Echo/Ekho (dittoparrot) wrote in forgotten_gods, @ 2010-06-05 00:33:00 |
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Current mood: | distressed |
Hate That I Love You
Who: Echo [Narrative]
What: Introspection
Where: Emergency Room, then the apartment
When: Late Friday night/early Saturday morning
Warnings: Mentions of Narcissus, baby stuff
Sitting in a hard plastic chair in a hospital emergency room, Echo listened as the doctor sitting next to her droned on and on. He was attempting to be sympathetic, even going to far as punctuating his words with the signs associated with them, but try as she might the nymph couldn't relax. The simple fact that she had ended up cutting a night of fun off early because she seriously believed she was going into labor had rattled her to the core. To find out that it was just Braxton Hicks Contractions, and not the real deal come early, had not set her mind at ease.
All she could think about was that Narcissus should have been there with her, doing all those things that the expectant partners she read about in books or saw on television always did. Instead, she had no idea where her baby daddy was and his complete inability to be reliable was grating on her last nerve. The fact that she still wanted him after everything he had pulled, leaving when he had promised her that he wouldn't, frustrated her more that she could bear to admit. She knew that logically taking Gaia's advice and lawyering up would be her best option, getting full custody and limiting his visits to their child to make sure that Bastian grew up in a fully loving environment would ensure that their son didn't end up with psychological problems, but as she felt the fetus moving in her stomach she felt sick at the thought of subjecting him to a drawn-out custody dispute.
Narcissus wouldn't change. He would always love himself and his reflection more than anything else. For all her failings she had made so many sacrifices to prove her love to him, and rarely got the payback or reaction she felt she deserved. The few times she had gotten some form of validation for her feelings for him were far between and all revolved around the being growing inside her. They had already bonded as far as Echo was concerned, the way Bastian reacted when he would hear Narcissus speak was as clear a sign as any, but it didn't erase her fears that Narcissus would be as absentee a father as he was a boyfriend.
What type of boyfriend, knowing his baby mama was skittish and had been menaced in the past, just took off with no warning? What type of idiot girlfriend, aware that this most likely happened because said boyfriend rarely thought about anyone but himself, tuned out even the most rational of her supporters because she still worried that she'd die without the boyfriend's love? What type of mother would consciously entertain the idea of raising a child with a man who only seemed to realize she was there when it suited him?
To his credit, Echo assumed that if Narcissus knew his unexpected leaving would bring about troubles in her pregnancy he would have been more careful. Instead, he hadn't been there when she had to go to the doctor after repeated dizzy spells followed by migraines and nausea. He wasn't there when she had been warned to take it easy since her symptoms pointed to a possible case of preeclampsia, and maybe if he had been he would have babysat her a little more closely instead of leaving her to her own devices. She was still a nymph at heart, and had only recently begun to understand the concepts of danger and fear thanks to Mania. Deep down the fact that she wasn't some silly fragile mortal lingered, so the sheer idea that her pregnancy could be impacted by problems only mortals faced was beyond her. She could indulge in a bit of bitchery and blame Narcissus and his shoddy mortalness, but that would be petty.
As the questions swirled around her head Echo snapped back to reality, blinking as she gazed into the face of the smiling doctor. Was there anyone he could call, he asked, and while she could have easily given him Daphne or Twila's number she shook her head. Signing quickly, she explained she was on vacation, and didn't need to bother anybody. Once she confirmed with the doctor that it was fine for her to leave, so long as she promised to go rest, she headed back to the apartment. Sitting at the kitchen table, both hands resting on her belly as she elevated her feet on a chair, she debated her next move.
The strange fake contractions would keep happening, the doctor had warned her, and considering all the other problems she had been having with this whole baby incubation Echo only had one clear choice. She'd have to go home, and face the music. Whether Narcissus was there or not the thought of being closer to the few people who might be able to help her if something became dire was more important than indulging her desire to keep running from her problems. If he was there when she got home then she'd put her health and Bastian's first, and deal with the problem. If not, she'd change the locks and see how he liked being the one having to do some worrying.
She would let Daphne and Twila know what was going on come morning, and they could choose if they wanted to stay or go. She'd even offer them her car to return to her if they liked. She just knew that the sooner she was back in her cabin on the mountain the better she would feel. All the shopping and pretty baubles in the world couldn't replace the pleasure of the wind in her hair as she watched the hunters come and go. One day, if all went well, she and Bastian could watch together, and maybe even marvel as Narcissus taught their son how to expertly take down a buck.
A nymph could dream.