Atheism (![]() ![]() @ 2010-02-22 22:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | atheism, speed |
Who: Atheism and Speed
What: Feeding the vulture
When: Monday night
Where: Hotel room downtown
Warnings: Drug use, sexual content
Atheism sat on the edge of a bed, sweating in his undershirt, three beers in him, but thirsty for something irresponsible and stupid, and hungry for something sweeter than any drug. Goodness gracious, but he had hoped this feeling would not come to him again for some time. He'd thought that the fever dream he had spent Valentine's day in would be his period of manic madness and craving for the year. And yet, here he was, in a hotel room on a weeknight with a cold sweat on his forehead, fingertips itching, head spinning, not calling John who maybe could have actually helped, but did Atheism even want help? No, he wanted carrion, he wanted to pluck at the flesh of a dying thing that had the audacity to count itself among the gods.
Sweating in his undershirt, nervous and full of self-loathing because he was a lie and a vulture and too afraid to ask anyone for help. It would be a good distraction, having Speed again - this time by choice and with full awareness of the drugs and a full memory of the sex to recall later and hate himself for. It wasn't his fault he was a vulture, really, he was old and hungry and sick in his head, and maybe if he could get some speed in him and get some of himself in Speed, then he could stave off the urge to snap up and devour and destroy.
The door was unlocked, he glanced to it every half a minute or so, hands clutched over his knees, bare toes curling into the carpeting.