Who: Sayuri and Touya (Kind of a Touya monologue) What: Revisiting the past Where: Freedem Campus and a bookshop in Tokyo When: January 11th, 2010 and sometime 3 or so years ago. Rating: PG-13 Status: Complete
Touya's not one to daydream. He's not one to reminisce, but today he can't seem to help it. He's off-center in the combat classes, distant as he thinks back to a time when things were simple or more simple. He thinks back to the time before when he had been someone else and when Sayuri had been someone else. How old had they even fucking been? Seventeen? Eighteen?
Closing his eyes, Touya moves outside, out of the buildings and doesn't open them until he feels grass under his feet. Fuck this place. He thinks. Fuck Japan too. Fuck everywhere.
Things had been simple for awhile, but they hadn't even been allowed to keep that. To keep those few moments that were theirs. The wind blows past him and he thinks of the night he'd found out that she'd crashed her car. He'd been so mad that he hadn't been able to think straight.
So he'd kissed her, pressing her back against the car, a rough and angry kiss that was probably bruising.
And she'd slapped him. Hard enough to knock his head to one side and hard enough for him to let her go so she could get away.
A small smirk plays on Touya's lips as he moves further into the field. She had slapped him and he'd thought that she hadn't wanted him to do it.
Stupid, both of them. Stupid fuckin' kids.
But... there are still times when he misses it.
* * * * *
"Why did you do that?" she suddenly blurts out. It's been on her mind since it happened, her brain gnawing at the memory like a dog with a bone.
Teru looks at her, his expression flat even though his eyes betray his confusion. What the fuck is she talking about? "... You mean walking?"
She clicks her tongue, frowning. She wasn't up for his sarcasm right now. "What you did the other day," she says, "when you--" She stops abruptly, then hits his arm. "You know!"
He thinks about the other day, glaring at her when she hits him and looking at her as if she's gone crazy. "When I, 'you know'?" He mimicks her tone, not having the slightest clue. "why don't you just fucking tell me what you mean, Tenten?"
She hits him again, just for being an ass. "When--" she falters for a moment, but pushes on, "at the car, the other day." She glances away for a moment, suddenly finding the pavement fascinating. "When you found out about the crash."
His glare deepens when she hits him again and he grabs her hand, fingers binding around her wrist even as she glances away. "What the fu-" Oh. Oh that. "Because I wanted to." Teru mutters after a moment, hesitating for a second and then letting go of her hand.
"Oh." Tenten draws her hand back, looking vaguely uncertain. "Oh, well." She stops, not sure how to respond to something like that. Then,
"Why?"
Teru shrugs uncomfortably, wondering if he's going to get hit again or yelled at or some shit like that. "Dunno. I've wanted to for a fucking while." He looks at her, eyes serious. "You still pissed about it?"
She blinks, startled. "I--no," she admits, shaking her head. "No, that wasn't the reason I was asking. I was just..." curious, she wants to say, but that wasn't the whole truth. "I was wondering," she says quietly. "That's all."
Teru nods after a moment, taking her hand in his own and tugging her the half block that's left before they reach the bookstore. It's only when they reach it, that he lets go of her hand, to open the door and usher her inside. As usual the place is empty, only the clerk behind the counter.
"What--" Tenten begins, but that's really as far as she gets, following along as Teru half-drags her to the bookstore. It's quiet inside, as usual, the clerk regarding them with raised brows, somehow seeming offended that they'd invaded his private sanctuary or something.
Teru lets go of her then, moving in front of her towards their usual corner, the occult section near the back where no one ever went. "So why'd you ask anyway?" He mutters as he pulls out the book on vampires that he had been reading last time. "I mean, why'd you suddenly get curious now?"
Tenten chews her lower lip, ignoring the glaring clerk and following Teru to the occult aisle. She wonders if the truth sounds as pathetic out loud as it did just in her head. "I'd been wondering since then," she finally says sullenly, searching for the section on magicks. "I just hadn't been able to ask."
"But what I don't fucking get is why," Teru quirks a brow at her as he takes his normal seat on the floor, his back against the wall and flips open his book to where he had been before. "I mean. I wanted to do it. I did it. I pissed you off all to hell and you slapped me. What else is there to it?"
"That's--!" Tenten lowers her voice, tries again. "You startled the crap out of me!"
"... Do you want me to apologise?" Just looks up at her, slightly annoyed that she's still standing. "I will if you want, Tenten, but fucking sit will you? You're acting all weird."
