As I’m laying here in my hospital bed. I am really grateful that I’m alive, but a part of me wishes that the cancer would just take it’s course with me, This is the third time that it has came back and spread. If I’m going to die I’d rather die with dignity. I’m wearing a wig full time now, I’m puking my guts out everyday. I have none of my family here and I just wntrhis to be over with so I can live a long and happy life or let it just kill me.