"I'm not stronger for it," Paul said, "so that would be a lie. I was never scared before, I could sleep, I could be alone without locking every door and window and flinching at every sudden noise. He ruined me and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces." Paul ran his hand over buzzed hair and slid down off his chair to make himself another drink. "I- I feel the same way about Tommy as he feels about me, I know that. And I never really felt like I had friends before him and Bret, not since... I graduated high school."
He emptied the ice out of his glass and filled it up again, mixing another drink quickly and turning back to Glibt. "I can't really say much more without saying a lot about Harvey and about how he's helping me piece myself back together. It's strange how I started to need that feeling, you know, I went so long thinking that everything he said to me was right that when I had someone telling me that I was worth it and all those wonderful things that Harvey says I... I couldn't. I hated it because I didn't think it was true and I got mad at him for doing it. I wanted to know that he understood how much I hated myself for what I had done and how I couldn't just stop thinking those things overnight." He wasn't sure how much more he should say in front of Glibt and he was trying to do it tastefully, but he did want to talk... he supposed he wanted someone to say it was okay, that he wasn't wrong for what he wanted.
"I'm not sure he did understand at first, but he tried, and I'm not sure he fully understands all of those complex machinations and why, but it doesn't matter because he understands what I need. Sometimes I still feel like I'm a burden to him, though. That he spends all this time working so hard and then comes home to someone who needs so much more work. I know - I know - that he likes them damaged and he likes being needed and that he doesn't give up on people... But sometimes I still worry that I ask for thing from him that he just does to humor me. I don't want him to suddenly get bored of me," he said, biting back another rush of tears, "I don't want him to suddenly decide that I'll never be fixed."