Even if you weren't officially a couple it's clear that he's important to you from the way you speak of him. He could end up here as well and that way you can be together, don't give up hope.
No need to be sorry, it was tough but we're together here and that's all that matters to me. You don't need to worry, Grant doesn't always pick up on social cues either so I'm no stranger to that. I think we all have that one person that understands us like no one else ever will. I think the sad thing is some people never find that person. Being without him can't be easy, if you ever want to talk about things I'm a good listener.