She presses her lips together to stop a retort and returns her attention to the magic section instead, trying to remember the title of the book she'd been reading the last time they'd been at the store. It's a little difficult when she's not up to reading at all, but continuing the conversation would be an exercise in futility. Teru doesn't have the explanation she wants to hear, although if she has to admit it to herself, Tenten's not even sure what that explanation would be.
Giving up on remembering the last book, Tenten picks another one instead, something about the history of magic, and settles down against the opposite wall. The book is ancient, all cracked leather and paper going brown, gold embossing gone faint and peeling.
Teru watches her as she moves, not even seeming to realise that he's doing it until she's sitting down opposite of him. Tenten is in a mood and Teru has no fucking idea what put her in one, but he's going to give it one last try he decides. If she's still acting weird after that, he'll leave it.. Turning the page of his book (even though he hasn't read any of it), he arches an eyebrow at her. "You can sit closer, it ain't like I'm going to try to do it again."
She levels him a mild glare over the top of her book. She doesn't even know how to respond to that. "I wasn't even thinking of that," she tells him, frowning. And even if he did, it wasn't like...well.
But she moves anyway, because brooding would be pointless and then they'd both be in bad moods for the rest of the day. She scoots over and sits down beside him, book against her knees. "Okay?" she asks, turning old, crinkly pages with more concentration that the move actually requires.
Teru doesn't know how to explain it, but strangely, he feels calm when she sits herself down beside him. It's like some of the tension is gone even though there's a new type of tension to replace it. Whatever though, you can't have everything you want. "Yeah, just fucking dandy." He mutters, glancing back down at his book again and trying to focus on what it's saying. It's hard though because they're like close and shit, and he can fucking smell her.
Tenten glances at him, mildly exasperated. Great, so he was pissed when she was sitting across from him and he's pissed now, too. This was going to be one of those afternoons, it really felt like it, and Tenten thinks that maybe bringing up the whole incident was actually just a stupid idea. She looks down at the stupid antique book and the stupid fading pages and doesn't take in a single word.
Just fucking dandy.
Teru doesn't say anything for a bit, reading the same part over and over again, his mind's not focusing at all though and finally he snaps the book shut, looking at her. "Are you pissed off at me for something that happened two weeks ago, or what?" He still doesn't get why it was brought up.
"I didn't say that," she mutters, looking at the words on her current page and realising they're written in Sanskrit or Phoenician or some obscure language she can't possibly understand. The book is useless, then. "I told you, I was just wondering."
But I don't fucking get why. The words are on Teru's lips, but he doesn't say them, just leaning back against the wall. "So me doing it didn't piss you off."
She pauses, fingers curling around the edges of the book a little more tightly. "...no," she says softly, shaking her head. "Not really, no."
He looks up at her then, confused by the reaction. "...But you hit me for it."
She glares at him again. "First you were mad, then you were on me," she replies coldly. "What did you think I was going to do, thank you?"
"... Maybe..." Sadly, Teru's answering honestly as he shrugs and looks at the book again just for a moment. "Or at least kiss back or something like that. Fuck."
She stares at him, wide-eyed, and then the surprise passes. She closes the book and hits his arm again. "You're a narcissistic asshole!" she hisses, moving to get up. She wants to throw the book at his stupid head but decides against it; if the damn thing fell to pieces she'd have to pay for it.
Teru reaches out, stopping her because he really didn't mean to piss her off. Not really at least. "Tenten wait." He pulls he back down. "Don't be pissed, yeah?
"A little late," she snaps, but she doesn't pull away. Instead Tenten narrows her eyes, sits down on the floor beside Teru again. "What," she says flatly.
"Don't be pissed," he says again, not letting go of her hand even though a part of him wants to lean in and... end up getting slapped again.
Her mouth twists into a semblance of a grimace, though it's more of a sullen pout. "Don't be an asshole," she counters, trying not to think of the warmth of his hand. She's angry, dammit.
"I'm always an asshole," Teru counters, giving the hand that he's holding a squeeze before letting go and leaning in to mutter. "And it's never fucking bothered you before."
She blinks, leaning back as he leans in closer. "Well, congratulations, then," she manages to retort, though her voice lacks any bite. "Probably means you're getting better at it as time goes on."
Those feelings are really... really hard to resist and finally, Teru pulls back just a bit, his eyes focusing on her face. "Guess so," he says finally, giving up and leaning back against the wall once more. "Just don't be fucking pissed, okay?"
Tenten stares, and then her gaze goes shuttered. "Fine," she says vaguely, not interested in bickering any longer. It's too wearing to be mad when she's not even sure what's supposed to be making her angry.
