Stop it, sweetheart. It is NOT your fault, ok? Your mom was a strong-willed woman who did what she wanted. And she DAMN sure wouldn't want you to feel guilty.
Please honey... I know this is hard on you, and I know this is selfish as hell, but I need you to be strong. Your mom was my entire LIFE. When my Lucy was taken from me, your mom walked in and healed my heart. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about having to go on without her.