Sheriff Jack Carter (eureka_sheriff) wrote in freedomtownic, @ 2015-06-24 01:08:00 |
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Current mood: | sore |
Entry tags: | !thread, jane shepard (cdr_shepard), rocket raccoon (rocket-raccoon), ~jack carter |
Poor Jack!
Who: Jack, Jane and Rocket
When: Friday, June 19th
What: Jack making a fool of himself and some general bonding
Where: The Target Range
Rating: I've no idea, PG?
"Oh, come ON. You flartnards shoot like a couple of little girls." Rocket said in an amused, mocking tone as he reloaded his rifle. He'd decided to let off some steam at the target range, and had run into Jane Shepard and Jack Carter there. Deciding to see how these humans could handle themselves, Rocket had decided to stick around them for a while while he gleefully blew shit up. "No wonder people think your planet is so primitive...." He smirked, just being his typically belligerent self.
"Yeah, well..." Jack started to say, voice higher in pitch as he glanced at Rocket's rifle, then at his own gun, firing off a few rounds: "My gun's mostly been used for show! I've hardly had to use it!"
"... Exactly HOW did you survive the zombie invasion again?" Shepard asked, stopping to reload her sniper rifle.
"Hiding. Lots of hiding was involved," Jack replied, sounding amusingly agitated at the memory of that day.
"I'll tell ya how you BOTH survived it. I saved all your asses." Rocket said with an amused smirk, shouldering his rifle (the damn thing was practically bigger than him!) and expertly firing three blasts at the moving, humanoid-shaped target - and hit all three shots dead between the eyes.
"I'm sure I've heard Stark claim the same thing," Jack said to him, amused more than anything. It seemed that everyone on board Knowhere was capable in some way.
"You have to admit, Rocket's aim is impressive, though," Shepard murmured, cocking her head to one side to study the bullet cluster that Rocket had just made.
"Stark. Please. If that krutack was even HERE during the zombie invasion, I have no idea. Cos I know I sure as hell didn't see him." The furry little grump chuckled, before taking another shot, then looking at Carter. "Hey, Jack... you know anyone who dates Shepard here in the future is basically already looking at an uphill battle? I mean, all she's gotta say is 'Hey, I dumped a literal d'ast goddess.. what could YOU have to offer?', you know?"
"Actually, I wouldn't. Don't think I've met a LITERAL goddess before," Jack replied, deciding to change it up to and try a new weapon.
"I already had a partner, Rocket," Jane reminded him. She and Liara had more or less moved in together after their first date on board the ship. *And she's perfect in every way*, she thought but didn't add. "Are things so quiet here that you have to gossip about my love life?"
"Heeeeey. Not judgin', lady. Not at all. Just saying breaking the heart of one of the Murder Girls? Not the smartest strategy in the world." Rocket said to her, smirking a little. So he found it amusing. Fuck off. Nobody ever said he was a nice guy. He looked at Jack then, raising a furry eyebrow. "Then you need to meet Angela, bud. Tall, leggy redhead with legs that go on for weeks. Fond of wearing armor that covers... pretty much nothing."
Jack's eyebrows shot up. "She sounds... yeah. I have no words," he joked. So, he was married, forgive him for picturing what the woman looked like, okay?
"...Do you know how she's doing? Beyond murder and mayhem, I mean," Shepard asked. It was probably unfair of her to after breaking the woman's heart, but she still cared about her.
"Please. This is Angela. Murder and mayhem is how she deals with everything. Just.... now there's MORE of it, obviously. Look, I ain't judging or gettin' in the middle, lady. All I'm doing is giving facts, and the fact is, she's hurting a lot more than she's letting on." Rocket said, in his usual rip-the-bandaid-off kind of way. He looked at Jack then, snickering. "Leave it to two broads to bring the relationship drama into outer frickin' space, right?" Oh, what a DOUCHE.
Shepard pouted. Maybe she should check on Angela and see how she was doing?
At Rocket's joke, Jack threw up his hands and laughed. "I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole, my furry friend!"
Shepard scowled. "I have a gun, Rocket. I'm not against shooting you." She tried to keep the scowl on her face, but couldn't help it but smile soon after, so obviously the joke didn't go over poorly.
"And ruin this handsome face? Women everywhere would be out for your blood..." Rocket quipped, before handing his blaster to Jack. "Here, pal... try this one. You'll love it, I designed it myself. Careful though, it's got a kickback that'll make you sore for days."
Jack accepted the blaster and sunk a little under its weight. "Whoa. Heavier than it looks." He chuckled. He put his own gun in the holster so he could take a good look at the weapon properly. "Alright, anything else I need to know? I don't wanna blow a hole in anything." Jane quirked an eyebrow and smirked, but kept quiet. This could prove amusing.
"Just aim, pull the trigger, and hold onto yer ass." Rocket snickered, winking to Shepard. Poor Jack... this was either gonna go really well... or really BAD.
"Oooh, I dunno. I don't like that cheeky grin on your face." Jack replied. Still, he was good humored about it, so he took hold of the blaster in both hands and steadied his feet before taking aim at a target. In Eureka, he rarely had reason to draw his gun, let alone use it, but he was a member of Security on board Knowhere, so it was important to be proficient in firearm use. Still, as soon as he squeezed the trigger the kickback was enough that he hit himself in the face. Hard. "SONOFA!" He recoiled, dropping to the ground and clutching at his face.
"Shepard? Alert the press. I think Jack's modeling days may have just come to an abrupt end." Rocket deadpanned, snickering under his breath. "C'mon... walk it off, champ."
"OHMYGOD!" Jack yelled, hobbling around for a moment. He then looked at Rocket, literal tears in his eyes and blood coming out of his nose. "It's broken, isn't it? Tell me it isn't broken."
Shepard covered a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh even though she was completely horrified. "Broken. Totally broken."
"Jesus, buddy... I figured it'd knock you on your ass or something. This is more ridiculous than even *I* expected..." Rocket bit his lip, trying not to be TOO much of a dick by laughing. "Shep... you know if the cute blonde is working at the hospital right now? We could at least get the poor guy some scenery while he's getting his schnoz fixed..."
"I'll make the call and find out," Shepard replied, still trying not to laugh as she walked off to do just that.
"Married, Rocket! Very, very married." He paused for a minute, and then added: "Still... I'd rather a pretty professional than your furry paws on me."
"Jack. Seriously. If you'd prefer me to a hot blonde human? I'd worry about you. Really." Rocket said with a hilariously 'duh' tone. "Besides, is it cheating if it's in a different reality? I mean, by HER reality, none of this even exists, right?" Yep, that's our Rocket. Paragon of virtue.
"Oh god, the blood just won't stop!" Jack complained, tilting his head back to try to stem the flow. "And there's no one for me but Allison, Rocket. I hope that one day you meet her 'cause then you'd understand."
"...such a BABY. How we doin' with the phone call, Shep?" Rocket called over, crossing his arms and just... shaking his head at Jack.
"She sounded groggy but said she'd meet us there," Shepard said to him, walking on over to Jack and helping him to his feet. "Come on. We'll get you there... and next time we'll give you a water gun or something."
"...I'd appreciate that." Jack muttered.
"C'mon, then..." Rocket laughed, lifting the gun Jack had dropped. "Let's get the drama queen here to the hospital. We'll just tell them his ladyparts are hurting." OH DAMN. Rocket, you are not a nice guy at times.