Absently, she looks down at the book she's clutching. The Sanskrit one. Useless, she thinks, moving to return it. Absolutely useless.
Teru watches her get up, running through that had happened and coming to the conclusion that she still wasn't happy with him. What the fuck was up with girls anyway? They said one thing, did another and then wanted another one even. That thought though made Teru pause, looking at Tenten again and watching her quietly. Did another and wanted another one, huh... Pushing himself to his feet, Teru reached out for her, his fingers latching onto her shoulder to turn her to face him.
Ah, crap, and she can't even remember where the book was supposed to be. It wouldn't even be a problem if the store's usual clerk isn't such an obsessive-compulsive old tyrant, and Tenten doesn't want to think about how pissy he'd get if the books were all wrong--
She barely manages to stifle a yelp when she feels pressure on her shoulder, pulling her around. She didn't even hear Teru get up. "Holy crap, you scared me!" she hisses, swatting at him by reflex. "What--?"
"Shut up," Teru mutters, both hands moving to rest on her shoulders as he leans in, pressing his lips against hers for the second time as he pushes her back ever so slightly against the bookshelf. The kiss isn't rough, but it's not gentle either and after a moment or two, he pulls back to look at her, wondering if she's gonna slap him again.
She doesn't even have a chance to react. It happens, and then it's done, and Tenten blinks, staring at Teru in dazed confusion. On the bright side, she thinks, it's not completely unexpected this time, and at least this kiss didn't come right after a monumental argument. So maybe it really means something.
Tenten thinks she'd really like it if it does.
"Oh," she finally manages to say, though it comes out sounding more like a sigh than a response.
Well, it's not a slap, but she doesn't really seem all that happy about it either. Teru almost feels like sighing himself. The other woman he'd been with had hung all over him, but not Tenten, never Tenten. As if she'd ever fucking make anything easy for him, but still... the need that's twisting his stomach is sharp and he leans in again, slower this time to kiss her again. If he got pushed away this time too, it'd be his third strike, and he gives her that option, loosening his grip on her shoulders so she can push him back if she wants to.
She meets him halfway when he leans in again, dropping the Sanskrit book in favour of curling her fingers in his shirt and pulling him closer. She's not entirely sure why she's suddenly so bold; maybe because she's only wanted this to happen for years. Except she's never really quite figured out how to broach the subject with someone like Teru...but hey, now she doesn't have to bring it up in conversation at all. Tenten closes her eyes and kisses him like she's always wanted to, because if Teru can do it just because he felt like it, then hell, she should, too.
This isn't what Teru was expecting, but when Tenten meets him halfway he can feel that knot in his stomach loosening even as it tightens and his arms move of their own accord, one banding around her back, fingers gripping her shoulder as the other moves to wrap around her waist. His lips move against hers, lacking the light and gentle feelings that normally came with first kisses, sacrificing them to intensity as his tongue slides over her bottom lip.
Teru's strong, and Tenten thinks he doesn't quite understand that, with the way he's holding her, pulling her close. She makes a soft sound against his mouth, breath catching, lips parting at the touch of his tongue. Teru's holding onto her like he doesn't plan on letting go anytime soon, and Tenten thinks she's pretty much fine with that, sliding her hands out from between their bodies and pressing her palms against his back. Closer, she thinks distantly, just a little bit.
It's almost as if the bookstore doesn't exist anymore, as if they're somewhere else. Somewhere private and safe as Teru's tongue slides past Tenten's parted lips to brush against hers, slowly at first before deepening the kiss more. It's hard to breathe, a heady feeling surrounding his mind when he finally breaks the kiss, only pulling back an inch to whisper her name. "You good?" He mutters, the closest he's going to get to asking if she's alright with this, with all of this, with him...
"Hm," she murmurs, blinking up at him with wide eyes. "What?" Her mind registers the question and she nods, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Yeah," she says softly, absently stroking lines up and down his back with her fingertips. She looks up at him. "You're just asking now?"
"You might have said no before," his eyes are serious, but the casualness of his posture betrays that he's kidding in his own way. His grip on her is still tight, even though he forces his fingers to relax slightly, his thumb stroking over her shoulder as he leans forward to press a kiss to her neck.
Tenten flinches, drawing back--she nearly smacks her head back against the shelves, but her eyes are wide. She feels jittery. "Don't," she blurts out, moving her hands up to cover her neck. She feels heat rise to her cheeks, ducks her head a little. "I'm ticklish there."
Teru arches an eyebrow at her, but he does pull back. "So no one's ever kissed your neck then?" He sounds disbelieving because it feels really good and he thinks she's missing something.
