no other way to explain this, Vause!"
Alex blinked and tried to process exactly what was going on. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember taking a buttfuck of herion, Doggett, and so would you." She'd lost her mind, had to have. Why the fuck Tiffany of all people factored into it she had no idea. ...She staggered on the spot and almost fell to the ground. The wound and the blood loss were very real. "I really need a doctor."
"Try to relax, Ms. Vause. Panic will be causink your adrenaline to run, makink you bleed faster. I have already sent for one of my most trusted medics to be assistink you." He told her, sweetly enough walking over to nuzzle her lightly. Again... still a dog, ok? This was how he comforted people.
Tiffany was just trying not to be any more freaked out than she was, but, surprisingly enough, had not left Alex's side. She was trying (bless her soul) to stop the bleeding by wrapping a torn-off strip of her pantleg around Alex's arm, not to much avail.
"Ah," Alex gasped in pain and almost went off on another tirade, but one glance at Tiffany stopped her. She was trying to help. She let out a shuddering sigh and gave a nod of thanks before gradually sinking to the ground, lest she fall over this time. "What was your name again?" She asked Cosmo, reaching over with her good arm to scratch behind his ear. He felt real. All of it felt real. She took a few stabilizing breaths, trying not to freak out. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.
"I am Cosmo, my dear." He told her, wagging his tail happily as she scratched him. Tiffany, meanwhile, was nibbling nervously at her fingernails, before finally asking: "So, like... if we're here now, and this ain't even the same planet and stuff that we're from... are we free? I mean, no more jail?"
"I have to admit that does sound pretty appealing." Especially considering how long Alex still had on her sentence. She quirked an eyebrow and dared to dream for a few seconds, still running her fingertips over Cosmo's head (which was oddly relaxing). Then a thought occurred to her. "Cosmo... did anyone else come through?"
"Neither of you ladies will be imprisoned." Cosmo confirmed, before giving a warning. "But as I said before... you will both be assigned small, easy to observe housink, until such time as you prove you are trustworthy, or until someone here is willink to take responsibility for you."
He looked at Alex, shaking his head once. "Nyet. Only the two of you appeared."
"Thank Christ for that," Alex muttered, likely at both things that Cosmo said, but she didn't clarify. The talking calmed her down, made her forget the pain she was in and the massive amount of blood loss, before she could ask any more questions however, she looked at an approaching figure, a blonde in a lab coat, carrying what appeared to be a medical bag. A hot blonde. She quirked an eyebrow. At least if she was going insane she'd picked some good scenery. "...Hello, Doctor."
"What gave me away?" Lauren asked, sinking down next to Cosmo on the ground and leaning back on her haunches. She noticed the prison gear but chose not to comment on it for now.
"Uh, the name tag," Alex muttered with a laugh, pointing to the name tag affixed to Lauren's lab coat over her breast.
"...Right." Lauren blushed and ducked her head, trying her best to ignore the leering. And also the fact that Alex was half-naked. Shh. "Okay, so." She looked at the blood-soaked makeshift bandages wrapped around Alex's forearm. "That looks... incredibly serious, but let's just humor me and see how bad the damage is."
"And she's tryin' to help, Vause, so don't go tryin' to fuck her. Ain't no time for lesbianing." Tiffany chimed in, sadly enough not even TRYING to be offensive by this point. Cosmo looked up at Lauren with an inquisitive whimper, as if wonder if Alex would be ok. Cosmo took this all VERY seriously. Every refugee that appeared in Knowhere, he considered his responsibility.
"Aye, aye, capt'n," Alex replied, giving Tiffany a mock salute and trying not to laugh her ass off. This was all just... utterly hilarious.
Peeling away the layers of clothing, Lauren winced. "This looks deep. You'll need stitches." And likely a blood transfusion, she thought but didn't add. She glanced at Cosmo apologetically. "Which I probably shouldn't do here. Can you walk?" If she had to she'd call Holly or Jean and arrange transport, but--
"Yeah, yeah, I can walk," Alex replied, already getting to her feet. "As long as you don't mind giving me someone to lean on," she couldn't help it but add, flashing a teasing wink at Doggett.
"Forgive her, miss." Tiffany said to Lauren in a grave, apologetic tone. "I don't really think she can help it. "
Cosmo padded over to Tiffany, wagging his tail cautiously. "Come, Ms. Doggett. I will take you to your new livink quarters while Dr. Lewis treats Ms. Vause."
"I'll somehow survive," Lauren replied dryly, giving Tiffany a warm smile as she stood and collected her bag, offering Alex a shoulder to lean on (which she took all too happily).
"Doggett." Alex looked directly at the woman. "If this place is actually real and not a product of heavy drug use? Do me a favor and don't fuck up."
Cosmo barked once, to get Tiffany's attention, then walked past Lauren and Alex. "Please be takink care, ladies. I will be checkink on you both soon."
Doggett followed Cosmo obediently (which in and of itself was kind of funny), before looking at Alex indignantly. "I ain't gonna fuck NUTHIN' up, Vause! Just don't.... you know... go bleedin' to death or anything." Heh. She meant well. I swear.