Echo/Ekho (dittoparrot) wrote in forgotten_gods, @ 2010-03-28 12:59:00 |
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Current mood: | contemplative |
Current music: | Slipknot - Dead Memories |
Entry tags: | ekho |
Dead memories...
Who: Echo [narrative]
What: Researching oneself
Where: New York Public Library
When: Sunday afternoon
Warnings: The various Echo/Pan mythos explored.
The nightmares were nothing new. In fact, Echo had first started experiencing them shortly after Valentine's Day, around the time she found out that Himeros had ended up bound to Mania for the day. She hadn't thought anything of the connection, simply because back then the dreams were vague, unclear. She could hear a man's voice calling to her, sense his anger, and in the truly bad ones could feel herself running as fear gripped her before she was caught and attacked. She knew something terrible happened to her, but exactly what was beyond her.
Then she received that package, and the nightmares came back. This time, they were far clearer, everything was more distinct. The man, satyr, who had been trying to attract her attention had a name. He called himself Pan, and in some of the dreams he wooed her and they ended up happily raising a family. In others, she was already in love with Narcissus and ignored Pan, leaving him to pine alone for her like she had once done for Narcissus. However, in the most prevalent of the dreams, she was already in love with Narcissus but when she spurned Pan's advances he chased her down and ripped her apart.
Each one of the dreams felt so realistic, to the point where she would wake up confused and scared. She couldn't tell Narcissus, both because she had trouble articulating it, but also because she was unsure of why she would be experiencing such visions. It made no sense to her, even when she thought back over her life all she could remember were the circumstances of her curse and then falling in love with Narcissus; this God Pan was barely a blip on her radar; yet when she was sleeping she felt like all the things she was experiencing in the dreams had happened in her life before.
Confused, worried, and mostly wondering why this was all coming to the surface now, Echo decided to do some research. Heading to the library, she sat down with her laptop and a bunch of books and began to read through the stories of her past. Hours passed, and the more she read the more her current reality and the reality of her dreams began to make sense. The contradictions within the stories was incredible, however one thing became clear; in the stories where Pan's anger led to her being ripped apart Mania was involved.
Closing the book, she sat there and contemplated. Part of her refused to accept that there was ever a lifetime she experienced that didn't include Narcissus, and yet in that one story of her and Pan she had also given birth to a daughter. In the other stories the one thread that seemed constant was that her love for Narcissus led to her demise; be it from fading away, or from being rend from stem to sternum. Suddenly, she realized why Mania might be so interested in her, beyond any possibly lingering jealously from her time with Himeros.
She had to find some way to tell Narcissus; she wouldn't want Mania attempting to re-create certain events and possibly hurting the baby. Grabbing a few books, she hoped he was willing to listen, read, and help her figure out what to do next.