She narrows her eyes at him. "I'm ticklish," she repeats, because obviously he didn't listen the first time. The last person who'd had their fingers near her neck got her elbow in his gut.
To be fair, it was a reflex.
"I'm going to do it one day," Teru promises, but then he leans in to find her lips again, sucking lightly on her lower one. "It feels good."
"Because you're not ticklish," she argues adamantly, reaching up and taking his face in her hands. "Do it and I'll hit you." She kisses him, nipping at his lips in retaliation, before she draws back and shoves at him gently. "Now get off me, we're in public."
"You hit me anyway," Teru points out, but he pulls back nonetheless loosening his hold, but not quite letting go. He doesn't want to yet. "As if anyone's going to fucking see us here."
Teru has a valid point--actually, he has two--but she doesn't have to agree with either. "You know that's what those horny kids in the biology building always say before someone walks in on them with their pants down?" she asks blithely, raising her eyebrows.
"So you're saying we were going to get that far?" His eyebrow raises as high as hers do, definitely not releasing his grip now, but then he just shakes his head slightly. "Why don't you talk to the old man and see if he'll let us take the books home or something? We'll go somewhere else."
"You know he won't let us take anything out of the store if we don't buy it." Tenten turns her head, trying to peer through the gaps in the shelves to see if the old clerk's moved from his post near the entrance. She decides to not dignify his other question with an answer. Or even a spare thought.
"So we'll buy it then," Teru considers what he has in his bank account and then nods. "Choose something." He demands, going over to put his own book away to find something that he's more interested in. After all, he needed something that would have a high offensive power against the supernatural. There was no sense in looking for books on hunters. There was never more than a page on them and that was if he was lucky.
Tenten sighs, crouching down to pick up the Sanskrit book. She checks the cover for new damage, although really, the stupid thing was so old and decrepit she doubts an extra wrinkle or two would make a difference, but she does it anyway. It seems as perfectly old and useless as it did before, and she stuffs it into a random space between two books, regarding the shelves for a moment. Magic is too broad a subject, and half the things written about it were written by wannabes with vivid imaginations.
She doesn't want anything, she decides, and sidles up beside Teru instead. "Found anything?" she asks. Teru's always complained about the lack of information on hunters ever since he discovered the bookstore, but maybe he'd be lucky today.
"Nothing," he replies, knowing she's asking about hunters. "Go ask the old man if he's got anything new in, would you?" His eyes are focused elsewhere, scanning the shelves for a title that had caught his eye last time. He takes it for granted that Tenten will go as he picks out one of them, a book on supernatural monsters and then a much smaller one which he doesn't want her to see.
Tenten hums her acquiesence, straightening and heading towards the front. She doubts the clerk's got anything new though; Sakamoto-san was so picky about what he stocked in his antique bookstore that he rarely had anything new. Still, Tenten supposes with a little sigh, it can't help to ask.
Sakamoto-san looks at her suspiciously when she comes up, like he doesn't know her, although she's worked at the damn place since she was fifteen. It's been years, she thinks with an inward eyeroll. Then again, Tenten has the sneaking suspicion that Sakamoto-san's gone senile.
* * * * *
Where was she now? Touya pulls out his phone to glance at it.
Fucking nothing. Not that he expected her to contact him. Not when she was nursing internal wounds. Not when the entire fucking world had gone to hell in a hand basket and the people whom they had come to know and trust were dying right before their eyes. No, he wasn't expecting to see her tonight.
No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much she wanted to... They were living in a different world now and nothing was simple. Nothing was easy.
He dials her number, lets it ring once before he hangs up the phone.
She'll see the call and know that he was thinking of her and it'll be enough. It'll have to be enough.
Fuck this place. Touya thinks and begins to jog, wanting to clear his mind of what had happened. Losing himself in the past wouldn't help anyone. It wouldn't help Sayuri and it wouldn't help what Locke was going through, what Ty was going through. What Liadan had seen and felt.
It wouldn't even help stupid 1 and stupid 2 so what was the fucking point?
But still, even as he runs, he finds himself remembering laughter. Brief, overwhelmed by the blood and the chaos that their lives had become, but still it shone through the darkness, reaching out to him to wrap him in a warm embrace.
And despite himself, he finds himself turning around, heading back toward the dorms.
He wants to see her. Needs to see her even though he doesn't want to admit it, not even to himself.
If the world was gonna go to hell, if everything was gonna fuckin' fall apart, he was going to be by her side while it happened so she could hit him and he could swear at her. So he could shake her, bruise her, hold her. So she could yell at him, fight him, swear that she hates him.